You plan to move to the Philippines? Wollen Sie auf den Philippinen leben?

There are REALLY TONS of websites telling us how, why, maybe why not and when you'll be able to move to the Philippines. I only love to tell and explain some things "between the lines". Enjoy reading, be informed, have fun and be entertained too!

Ja, es gibt tonnenweise Webseiten, die Ihnen sagen wie, warum, vielleicht warum nicht und wann Sie am besten auf die Philippinen auswandern könnten. Ich möchte Ihnen in Zukunft "zwischen den Zeilen" einige zusätzlichen Dinge berichten und erzählen. Viel Spass beim Lesen und Gute Unterhaltung!


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Showing posts with label Anger. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anger. Show all posts

Saturday, November 12, 2022

ROUSED TO ANGER?

Anger. A day rarely goes by without us feeling angry. It is not necessary to cite examples. Sometimes, it's just a minor reason like we hate the fly at the wall. Sometimes anger has important reasons. 


Anger seems to become the main part of our daily life. That's why it is really important to talk (again?) about this phenomenon. As I said, anger is one of the most basic emotions. Everyone can really get angry. If someone told you, he won't get angry, better don't believe him.


Anger is a terrible feeling of being against something or someone. It can be my neighbor, because he is still (!) burning poisonous plastic and rubber garbage. Many of us get angry observing some politicians during those days worldwide.


Anger is a hostile emotion that sets people against one and another, or even against themselves. By its nature, anger involves opposition, hostility, hatred and dislike. Anger, however, is simpler to define than to identify. Emotions of antagonism can take a wider variety of faces. Expressions of anger range from the overt, in-your-face brand of open hostility to the cold indifference of a silent individual.


Anger at the workplace is becoming very common nowadays.


One of my good friends works as a stewardess. Imagine yourself 35,000 feet up, pushing a trolley down a narrow aisle surrounded by restless passengers. A toddler is blocking your path, his parents not immediately visible. A passenger is irritated that he can no longer pay cash for an in-flight meal, another is demanding to be allowed past to use the toilet. And your job is to meet all of their needs with the same show of friendly willingness. For a cabin crew member, this is when emotional labor kicks in at work.


A term first coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild, it’s the work we do to regulate our emotions to create “a publicly visible facial and bodily display within the workplace”.


At times, anger can be felt like an inner fire. It hits you in the gut. You see red and feel hot and maybe sweaty. Your stomach gives you problems, our blood pressure rises, and breathing rate increases. Not only neighbors or politicians are the reason for anger. The silent withdrawal and lack of understanding and innumerable shortcomings of a partner or in the family are often an indication that one is angrily punishing the other for not doing things his or her way.


 Back to the workplace: unhelpful attitudes such as ‘I’m not good enough’ may lead to thinking patterns in the workplace such as ‘No-one else is working as hard as I seem to be’ or ‘I must do a perfect job’, and can initiate and maintain high levels of workplace anxiety.


When research into emotional labor first began, it focused on the service industry with the underlying presumption that the more client or customer interaction you had, the more emotional labor was needed.


However, more recently psychologists have expanded their focus to other professions and found burnout can relate more closely to how employees manage their emotions during interactions, rather than the volume of interactions themselves. Perhaps just only today you turned to a colleague to convey interest in what they said, or had to work hard not to rise to criticism. It may have been that biting your lip rather than expressing feeling hurt was particularly demanding of your inner resource.


But in some cases maintaining the façade can become too much, and the toll is cumulative. 


In another friend's last position, the “customer was king”.  She was working in a shopping mall. Many times, she got a tirade of abuse from several customers. “When I explained what happened to my senior, I was told I must have said or done something to warrant this response… I was then told I should go and apologize.” Yes, that's how it is!


As I stated earlier: Minor things could become the start of anger. Over the years, handling the stress caused by suppressing one's emotions became much harder. Small things seemed huge, we easily dreaded going to work and  anxiety escalated. 


