You plan to move to the Philippines? Wollen Sie auf den Philippinen leben?

There are REALLY TONS of websites telling us how, why, maybe why not and when you'll be able to move to the Philippines. I only love to tell and explain some things "between the lines". Enjoy reading, be informed, have fun and be entertained too!

Ja, es gibt tonnenweise Webseiten, die Ihnen sagen wie, warum, vielleicht warum nicht und wann Sie am besten auf die Philippinen auswandern könnten. Ich möchte Ihnen in Zukunft "zwischen den Zeilen" einige zusätzlichen Dinge berichten und erzählen. Viel Spass beim Lesen und Gute Unterhaltung!


Visitors of germanexpatinthephilippines/Besucher dieser Webseite.Ich liebe meine Flaggensammlung!

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Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love. Show all posts

Monday, November 25, 2024

'Hello, Love, Again' becomes the first Filipino film to hit P1 B, earns P1.068 B in worldwide box office

The highest-grossing Filipino movie continues to make new records


AT A GLANCE

  • Now on its second week in cinemas worldwide, “Hello, Love, Again” has also started screening in Hong Kong and Macau. 

We love you a billion times artcard _ Hello, Love, Again.jpg

The record-breaking “Hello, Love, Again” movie led by Kathryn Bernardo and Alden Richards has earned P1.06 billion as of Nov. 23, becoming the first Filipino film to surpass the P1 billion mark at worldwide box office.

This latest milestone follows the film’s series of box office achievements, earning the biggest first-day ticket sales of P85 million last Nov. 13, achieving the highest single-day gross of P131 million last Nov. 16, breaking into the US Top 10 box office at no. 8, and becoming the highest-grossing Filipino movie of all time as of Nov. 22. 

Hello, Love, Again.jpg

Apart from its box office feats, the movie directed by Cathy Garcia-Sampana and produced by ABS-CBN’s Star Cinema and GMA Pictures also served as the closing film at the recently concluded Asian World Film Festival held in Los Angeles, California.

Now on its second week in cinemas worldwide, “Hello, Love, Again” has also started screening in Hong Kong and Macau.

Kathryn Bernardo and Alden Richards.jpg


It also has ongoing screenings in more European territories, including Austria, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Malta, Spain, The Netherlands, and the UK.

“Hello, Love, Again” is exclusively available in cinemas worldwide. For more details, follow Star Cinema on FacebookX (formerly Twitter)InstagramYouTube, and TikTok.

Wednesday, November 20, 2024

'Hello, Love, Again' sets single day box office record, to donate some proceeds to typhoon victim


Kathryn Bernardo, Cathy Garcia-Sampana and Alden Richards during the red carpet premiere of "Hello Love Again" on Nov. 12, 2024 in SM Megamall

Kristofer Purnell - Philstar.com

November 20, 2024 | 9:51am


MANILA, Philippines — "Hello, Love, Again" starring Kathryn Bernardo and Alden Richards, continue to break box office records less than a week since its global premiere.

The sequel initially set the record for the biggest opening day by a Filipino film at P85 million then became the highest-grossing for a Filipino film in North America with $2.4 million (almost P141 million).

For comparison, the 2019 original also directed by Cathy Garcia-Sampana earned $1.99 million (P116.7 million) during its entire North American run.

The film earned P245 million on its first three days in the Philippines en route to earning P566 million as of November 18.

The current box office earnings include P131 million from Saturday alone, yet another box office record.

It is on track to become the highest-grossing Filipino film of all time, currently held by last year's "Rewind" starring Marian Rivera and Dingdong Dantes, which claimed the title from the 2019 original "Hello, Love, Goodbye."

"We're so blessed because binigyan ng mga tao ng chance 'yung pelikula namin at lahat ng nare-receive namin. Wala na kaming mahihiling pa," said Kathryn.

Alden added as he expressed his thanks to supporters, "No words can express how grateful we are for the turnout and we're very happy na maraming naka-appreciate nito."

Part of the proceeds of "Hello, Love, Again" will go toward helping the victims of Typhoon Pepito, which passed through the Philippines over the weekend.

Kathryn and Alden will also represent the film as it closes the Asian World Film Festival in Los Angeles.

