Love and marriage

My column in Mindanao Daily and Businessweek Mindanao

I am old-fashioned. Since many decades, I love collecting old magazine and news paper clippings. Can you imagine how my two offices look like? 

Anyway, in a very old issue of PHILADELPHIA NEWS, columnist Larry Fields confessed: "I lead a life of wine, women and song (by the way, a wonderful waltz of the Austrian Johann Strauss!) - it's cheaper than petrol, food and rent!"

Is LOVE just an expression? Or love and marriage?

Some marriages are made in heaven. You know some? I do. The best of the rest is just simply down-to-earth. Maybe also yours? I am blessed and happy celebrating soon my 36th wedding anniversary this coming March 2019... .

Maybe, my dear readers, you remember this, "Then the prince swept the lovely young maiden into his arms and carried her home to his castle. And they live happily ever after!" Indeed, they did. Meanwhile, I met several couples, who would say: happily never after!

What I would like to see is an autonomous in home affairs study of all these title of nobility bearers seven years after their happily-ever-after marriages. Or even earlier, because the so-called darned and tricky seventh marriage year could be even the first one already.

The truth is that life isn't made up of the continual highs found in the initial stages of courtship. Of course, flirting is fun and a wide groove existing. But after a while our system needs a rest. Unanimously, we're in the second stage sooner or later and our marriage life needs badly a new outside coating.

All of a sudden, the partner prefers day and night watching all the sports channels, falls asleep while you're revealing your innermost secrets and even forgets the anniversary for the first or even second time . Just bear in mind: You've won each other's acceptance  and sometimes even feelings terrible gloomy. This acceptance shouldn't be undervalued.

Even we see a house that has to be cleaned, many other things have to be organized, and the partner, who looks as fatigued and bored as you feel. Logical question: "That's it? That WAS it?"

And suddenly, we experienced the third stage and learned, why it's worth the ups and downs. Maybe we men don't mention any more, how incredible she looks, but we enjoy bleating and grousing at her spending innumerable hours putting her together. But then, suddenly, we men are to unload the garbage without being asked for.

Although no marriage is continually blissful - it can be pretty good most of the time. When we lasted through arguments, money worries, and kid's problems or slowly but surely coming up mid-life crises, we should face reality that our relationship is not always a big day celebration.

It's because the fundamental  reason for a marriage has outlasted the craziness of day-to-day living: we love each other. That's MY idea of "Happily ever after, indeed!"

Valentine's Day is just around the corner. It should not be a reason or a sad excuse to bring flowers for our partner and invite her to an amazing lunch or hotel overnight stay. As I said, I am very much old fashioned. 

I love you!

Mindanao Daily Mirror

I LOVE YOU!

This week, it's time again for Valentine's Day. Expensive flowers, sweets, lunches, hotel overnight stays ... .

Do you know something about the legend of St. Valentine? The history of Valentine's Day – and the story of its patron saint – is indeed shrouded in mystery. We do know that February has long been celebrated as a month of romance, and that St. Valentine's Day, as we know it today, contains vestiges of both Christian and ancient Roman tradition.

From February 13 to 15, the Romans celebrated the feast of Lupercalia. ... Emperor Claudius II executed two men — both named Valentine — on Feb. 14 of different years in the 3rd century A.D. Their martyrdom was honored by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St. Valentine's Day.

Being married since almost 35 years now, Valentine's Day lets me always recall lovely moments from the past.

In a very old issue of PHILADELPHIA NEWS, which is still on my desk, columnist Larry Fields confessed: "I lead a life of wine, women and song (by the way, a wonderful waltz by the Austrian king of waltz Johann Strauss!) - it's cheaper than petrol, food and rent!"

Well, some marriages are mad in heaven. You know some? I do. The best of the rest are down-to-earth. Maybe also yours? I am blessed and happy celebrating my  wedding anniversary next month.

Maybe you remember this: "Then the prince swept the lovely young maiden into his arms and carried her home to his castle. And they live happily ever after!" Indeed, they did.