Across the globe, employees in many professions are expected to embrace a work culture that requires the outward display of particular emotions – these can include ambition, aggression and a hunger for success.


The way we handle emotional labor can be categorized in two ways – surface acting and deep acting.


A few years ago, the New York Times wrote a “lengthy piece about the “Amazon Way”, describing very specific and exacting behaviour the retail company required of its employees and the effects, both positive and negative, that this had on some of them. While some appeared to thrive in the environment, others struggled with constant pressure to show the correct corporate face.


“How we cope with high levels of emotional labour likely has its origins in childhood experience, which shapes the attitudes we develop about ourselves, others and the world,” says clinical and occupational psychologist Lucy Leonard.  


“Unhelpful attitudes such as ‘I’m not good enough’ may lead to thinking patterns in the workplace such as ‘No-one else is working as hard as I seem to be’ or ‘I must do a perfect job”, and can initiate and maintain high levels of workplace anxiety,” says Leonard.  


Workers are often expected to provide good service to people expressing anger or anxiety – and may have to do this while feeling frustrated, worried or offended themselves.


Take the example of a particularly tough phone call. If you are surface acting you respond to the caller by altering your outward expression, saying the appropriate things, listening while keeping your actual feelings entirely intact. With deep acting you make a deliberate effort to change your real feelings to tap in to what the person is saying – you may not agree with the manner of it but appreciate the aim.


Both could be thought of as just being polite but the latter approach – trying to emotionally connect with another person’s point of view – is associated with a lower risk of burnout. Good thing: many offices over the last decade have created recreational or rest spaces in a bid to mitigate employee stress.


When things get tough, you might be very lucky  talking to colleagues to unload. “It’s the saying it out loud that allows me to test and validate my own reaction. I can then go back to the person concerned,” one of my former officemates in Germany explained many years ago.


Those who report regularly having to display emotions at work that conflict with their own feelings are more likely to experience emotional exhaustion


Remaining true to your feelings appears to be key – numerous studies show those who report regularly having to display emotions at work that conflict with their own feelings are more likely to experience emotional exhaustion.


Of course, everybody needs to be professional at work and handling difficult clients and colleagues is often just part of the job. But what’s clear is that putting yourself in their shoes and trying to understand their position is ultimately of greater benefit to your own well-being than voicing sentiments that, deep down, you don’t believe.


Where it is possible, workers should be truly empathetic, be aware of the impact the interaction is having on them and try to communicate in an authentic way. Easy to say, yes, I know. But let's give it a try!

Thursday, November 18, 2021

On anger and preaching






By Fr. Roy Cimagala *


          WE cannot deny that there are moments when we find ourselves

angry, or even when we need to be angry. We just have to learn how to

handle this emotion that in itself is neither good or bad. It depends

on how we do it.


          In this regard, it might be good to take a look again at

that occasion when Christ got angry with those who turned the temple

area into a marketplace. (cfr. Lk 19,45-48) We can also take this

occasion to realize how we, especially priests, ought to preach so

that like Christ in this gospel episode, we can attract people to our

words.


          As noted in that occasion, people were hanging to Christ’s

words such that those who wanted to put Christ to death could not

carry out their plan.


          Yes, anger is one of our God-given emotions, locked into our

nature as persons. It has its legitimate use. But precisely because of

our precarious human condition here on earth, we have to be wary of

it. In fact, anger is also considered one of the capital sins, along

with pride, envy, greed, lust, gluttony, sloth, that can beget many

other sins.


          If ever we have to be angry, let’s try our best to be angry

in the spirit of Christ who showed anger over the self-righteous

Pharisees and scribes, and over those who turned the temple area into

a market place. Christ’s anger is what is called righteous anger, one

that is done always in charity and in the truth, and not just due to

opinions and biases. It’s an anger that is meant to correct, purify,

heal.