"Hello, Love Again" continues to screen in the Philippines and North America, and later this week opens in five countries in the Middle East — where a huge population of Filipino migrant workers may boost ticket sales even further.

Saturday, May 13, 2023

Love, commandments, truth


By Fr. Roy Cimagala

Chaplain

Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise (CITE)

Talamban, Cebu City

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com


WE need to know the intimate relation among this triad. Christ said it very clearly, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” (Jn 14,15) And more than that, he also said that it is when we love him by following his commandments that the Spirit of truth would be with us and would lead us to the truth.


This is what he said: “I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always, the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot accept, because it neither sees nor knows him. But you know him, because he remains with you, and will be in you. (Jn 14,16-17)


It is important that we meditate on these words of Christ very closely if only to understand the relation of how love of Christ is achieved by keeping his commandments and how that love can lead us to the truth that nowadays is being twisted and distorted according to one’s whims and caprices, one’s biases and prejudices, creating all sorts of spins and narratives to suit one’s interest at the expense of truth itself.


This distortion of truth is most especially noticed nowadays in the fields of politics, journalism, and even in the sciences, philosophies and ideologies. Even open, unmitigated lies are peddled, and done with so much self-confidence and aplomb that it would seem that the devil, the father of lies, is having a heyday.


Many people nowadays just say and write, opine and claim or proclaim something with hardly any regard to our duty to check things with Christ first. They seem convinced that God has nothing to do with whatever they would be saying or claiming.


As a result, in spite of the powerful means of communication we are having, what we are having are more and worsening differences and conflicts. Instead of unity, we have graver division. Instead of generating more understanding and charity, we have growing cases of anger and hatred.


We need to remind ourselves strongly that we can only manage to achieve real love for God and for one another, and to be in the truth, when we truly follow and love Christ. We should dismiss any thought that tells us that we can manage to have them outside of Christ.


These days, it’s clear that the pressure to just say and write with hardly any reference to Christ is quite strong and seemingly irresistible. But we should just fight against that tendency.


With Christ, not only would we be in the truth. We would also be charitable, knowing when and how to say or assert anything. We have to be reminded that for truth to be real truth, it has to be charitable. Truth and charity always go together, though we should not understand charity as simply being sugary and always pleasing. Charity can have a bitter taste too.


And to be in the truth does not mean that we only use facts and data. Christ used many literary devices like parables, similes, metaphors, hyperboles and oxymorons to proclaim the truth. These literary devices were not meant to deceive us. They were not lies.


We too can use these literary devices but they should always be inspired by the spirit of Christ, for that can only assure us that these devices would point us to the truth. Again, let us realize more deeply the close and indispensable relation among love, the commandments of Christ, and the Spirit of truth.



Sunday, December 25, 2022

Let love prevail this Christmas — Marcos

Published December 25, 2022, 5:00 AM

by Argyll Cyrus Geducos

“I wish everyone a Christmas full of love, compassion, and hopeful beginnings.”

As Christians worldwide celebrate Christmas, President Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr. hoped that Filipinos would let love, compassion, and hope prevail during this festive celebration despite the obstacles they faced over the past few years. 

Malacañang photo

In his Christmas message, the President said that the celebration of Christmas may have evolved over the years, but love remains the essence of the said holiday.

“The story of Christ’s birth has become an integral part of our culture, and every year, we have become more accustomed to commemorating this day with gatherings, thanksgiving, and merrymaking,” he said.

“No matter the evolution of its observance, it is imperative that we emphasize the true essence of this holiday—love,” he added.

According to Marcos, love is the one that makes Christmas more than just a tradition, not only for Christians but for other beliefs as well.

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“It is this pure and simple love that Christmas represents—the same one that we constantly desire and need—that allows it to be more than just a Christian tradition,” he said.

“Across beliefs, all the generosity and goodwill stirred in this season are welcomed. Surely, embracing these will help us overcome the difficulties brought [on] by the pandemic and other challenges,” he added.

President Marcos hoped that all Filipinos could celebrate Christmas, even in their own little ways.