What I would like to see is an autonomous in home affairs study of all these title of nobility bearers seven years after their happily-ever-after marriages. or even earlier, because the so-called darned and tricky seventh marriage year could be even the first one already.

The truth is that life isn't made up of the continual highs found in the initial stages of courtship. Of course, flirting is fun and a wide groove existing. But after a while our system needs a rest. Unanimously we're in the second stage sooner or later and our marriage life needs badly a new outside coating.

All of a sudden, the partner prefers day and night watching all the sports channels, falls asleep while you're revealing your innermost secrets and even forgets the anniversary for the first or even second time . Just bear in mind: You've won each other's acceptance  and sometimes even feelings terrible gloomy. This acceptance shouldn't be undervalued.

Even we see a house that has to be cleaned, many other things have to be organized, and the partner, who looks as fatigued and bored as you feel. Logical question: "That's it? That WAS it?"

And suddenly, we experienced the third stage and learned, why it's worth the ups and downs. Maybe we men don't mention any more, how incredible she looks, but we enjoy bleating and grousing at her spending innumerable hours putting her together. But then, suddenly, we men are to unload the garbage without being asked for.

Although no marriage is continually blissful - it can be pretty good most of the time. When we lasted through arguments, money worries, and kid's problems or slowly but surely coming up mid-life crises, we should face reality that our relationship is not always a big day celebration.

It's because the fundamental  reason for a marriage has outlasted the craziness of day-to-day living: we love each other. That's MY idea of "Happily ever after, indeed!"

And one thing more: in my opinion, Valentine's Day shouldn't be only on February 14. It doesn't matter, if one is married or not.

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Email: doringklaus@gmail.com or follow me in Facebook, LinkedIn or Twitter or visit www.germanexpatinthephilippines.blogspot.com or www.klausdoringsclassicalmusic.blogspot.com .

In Love with Life?

In love with life?

Mindanao Daily News

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HAVE MY SAY
BY KLAUS DORING

SOMETIMES, we feel our life is turning miserably. Our negativism doesn’t allow us to keep our eyes, ears – and, most important! – our minds, hearts and souls opened. We’re reaching our breaking point.

This breaking point can be the prelude to our strongest moment. Can be! Must not! But if yes, then it is when we reach our breaking point, we discover our real strength. Allow me to ask you, my dear readers: “What happens to you or with you when you reach your breaking point?” Do you face it or do you run away? I’ll be giving you a very simple answer: If you face it – you break it. If you run away (and/or close your ears, eyes and mouth) – it breaks you!

Are you in love with life? No.

Everyday–a dull reality! Many of us will answer this question with a big YES! Actually, we do like to cover a newborn day already with grey veil. But, each day has a new face, but sometimes we don’t have the strength to watch its countenance. Of course, not every day has adventures and highlights. Would be really too easy!

Contrary to what might be expected, I look back on experiences that, at the same time, seemed especially desolating and painful with a particular satisfaction. Indeed, everything I have learned, everything that has truly enhanced and enlightened my existence, has been through affliction and not through happiness.

If it ever were to be possible to eliminate affliction from your earthly existence, the result would not make life delectable, but to make it too banal and trivial to be endurable.

By observation, we can feel that many of us need help to manage the everyday life. We need something that would keep us going as we journey through life. Many times we can also learn from other people and their experiences.

And here is one more thing: Affection is the humblest love – it gives itself no airs. It lives with humble and private things: soft slippers, old clothes, old jokes, and the thump of a sleepy dog’s tail on the kitchen floor. The glory of affection, the disposition of mind, the good will and tender attachment, that can unite those who are not “made for one and another!”

For me life has been a thing of ups and downs in approximately equal measure. I don’t have something sensational to report every day about my progress. Often, I wonder if fulfillment in life is necessarily tied to change for the better. But one thing is for sure: I keep staying in love with life.

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You can email me: doringklaus@gmail.com or follow me on Facebook or Twitter or visit one of my websites www. germanexpatinthephilippines.blogspot.com or www.klausdoringsclassicalmusic.blogspot.com.