          Besides, Christ’s anger is only momentary. It does not last

long. As a psalm would put it, “his anger lasts only a moment, but his

favor lasts a lifetime. Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing

comes in the morning.” (30,5) He is slow to anger, and quick to

forgive.


          We really have to learn how to hold our horses, especially

when we feel provoked or incited. We have to lengthen our patience,

our capacity to suffer. We have to broaden our mind so we can we can

quickly and easily capture the more important things in a given issue

rather than react immediately to things that are only incidental to

that issue.


          With respect to preaching, we have to understand that it is

a task entrusted to his apostles and shared by all of us in different

ways. The clergy take a leading role in this affair. It’s a serious

business that involves our whole being, and not just our talents and

powers.


          Obviously, to carry out this mission, we need to know our

Lord and his teachings. We have to go to him and read the Gospel.

Reading and meditating on it should be a regular practice for us, a

habit meant to keep us in touch with him.


          Thus, every time we read the Gospel, we have to understand

by our faith that we are engaging with our Lord in an actual and

living way. We are listening to him, and somehow seeing him. We can

use our imagination to make ourselves as one more character in any

scene depicted by the Gospel.


          For this, we need to look for the appropriate time and

place. We have to be wary of our tendency to be dominated by a

lifestyle of activism and pragmatism that would blunt our need for

recollection and immersion in the life of Christ.


* Chaplain Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise (CITE), Talamban, Cebu City

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com


Monday, November 8, 2021

On anger and our love for the Church






By Fr. Roy Cimagala *


          THAT gospel episode where Christ drove away those who

converted the temple area into a market place (cfr. Jn 2,13-22)

reminds us of what is known as righteous anger and of our duty to love

the Church, not only as a physical building but most especially as the

very People of God, the very Mystical Body of Christ of whom we are

members.


          Yes, there is such thing as righteous anger which we have to

understand well since it is a very delicate emotion or passion that

can easily turn bad if we are not careful. Remember St. Paul saying,

“Be angry but do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger,

and do not make room for the devil.” (Eph 4,26)


          Anger is one of our God-given emotions, locked into our

nature as persons. It has its legitimate use. But precisely because of

our precarious human condition here on earth, we have to be wary of

it. In fact, anger is also considered one of the capital sins, along

with pride, envy, greed, lust, gluttony, sloth, that can beget many

other sins.


          If ever we have to be angry, let’s try our best to be angry

in the spirit of Christ who showed anger over the self-righteous

Pharisees and scribes, and over those who turned the temple area into

a market place. Christ’s anger is what is called righteous anger, one

that is done always in charity and in the truth, and not just due to

opinions and biases. It’s an anger that is meant to correct, purify,

heal.


          Besides, Christ’s anger is only momentary. It does not last

long. As a psalm would put it, “his anger lasts only a moment, but his

favor lasts a lifetime. Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing

comes in the morning.” (30,5) He is slow to anger, and quick to

forgive. We need to have a strong grip over this particular emotion.


          But more importantly, the gospel episode referred to here

reminds us that we should develop a great love for the Church not only

in her physical dimension as in her buildings and all the materials

used in her liturgical celebration, which is already a tall order, but

more so in her real essence as the very Mystical Body of Christ and

the very People of God.


          We need to be more conscious and skillful in our Christian

duty to love the Church. This cannot be taken for granted anymore,

especially these days when the world is developing in a very rapid

pace that often leaves behind our spiritual and religious

responsibilities.


          The Church is nothing other than the people of the God,

gathered together at the cost of his own life on the cross by Christ.

This is because we from the beginning are meant to be God’s people,

members of his family, partakers of his divine life.


          We have to understand that this gathering of the people of

God is not achieved merely by some political, social or economic

maneuverings. It is a gathering that is described as “communion,”

where our heart and mind work in sync with the mind and will of God.