“Let our spirits not dwell on the adornments that we display, on the buzz and activities we create, nor the lack thereof. Instead, let us partake in this holiday with the same simplicity, sense, and meaning that we got from it,” he said.

“Let us freely offer our smiles, share a conversation, or impart wisdom to our peers, our loved ones, and even strangers. Let our affection be known and felt in the simplest of ways so that the eternal message of the Nativity of Christ may again spark hope for a brighter future in the hearts of all,” he added.

 

Saturday, December 3, 2022

Christmas is about love, forgiveness — VP Sara

by Joseph Pedrajas


It is not important if the Christmas celebration is big or fancy because the season is, in fact, about spending time with your loved ones and giving forgiveness, Vice President Sara Duterte said.

At the ceremonial lighting of a 42-foot Christmas tree in Laguna on Thursday night, Duterte also said what is important in celebrating Christmas is that “we, our loved ones and our family are happy and we forgive those who have wronged us.” 

Photo courtesy of VP Sara Duterte

“Yan talaga yung tema ng pasko— pagmamahal, pagpapatawad, pagbibigay, (That’s the theme of Christmas—love, forgiveness, giving) kindness,” she said.

“‘Yan din yung message natin sa ating mga kababayan dahil ang pananawagan natin ay unity kaya meron ding kalakip yon ng pagpapatawad hindi lang sa pulitika but even sa personal lives natin (That’s also my message to my fellow: the call for unity because it also entails forgiveness not only in the area of politics but also in our personal lives)— working together with our neighbors, with our officemates, with our family,” she added in an eventual interview with reporters.

The Vice President then thanked Laguna residents for supporting her and President Ferdinand Marcos Jr. during the elections as well as for supporting her father, former President Rodrigo Duterte.

As chief of the Department of Education, she also called on the parents to instill the value of education to their children.

Tuesday, October 25, 2022

Love makes little things great




By Fr. Roy Cimagala *



MAKE no mistake about it. As long as things are done with love, no matter how small, ordinary and mundane they are, they can be transformed into something great, even to the extent of acquiring a supernatural, divine value. Indeed, the greatness of divine life offered to us can be found and developed in the little, ordinary things that comprise the major part of our earthly life.


This after hearing clearly what Christ said: “What is the Kingdom of God like? To what can I compare it? It is like a mustard seed that a man took and planted in the garden. When it was fully grown, it became a large bush and ‘the birds of the sky dwelt in its branches.'” (Lk 13,18-19)


Reiterating the same idea, he continued to say: “To what shall I compare the Kingdom of God? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with three measures of wheat flour until the whole batch of dough was leavened.” (Lk 13,20-21)


Yes, heaven can be reached and experienced to a certain extent even while here on earth when we do things with love, that is, when we offer them to God who loves us first and expects us to love him in return. The secret is to join in the dynamic of divine love that God offers us, as shown to us and shared with us by Christ himself.


We have to be most wary of our common tendency to do things just to meet our own interests and to satisfy our own personal desires that have nothing to do with God or making God only as a prop, a disguise. In other words, when we would fall and get trapped in our own world of self-indulgence.


We might appear to be doing good, but unless they are done with true love, with true self-giving that is inspired by God’s love and that leads us to it as well, that good is at best only apparent. At its worst, they are a danger, a sweet poison. Sooner or later, the bad effects and consequences of that apparent good would appear. We would get spoiled, we hardly can go the distance, we would be prone to hypocrisy.


We really need to continually rectify and purify our intention in whatever we do. We should see to it that we do them with true love, never afraid of whatever cost and sacrifices may be involved, knowing that doing things with true love will always give us joy, peace and perseverance. We are never short-changed when things are done with love.


Of course, doing things with true love would require effort and sacrifice, especially considering our weakened and wounded condition here on earth. It would require sincerity in all our actions, always guarded against the tendency to project certain appearances and images without the proper substance and spirit of love.


Given the many developments of our times that can easily lend themselves to the dangers of hypocrisy, inconsistency and the like, we have to continually examine our conscience to see if we are still driven by true love or are falling already into the clutches of hypocrisy, etc.


We can always know that we are motivated by true love because we would always feel happy and secure, and always motivated and zealous even if we encounter problems and difficulties along the way. That’s when we can already have some traces at least of the Kingdom of God here on earth.