          It is a communion where the love of God for us is

corresponded to by our love for him. And this is done not only

individually by each one of us, but also collectively, all of us

together in an organic way. Thus, we need to help one another in this

common, universal concern.


* Chaplain Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise (CITE), Talamban, Cebu City

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com



Wednesday, August 11, 2021

IS ANGER BAD?

One should not lose one's temper unless one is certain of getting more and more angry to the end. Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret. Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame. There are hundreds of quotations. Not all are very helpful.


Have you ever been really angry? I was. And that's okay.


We all hear a lot about letting go of anger, curbing our temper, and learning anger management techniques. On the spiritual path, sages and gurus remind us that everyone and everything is to be forgiven and that peace and tranquility is what we all need to strive for. Anger is deemed counterproductive, useless or even destructive to our spiritual well-being and happiness. It is considered a “negative emotion” that we should reject in others and deny in ourselves. With such advice, it is no wonder that most of us shrink with guilt after our feathers get ruffled and we speak out in anger at someone we love.


Well,  in truth, a little anger is good and has a function that benefits human consciousness. Used positively, anger makes us healthy, wealthy and wise and is one key to happiness. As you read this my dear readers, I can see your incredulous faces and your eyes wide open.


When we feel angry about a situation we are facing or at a person who is challenging us in some way, our anger is a signal and warning that something is out of balance. As a warning, anger saves us the grief of sitting still and doing nothing about a situation or when circumstances require a positive change. 


By witnessing and understanding anger in others we can see how destructive it can be, but we can also see its merits in many situations. I learned that anger turned to passion helps me achieve my dreams and even how it can champion the lives of others. At least that's how it was for me in the past. Anger teaches us to develop a stronger personality so that we succeed in life and develop spiritual muscles to truly contribute something meaningful to the world.


Maybe, you are under a verbal attack: believe me,  a healthy response is anger. Rather than cowering in fear or retracting and feeling even more vulnerable, a little anger can push to yell out a resounding “Stop”. Remember, I said little anger.


Believe me, the  "I don't care attitude" is not always the right decision. "Bahala na - bahala -ka"? When we get riled up when confronted with circumstances that just seem unfair, our anger moves us deeply and points out what matters most to us. 


If you stop to think about it, anger has likely been the great motivator of change in your life. Maybe you finally ended a toxic relationship after years of putting up with someone who discouraged you or who even abused you. You probably were angry with yourself for putting up with their remarks for so long, clinging to them hoping they would change. When you finally were fed up enough to let your anger win, it gave you the potent power of courage to end it. Only when we get mad enough to change the direction of our lives can we earn self-respect.


Allow me to mention the following in 2014 published story: A 2005 study by professor of psychology, Jennifer Lerner, at Carnegie Mellon University, showed that people who responded to stress producing situations with short-term anger possessed a sense of control and optimism that was lacking with those who responded with fear. The more fear individuals in the study displayed in response to the stressors, the higher their biological responses to stress. “By contrast, the more anger and indignation individuals displayed in response to the same stressors, the lower their responses,” said Lerner. Just about everyone knows a little temper tantrum can be invigorating and a relief. But anger can be deadly when it is simmers over time and no steam is allowed to escape.


Anger is in itself neither good nor bad—it's what you do with it that matters. ... Research overwhelmingly indicates that feeling angry increases optimism, creativity, effective performance—and research suggests that expressing anger can lead to more successful negotiations, in life or on the job.


Monday, June 25, 2018

Roused to anger?



My column in

Mindanao Daily

HAVE MY SAY
By KLAUS DORING
ANGER. A day rarely goes by without us feeling angry. It is not necessary to cite examples. Sometimes, it's just a minor reason like we hate the fly at the wall. Sometimes anger has important reasons.
Anger seems to become main part in our daily life. That's why it is really important to talk (again?) about this phenomenon. As I said, anger is one of the most basic emotions. Everyone can really get angry. If someone told you, he won't get angry, better don't believe him.
Anger is a terrible feeling of being against something or someone. It can be my neighbor, because he is still (!) burning poisonous plastic and rubber garbage. Many of us get angry observing some politicians during those days worldwide.
Anger is a hostile emotion that sets people against one and another, or even against themselves. By its nature, anger involves opposition, hostility, hatred and dislike. Anger, however, is simpler to define that to identify. Emotions of antagonism can take a wider variety of faces. Expressions of anger range from the overt, in-your-face brand of open hostility to the cold indifference of a silent individual.
Anger at the workplace is becoming very common nowadays.
One of my good friends works as stewardess. Imagine yourself 35,000 feet up, pushing a trolley down a narrow aisle surrounded by restless passengers. A toddler is blocking your path, his parents not immediately visible. A passenger is irritated that he can no longer pay cash for an in-flight meal, another is demanding to be allowed past to use the toilet. And your job is to meet all of their needs with the same show of friendly willingness. For a cabin crew member, this is when emotional labor kicks in at work.
A term first coined by sociologist Arlie Hochschild, it’s the work we do to regulate our emotions to create “a publicly visible facial and bodily display within the workplace”.
At times, anger can be felt like an inner fire. It hits you in the gut. You see red and feel hot and maybe sweaty. Your stomach gives you problems, our blood pressure rises, and breathing rate increases. Not only neighbors or politicians are the reason of anger. The silent withdrawal and lack of understanding and innumerable shortcomings of a partner or in the family are often an indication that one is angrily punishing the other for not doing things his or her way.
Back to the workplace: unhelpful attitudes such as ‘I’m not good enough’ may lead to thinking patterns in the workplace such as ‘No-one else is working as hard as I seem to be’ or ‘I must do a perfect job’, and can initiate and maintain high levels of workplace anxiety.
When research into emotional labor first began, it focused on the service industry with the underlying presumption that the more client or customer interaction you had, the more emotional labor was needed.
However, more recently psychologists have expanded their focus to other professions and found burnout can relate more closely to how employees manage their emotions during interactions, rather than the volume of interactions themselves. Perhaps just only today you turned to a colleague to convey interest in what they said, or had to work hard not to rise to criticism. It may have been that biting your lip rather than expressing feeling hurt was particularly demanding of your inner resource.
But in some cases maintaining the façade can become too much, and the toll is cumulative.
In another friend's last position, the “customer was king”. She was working in a shopping mall. Many times, she got a tirade of abuse from several customers. “When I explained what happened to my senior, I was told I must have said or done something to warrant this response… I was then told I should go and apologize.” Yes, that's how it is!
As I stated earlier: Minor things could become the start of anger. Over the years, handling the stress caused by suppressing one's emotions became much harder. Small things seemed huge, we easily dreaded going to work and anxiety escalated.
Across the globe, employees in many professions are expected to embrace a work culture that requires the outward display of particular emotions – these can including ambition, aggression and a hunger for success.
The way we handle emotional labor can be categorized in two ways – surface acting and deep acting.
A few years ago, the New York Times wrote a “lengthy piece about the “Amazon Way”, describing very specific and exacting behaviour the retail company required of its employees and the effects, both positive and negative, that this had on some of them. While some appeared to thrive in the environment, others struggled with constant pressure to show the correct corporate face.
“How we cope with high levels of emotional labour likely has its origins in childhood experience, which shapes the attitudes we develop about ourselves, others and the world,” says clinical and occupational psychologist Lucy Leonard.
“Unhelpful attitudes such as ‘I’m not good enough’ may lead to thinking patterns in the workplace such as ‘No-one else is working as hard as I seem to be’ or ‘I must do a perfect job”, and can initiate and maintain high levels of workplace anxiety,” says Leonard.
Workers are often expected to provide good service to people expressing anger or anxiety – and may have to do this while feeling frustrated, worried or offended themselves.
Take the example of a particularly tough phone call. If you are surface acting you respond to the caller by altering your outward expression, saying the appropriate things, listening while keeping your actual feelings entirely intact. With deep acting you make a deliberate effort to change your real feelings to tap in to what the person is saying – you may not agree with the manner of it but appreciate the aim.
Both could be thought of as just being polite but the latter approach – trying to emotionally connect with another person’s point of view – is associated with a lower risk of burnout. Good thing: many offices over the last decade have created recreational or rest spaces in a bid to mitigate employee stress.
When things get tough, you might be very lucky talking to colleagues to unload. “It’s the saying it out loud that allows me to test and validate my own reaction. I can then go back to the person concerned,” one of my former office mates in Germany explained many years ago.
Those who report regularly having to display emotions at work that conflict with their own feelings are more likely to experience emotional exhaustion
Remaining true to your feelings appears to be key – numerous studies show those who report regularly having to display emotions at work that conflict with their own feelings are more likely to experience emotional exhaustion.
Of course, everybody needs to be professional at work and handling difficult clients and colleagues is often just part of the job. But what’s clear is that putting yourself in their shoes and trying to understand their position is ultimately of greater benefit to your own well-being than voicing sentiments that, deep down, you don’t believe.
Where it is possible, workers should be truly empathetic, be aware of the impact the interaction is having on them and try to communicate in an authentic way. Easy to say, yes, I know. But let's give a try!