* Chaplain Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise (CITE), Talamban, Cebu City

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com


Monday, September 5, 2022

The way to know and love properly


 


By Fr. Roy Cimagala *



SINCE God is the creator of all things, and the original and ultimate lawgiver, he should know all things and love them in the proper way. As a corollary to that, we can also say that we can only know and love all things properly if we base our knowing and loving on God himself. Otherwise, we would just put ourselves along the paths of error and impropriety.


Somehow we are reminded of this point in that gospel episode where the leading Jews of the time of Christ were always suspicious of him and at one time watched if he would cure somebody with a withered hand on a Sabbath. (cfr. Lk 6,6-11) That was when Christ made his point when he asked: “Is it lawful to do good on the sabbath rather than to do evil, to save life rather than to destroy it?”


We have to realize then that we cannot simply depend on our human estimation of things based simply on our sciences and technologies, on our feelings and passions, on our different social, political and cultural consensus, etc., though they too are important, but as secondary means of our way of knowing the truth and of loving everyone and everything.


We should try our best to know God which should lead us to love him also. By so doing, we would know everybody and everything else properly and to love them properly as well, as a consequence.


And knowing and loving God, the pattern of our own knowing and loving, should not be that difficult because these have been shown to us by Christ, the fullness of God’s revelation to us. And Christ continues not only to reveal them to us but also to enable us to do them because of the many instrumentalities he has left behind.


He founded the Church in which we can have his living teaching, the doctrine of our faith, his presence and continuing work of redemption through the sacraments, especially the Holy Eucharist. And we are helped by the effective witness and intercession of the saints, especially that of our Lady, the Mother of God and our Mother.


We should just do our part of sitting down and spending time and effort to study the life and teaching of Christ and of the Church, and to develop a working plan of a life of piety that would help us to nourish our relation with God through prayers and sacrifices, ascetical struggles, recourse to the sacraments, development of virtues, etc.


We have to remember that our life ought to be always a life with God through Christ in the Holy Spirit. We have to adapt ourselves to this basic truth of faith about ourselves, because we are notorious in believing that our life is simply our own, and relying only on our own estimation of things.


We really need to humble ourselves to accept this truth of our faith, because it is usually our pride that prevents us from realizing this truth. We need to work on our faith in order to keep it alive, vibrant and functional, especially in some difficult if not impossible occasions. 


We should not be surprised that life and all the challenges and trials we are going to face in it will always demand from us things beyond our powers and resources. And that’s simply because we are meant to go to God for all our needs, without neglecting any effort we can give along the way.


Only through God can we know and love everybody and everything else properly.


* Chaplain Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise (CITE),Talamban, Cebu City

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com


Sunday, June 12, 2022

SHOPPING OR LOVE AND CARE?

Plastic money (or better known as credit cards), loneliness, and advertising - that's a dangerous mixture, owing to more and more people falling straight into shopping ecstasy.


Yesterday was Thursday again, the sunbeam touched us too much outside, the heat maybe too much too.  We were on the way to a shopping mall. Yes, they are really tempting us with their offers. The credit cards of many people glowed - everyone is all right for the money.


We don't need decent clothes any more! Our shoes make us a laughing-stock. Top stylish or even the latest fashion for a few pesos, sure, we can afford it!


Women especially (really?) arrange to meet very often for substantial shopping sprees. It's just fun, but sometimes it becomes a competition: Who gets hold of the most stylish and best special offers? It's paradoxical; actually they are not able to afford it. In spite of their strained financial situation, many people do unnecessary free-living shopping. They feel happy, content, satisfied, and relaxed.


Is shopping a substitutive or vicarious satisfaction because of less love and care? Yes, for a short moment shopping satisfies and eases mostly unfulfilled longings for love, appreciation, receiving attention and affection.


The shopping ecstasy will be followed by a happiness-intoxication. The new dress becomes a four-leaf clover and a lucky break. But, we became addicted... .


Disastrous, unlucky and awkward in shopping is that the special offers are not really needed. That's the point: it's just a kick-down which can be felt while shopping for useless things. Clothes, shoes, jewelry, or cosmetics will be used just once or once in a while, they will be cleared or concealed and hidden from other people. Our conscience is pricking us. Depression follows, an empty inwardness causes pain - up to the next ecstasy!


It's a dangerous vicious circle, which can bring us to a financial precipice. For a long time experts have warned: "The limits between pleasure, desire, frustration, and ecstasy shopping are fluent and fluid." I remember the lady yesterday "trying" to pay an amazing amount with three credit cards - always getting the cashier's "Excuse Ma-am, there is a problem with your credit card!". The lady went away by saying the wonderful sentence: "Okay lang, actually I don't need all this stuff!". Wow... .


Let me anticipate this: I don't want to mess up anybody's  shopping mall stroll. Not everybody buys a lot and is at the same time shopping-addicted. Boisterous and superfluous "reward-shopping" can be absolutely normal. Only a permanent recurring irresistible shopping compulsion needs an immediate action.


By the way: Love and care are emotions inherent in human beings. They are crucial in every relationship.  Care refers to a feeling of concern or interest or the act of attending to someone or something. Love, on the other hand, bears broader meaning.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

The forcefulness of love






By Fr. Roy Cimagala *


          IT’S true! Where there is love, there is also some kind of

forcefulness, an abiding state of being driven despite the variations

of our bodily and other earthly conditions. Where there is love, we

can only echo what Christ himself said: “I have come to set the earth

on fire, and how I wish it were already blazing!” (Lk 12,49)


          Where there is love, we would be clear about what the real

and ultimate purpose of our life is, we would have a good sense of

direction even if we are presented with many alternative options, we

would not mind the many difficulties and challenges we can encounter

as we go along. In fact, we would find great meaning in them.


          This is the ideal condition for all of us. Even if we are

endowed only with the most phlegmatic and melancholic temperaments,

something must be burning inside our heart that cannot help but burst

into a flame, a flame of love, of self-giving, of serving without

expecting any return, without counting the cost. If it is not yet

there, then let’s enkindle it.


          The secret is always that vital identification with Christ.

Of course, this condition, this requirement is quite tough to meet,

but if we would just try and try again as often as necessary,

certainly the ideal effect would just come about. On the part of

Christ, we cannot doubt that he is all there for us, all there for the

taking.


          What can always help is that we avoid getting imprisoned in

our own world and allow ourselves to simply be at the mercy of the

state of our physical, emotional and mental condition. With our

spiritual faculties of intelligence and will, plus of course God’s

grace that will always be made abundantly available, we can transcend

beyond these constraining elements.


          So we just have to use everything within our power to attain

that ideal state of being always on the go, dynamic, eager to serve

and to do things for everyone. We may have our limitations, and we can

commit mistakes, yet we cannot deny that everything is already given

for us to be how we should be in our earthly life. And that is to be

like Christ, whose only desire is to love all of us.


          We actually cannot avoid using some forcefulness. Even with

our own selves, we have to use it, because if not then we would be

totally dominated by our laziness, softness, fears, doubts. Right at

the start of the day, when we have to get up, we have to use force,

and that little daily task can require heroic efforts, both mental and

physical.


          It´s true that as we age, our physical strength can wane,

but not the power of the mind nor of the will. In these latter two

faculties, which are our spiritual powers, there´s no such thing as

aging, unless we entirely submit them to the law of our physical life.

Especially with the grace of God, they can go on gaining strength,

scope and depth.


          So in theory, because of our spiritual nature, we can go on

living and loving. This is the natural basis for our immortality, that

capacity to continue living even after our death. But since we are a

unity of body and soul, of something material and spiritual, we always

experience a certain tension within ourselves which we try to bear by

using some forcefulness.


          But when we have true love, we can handle that predicament

well. Love has its inherent forcefulness.


* Chaplain Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise (CITE), Talamban, Cebu City

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com


Wednesday, September 15, 2021

LOVE, MARRIAGE AND MORE

My column in Mindanao Daily and BusinessWeek Mindanao 


OPINION
By KLAUS DORING
 September 14, 2021

I am old-fashioned. For many decades, I have loved collecting old magazine and newspaper clippings. Can you imagine what my two offices look like?