Thursday, October 19, 2017

Come on, give me a smile!

Come on, give me a smile!

IN MY OPINIONKlaus Doring
I am writing columns for several papers from all over the world since the early 1980's. Sometimes, while writing, I am indeed not in a good mood. I rewrite and rewrite – and then the moment comes, I am asking myself: “Do the readers of this publication really like to read my columns?”
Anyway, I try my best. It’s actually a sweet day today, so sunny, so calm, so bright, it’s like the bridal of earth and heaven.  The grandeur  of  God flames out like shining from shook foil. I feel like as the waves make towards the pebbled  shore.
I observed again a multinational couple somewhere in my neighborhood fighting each other. Gosh. Stupid people have an uncanny way of hitting the right nail on the head with the wrong hammer!
Maybe, you are angry also right now, while reading this. You are angry for others even it’s a beautiful day. You are angry? It’s okay. We are all battling against one of the most powerful emotions known to man – anger! Anger. A day rarely goes by without us feeling angry. Or,  maybe seldom a days goes by without feeling anger….
Anger is the main part of our daily life. That’s why it’s really important to talk about this phenomenon. What is anger, what does it do and how does it affect our lives? Where does it come from and how can we learn to handle it in a constructive instead of destructive way? Only, if the roots of our anger exposed and explained, we can defuse its explosive and dangerous potentials.
As I said earlier, anger is one of the most basic emotions. Everyone can get angry. You and me? Now, later, tomorrow…! It’s a feeling of being against something or someone.
Anger is a hostile emotion that sets people against one another, or even themselves. By its nature, anger involves opposition, hostility, hatred and dislike. It happened between Filipinos, and between Filipinos and foreigners as well, living here in the Philippines. It even happened at political level right nowadays.
Anger, however, is simpler to define than to identify. Emotions of antagonism can take a wide variety of faces. Expressions of anger range from the overt, in-your-face brand of open hospitality to the cold indifference of a silent individual. At times, anger can be felt like an inner fire….
Millions of defense, not a damned penny for tribute, as Charles Pinkney stated…. Anger between people: the one side remains cold as ice while the opposite plays meek as a lamb. Sige, burn the midnight oil! And what the result at the end? A shadow of doubts remains after each fight getting its origin out of anger.
The silent withdrawal and lack of understanding  and innumerable shortcomings of one or both partners are often an indication that one is angrily punishing the other for not doing things his or her way.
We are all selfish! Yes, me too! That’s why we see the cause of anger as something outside of ourselves. Life is unfair! Life is hard!