Anyway, in a very old issue of PHILADELPHIA NEWS from 1999,  then columnist Larry Fields confessed: "I lead a life of wine, women and song (by the way, a wonderful waltz of the Austrian Johann Strauss!) - it's cheaper than petrol, food and rent!"

Is LOVE just an expression? Or love and marriage?

Some marriages are made in heaven. You know some? I do. The best of the rest is just simply down-to-earth. Maybe also yours? I am blessed and happy to celebrate my 39th wedding anniversary very soon... .

Maybe, my dear readers, you remember this, "Then the prince swept the lovely young maiden into his arms and carried her home to his castle. And they live happily ever after!" Indeed, they did. Meanwhile, I met several couples, who would say: happily never after!

What I would like to see is an autonomous in home affairs study of all these titles of nobility bearers seven years after their happily-ever-after marriages. Or even earlier, because the so-called darned and tricky seventh marriage year could be even the first one already.

The truth is that life isn't made up of the continual highs found in the initial stages of courtship. Of course, flirting is fun and a wide groove exists. But after a while our system needs a rest. Unanimously, we're in the second stage sooner or later and our marriage life badly needs a new outside coating.

All of a sudden, the partner prefers day and night watching all the sports channels, falls asleep while you're revealing your innermost secrets and even forgets the anniversary for the first or even second time . Just bear in mind: You've won each other's acceptance  and sometimes even feel terribly gloomy. This acceptance shouldn't be undervalued.

Even we see a house that has to be cleaned, many other things have to be organized, and the partner, who looks as fatigued and bored as you feel. Logical question: "That's it? That WAS it?"

And suddenly, we experienced the third stage and learned why it's worth the ups and downs. Maybe we men don't mention any more, how incredible she looks, but we enjoy bleating and grousing at her spending innumerable hours putting her together. But then, suddenly, we men unload the garbage without being asked for it.

Although no marriage is continually blissful - it can be pretty good most of the time. When we last through arguments, money worries, and kid's problems or slowly but surely coming up mid-life crises, we should face reality that our relationship is not always a big day celebration.

It's because the fundamental  reason for a marriage has outlasted the craziness of day-to-day living: we love each other. That's MY idea of "Happily ever after, indeed!"

Valentine's Day is not around the corner. No guys, don't worry! And by the way, this one and only day  should not be a reason or a sad excuse to bring flowers for our partner and invite her to an amazing lunch or hotel overnight stay. As I said, I am very much old fashioned.

Wednesday, June 2, 2021

An intoxicating love

 

US musician and author Ted Gioia argues in his excellent book Music: A Subversive History (2019): "At every stage in human history, music has been a catalyst for change, challenging conventions and conveying coded messages – or, not infrequently, delivering blunt, unambiguous ones. It has given voice to individuals and groups denied access to other platforms for expression. Pop music has often been dismissed as "lightweight" given its young audience, simple snappiness and mainstream status, but those elements are really where its strength is concealed. Pop songs don't originate themes of mental wellbeing, equality, liberty, activism – but they do transmit them to the broadest platforms possible".
    
Snap the radio on, zip to any station, and what are you likely to hear? Love songs. Songs of new love, songs of disappointed love, songs of grateful love, songs of crazy love. I still remember my time as a radio host in Davao City several years ago playing the Hits of the 60's, 70's and 80's. Nothing has changed. Times change, but through history the flow of love songs is a constant.
    
Plenty of people are surprised or even shocked to find an explicit love song in the bible - complete with erotic lyrics. But "Song of Songs" is exactly that. It shows no embarrassment about lovers. Consequently, intermittent attempts have been made  to rule "Song of Songs" out of the bible. It's like making it "for adults only". Imagine, my dear reader, in 16th century Spain for instance, professor Fray Luis de Leon was dragged out of his classroom and taken to jail for four years. His crime? He translated "Song of Songs" into Spanish.
    
If you start reading "Song of Songs", you will find out that this book conveys a very different atmosphere from most modern love songs and pop music. Since love songs are always popular, many people approach "Song of Songs" with great expectations. However, readers often find the book much different from what they had expected. One is the poetic imagery. Second: "Song of Songs" is hard to follow. One part  doesn't seem connected to the next.
    
Try to explore the "Song of Songs". One thing is for sure. You'll learn a lot about the love between God and His people.

Wednesday, March 10, 2021

WITH BEETHOVEN UNDER PALMS (VIII)

 A GERMAN EXPAT IN THE PHILIPPINES




Chapter VIII: Love at first sight?


My publisher informed me that I would be given more responsibility in the future. And a higher salary. More responsibility meant: manuscript editing, proofreading, layout arrangement, coordination with the printing company. I was really shocked. "Can you do this?" my publisher asked me. My answer was very simple, "Of course, Sir. I can"!

From time to time, I visited different stage plays and classical concerts on different occasions and stages as well as concerts halls in West-Berlin. I was fascinated by the Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra under the baton of legendary conductor Herbert von Karajan: Ludwig van Beethoven - George Bizet - Frederic Chopin - Evald Grieg. Awesome classical composers, their compositions often bring me to tears. Love at first sight? Yes, with so many classical composers. A joyous Mozart symphony or perhaps a gentle Bach suite that's closest to my heart or a majestic piano concerto by  Ludwig van Beethoven. And since I became a piano player, Chopin kept on fascinating me more and more. 

Although my job became very stressful, I didn't care. I enjoyed it. And I took several time outs while staying in Germany's wonderful nature. Inhale - exhale ... .

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And then the big day came. The flight from Berlin to Frankfurt, during that time by Pan America kept me still calm. It was similar to many of my business trips on behalf of my publisher due to several editorial meetings all over Germany.

When "Philippines Airlines boarding" in Frankfurt reached my ears, I really got somehow very nervous. Manila was different during that time in 1982. My pen friend there tried to convince me not to go to Davao City in Mindanao which was shaken by civil war during that time. "Davao City is killing fields!" My pen friend from Manila sounds really serious. I found myself back as a risk taker. 

In Davao City, Evelyn waited for me. She didn't become my love at first sight. It was a certain Rossana Balcom. A  teacher from the International Harvardian University and an ethnic dancer of the legendary Manisan Dancegroup Davao City.

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My penfriend in Zamboanga City waited for free. Before I went back to Germany, I and Rossana fianceed each other.

Overjoyed I flew back to Berlin - not knowing that some dramatic news awaited me - positive and negative.

(To be continued!)

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Before, behind, between, above, below love

My column in Mindanao Daily, BusinessWeek Mindanao and Cagayan de Oro Times

OUR whole life consists of innumerable fabulous and non-existing parts. We all carry myths into our life and bring our share of unrealistic expectations taught and shaped by education, media, church, and culture and our friends or parents. And? We all experienced it in different situations: suddenly these dreams give way to unhappy nights and terrible realistic mornings. Marriage life, i.e., loses it glow and ardor. Which sets in? Sure: foil, frustration, disillusionment, misanthropy, and many times cynicism become main parts of life.

Spouses  start thinking they may have made a big mistake and married the wrong partner. Some become fidgety and uncertain and - look for another, maybe "very special one", who might fulfill their faded hopes and uncertain dreams. Others rather than risk the temptation to look outside of he relationship for "fulfillment" , moving forward gradually deaden their hearts and deny the desire of something more. Bearing with patience becomes the goal of life. The dream of enjoyment fades into a faint glimmer of the past.

"Finally I got someone at my side who will meet my needs!". How many times we have these outspoken thoughts in mind? Sorry to say, many Filipinas got these thoughts after having met a foreigner... . This myth comes out of a self-centered preoccupation with a terrible egoistic touch.

But listen, didn't we forget, that marriage and every kind of dual partnership should be viewed as a "we-relation' and not as a "me-relation"? This myth explodes with the realization that a health partnership needs two understanding people, who are committed to be there for each other. There should NOT be two individuals seeking for self-fulfillment!

This and that... . It's not easy to write a weekly column in a daily, while many people and important events pass my path. The "Common Myths About Marriage" has to be continued, although they are are heavenly belong to my daily life thoughts.

Romantic feelings rely on a complicated concoction of chemicals and psychology. But as part of our series on Life’s Big Questions with The Conversation, we ask, can they wear off?

Author Parashkev Nachev wrote this on Valentines' Day 2020:  I have recently fallen head over heels in love, but my cynical friends keep telling me that love is nothing but a cocktail of pheromones, dopamine and oxytocin, and that these wear off after a couple of years. The thought scares me, it makes the whole thing seem meaningless. Is love really just brain chemistry? 

Before, behind, between, above, below love! It is no accident that arguably the most erotic line of English poetry is all prepositions. The essence of love, at least of passionately romantic love, is revealed in its very grammar. We “fall” in love, not “wander” into it. And, as you say, we fall “head over heels”, not dragging our feet – often at “first sight” rather than on careful inspection. We fall in love “madly, blind” to the other's vices, not in rational appraisal of their virtues.

Romantic love is overwhelming, irresistible, ballistic. It is in control of us more than we are ever in control of it. In one sense a mystery, it is in another pure simplicity – its course, once engaged, predictable and inevitable, and its cultural expression more or less uniform across time and space. The impulse to think of it in terms of simple causes precedes science. Consider the arrow of Cupid, the potion of a sorcerer – love seems elemental.

Yet love is not easily conquered by science. Let us look at why. Sex pheromones, chemicals designed to broadcast reproductive availability to others, are often quoted as key instruments of attraction. It is an appealing idea. But while pheromones play an important role in insect communication, there is very little evidence that they even exist in humans.

Of course, even if we could identify such a substance, any message – chemical or otherwise – needs a recipient. So where is the letterbox of love in the brain? And how is the identity of the “chosen one” conveyed, given that no single molecule could possibly encode it?

When romantic love is examined with imaging of the brain, the areas that “light up” overlap with those supporting reward-seeking and goal-oriented behavior. But that parts of our brains are set ablaze by one thing does not tell us much if they are just as excited by a very different, other thing. And the observed patterns of romantic love are not that different from those of maternal bonding, or even from the love of one's favorite football team. So we can only conclude that neuroscience is yet to explain this "head over heels" emotion in neural terms.

Do we simply need more experiments? Yes, is usually the scientist's answer, but this assumes love is simple enough to be captured by a mechanistic description. Each reproductive decision can be neither simple nor uniform, for we cannot be allowed to be guided by any single characteristic, let alone the same one. Universally attractive though tallness might be, if biology allowed us to select on height alone we would all have gigantism by now. And if the decisions have to be complex, so must the neural apparatus that makes them possible.

While this explains why romantic attraction must be complex, it doesn't explain why it can feel so instinctual and spontaneous – unlike the deliberative mode we reserve for our most important decisions. Wouldn't a cool, detached rationality be better? To see why it would not, consider what explicit reasoning is there in the first place. Evolving later than our instincts, we need rationality only to detach ourselves from the grounds for a decision so that others can record, understand and apply it independently of us.

But there is no need for anyone else to understand the grounds for our love, indeed the last thing we want to do is provide others with a recipe to steal our object of desire. Equally, in ceding control to recorded cultural practice, evolution would place too much "trust" in a capacity – collective rationality – that is, in evolutionary terms, far too young.

It is also a mistake to think of instinct as simple, and inferior to careful deliberation. That it is tacit makes it potentially more sophisticated than rational analysis, for it brings into play a wider array of factors than we could ever hold simultaneously in our conscious minds. The truth of this stares us in the face: think how much better we are at recognizing a face compared with describing it. Why should the recognition of love be any different?

Ultimately, if the neural mechanisms of love were simple, you should be able to induce it with an injection, to extinguish it with a scalpel while leaving everything else intact. The cold, hard logic of evolutionary biology makes this impossible. Were love not complicated, we would never have evolved in the first place.

That said, love – like all our thoughts, emotions and behaviors – rests on physical processes in the brain, a very complex interplay of them. But to say that love is "just" brain chemistry is like saying Romeo and Juliet is “just” words – it misses the point. Like art, love is more than the sum of its parts.

If the honeymoon is over, and the dark clouds if our daily life erase the pink-tinted illusions, must one faces such as: Where is the scratch on the side of my car? Why must we discuss topics like money, sex, in-laws, friends and such things...?