Why do all people find Asian women attractive?

 

Ronna Lou

 

Filipina Writer and Matchmaking Consultant at Philippine-Women.ComMay 15

Not all people find Asian women attractive. That’s just the truth.

I know that because I’m an Asian woman who grew up with a lot of insecurities. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy now and I know I’m beautiful (mostly because my husband always tells me) but I also can’t deny the reality that most Asian women like me have a complicated relationship with things like attractiveness and beauty.

First of all, attraction is subjective.

What is attractive to one man might not be the same to another. If one guy prefers dating Chinese or Indian or Filipino women, then there are other guys who like perky Americans or tall Europeans more. And that’s okay.

But when it comes global beauty standards, you don’t usually immediately think of Asian women.

Even among us Asians, there are different types of beauty. But what we’re not (at least not usually) is fair, blonde, or blue-eyed. And that’s often the “ideal” woman for a lot of people.

But we are attractive! Common Asian characteristics like long black hair, cute eyes, and brown complexion are also appealing to certain people. I just know it’s not for everybody, and that’s also okay.

(My husband will usually say it’s my charismatic personality that he finds most attractive about me, but that’s not really exclusively Asian, is it? Haha!)

What are some Filipino traditions?

 

Ronna Lou

 

Filipina Writer and Matchmaking Consultant at Philippine-Women.Com

What are some Filipino traditions?

As a Filipino, I grew up during a period when a lot of the traditions of our elders are slowly starting to get left behind. Here are some of the notable traditions I personally grew up with, and some that we were acquainted with in school:

• Po and Opo
• The words “po” and “opo” are examples of Filipino words that don’t have direct English translations. These words are used when talking with the elderly, or with someone of higher rank (student talking to a teacher, employee talking to employer, etc.) to express respect. Opo, I believe, is actually a contraction of Oo po, Oo meaning “yes”, and po added to express politeness. The tradition of using these words is still alive until today.
• Bayanihan
• The word Bayanihan, as we were taught in school, came from the word “bayan” which is the Filipino word for a collective group of people living in a particular place such as a town or province. Long ago, when our ancestors lived in huts (kubo, in Filipino) and wanted to relocate, the townsmen would gather and literally lift the hut for the owners. This notion of bayanihan is now taken into modern times as the spirit of togetherness, or of helping each other out whether you know them or not.
• Panliligaw at Panghaharana (Courtship and Serenading)
• In the olden times, being a couple in the Philippines was a big deal. The man would have to prove himself worthy of the woman’s affection before any sort of intimate relationship (so much as holding each other’s hands) is permitted by the parents. This is done by offering services to the woman’s family, such as gathering firewood, fetching buckets of water, or running errands. This goes on for months, if not years. Nowadays, even though the process of courtship has been relatively simplified, it still is a custom for a man to court a woman he is trying to woo for several months before they engage in a mutual relationship.
• Panghaharana or serenading is actually related to the old Filipino tradition of courtship. During the days of my grandparents, courtship involves serenading the woman in front of their house at night.

(I do not own the image)

It is said that the woman is supposed to look out the window only after several nights of being serenaded by the man. It also seems that the man who is trying to woo the woman usually brings along some of his friends to play the guitar or any other accompanying instruments while he sings. Kundiman, or traditional Filipino songs that are characterized by poetic and sweet lyricism, were used during panghaharana.

• Pagmamano
• In English, the word pagmamano is usually translated as “blessing.” I don’t know how accurate of a translation it is, though, but I grew up being taught of it. It is the act of taking one of an elderly’s hand, face down, and leading it onto one’s forehead. Again, this is a gesture of respect and is done by people usually to express respect for the elderly when leaving or entering a household. It is also a common gesture for religious people to perform the gesture when meeting religious leaders such as nuns or priests.

(Again, I do not own the photo).

• Fiestas (Feasts)
• Fiestas in the Philippines actually rooted from the Catholic religion. These events are conducted for every town, province, or patron saint, during their “feast days”. You’ll know that a place is celebrating its feast when you see banderitas hanging about the streets. These feasts often include a lot of food that are contributed by the different households of the place and shared among everyone, as well as games of various kinds.

(Photo not mine.)

• Extended Families
• Filipinos are very tightly-knit with their families. So much so that it is acceptable (and fairly common, might I add) for wedded couples to live with their parents, or even including their grandparents, uncles and aunts, and great grandparents. I personally grew up in this setting so you could take it from me. “Moving out” isn’t really and immediate action after finishing high school (or college, because a lot of Filipinos finish college after High School). Personally, I stay with my mom even though I’m a full grown man, not that it’s customary but because it makes economical sense (for me, at least, since I get a lot of free stuff from my mom).

These are just some of the most common and notable traditions I know from the Filipino people. There are a LOT more, I believe, since Filipinos indeed have a rich set of cultures and traditions. It’s sad, though, that modern times didn’t allow for a lot of them to survive.

Which Philippine destinations are most worth visiting for long-term residents?

Ronna Lou

Matchmaking Consultant (2016–present)

I guess it depends on your preferences.

For example, if you like the beach vibe, you can visit Siargao, Boracay, or Palawan.

El Nido, Palawan

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

If you are into fresh mountain air and the smell of pine, Baguio or Banaue are good destinations.

Banaue Rice Terraces

Photo by John Renzo Aledia from Pexels

For a more modern feel, with a skyline that can compete with other beautiful cities around the world, Metro Manila and Cebu City should be on your list.

Downtown Cebu

Photo by Gil Aguirre from Pexels

But if you prefer an open wilderness and experience exotic wildlife with the amenities of a developing city, Bohol or Davao are your best options.

Chocolate Hills, Bohol

Photo by Jondave Libiran from Pexels

The Philippines, an archipelago of more than 7,000 islands, offers a wide variety of destinations that even locals will want to visit soon. Whether you go to the beach, explore a modern city, or hike up a mountain, you’ll get to experience firsthand the rich culture, history, and heritage that the country is founded on.

What do foreign men often misunderstand about dating a Filipina?

 

Filipino Relationship and Dating

 

Answered by 

Ronna Lou

 

(Yes, that’s a photo of me. I believe it’s a good proof that I’m a Filipina with the right to talk about these things.)

Ok so before I answer, I will say that most of these misunderstandings are not because I think foreign men think badly of Filipinos or women in the Philippines. I don’t. I’m married to an American man, of course I don’t think that. But sadly, because of negative stereotypes, there are always gonna be things that foreigners will assume about Filipinos, so it’s the same when a foreign man starts dating a Filipina.

One very common misunderstanding is how poor and uneducated Filipinos are. Because this means that if a foreign man is dating a Filipina, the woman can’t really communicate with him and only wants him for money.

I am actually very tired of this stereotype.

No, dating Filipinas doesn’t always mean she’s illiterate or a gold digger. In the Philippines, we take education very seriously. Yes, many of us experience poverty, but we work hard to have good lives without chasing foreigners for their money. And we speak good English. Even Filipinos who struggle financially can communicate with foreigners just fine.

Another misunderstanding is how Filipinas are always nagging and jealous. Again, this isn’t true. Many Filipinas are shy and quiet. A Filipina dating a foreign man won’t be picking fights with other women or pestering him about little things. We know how common decency works, okay?

Sometimes, the misunderstanding is opposite. Some foreign men believe that Filipinas are traditional and very conservative, the kind of woman who is always wearing long skirts and hiding her face with a handkerchief.

But many Filipinas are pretty modern, with modern views and practices. We’re not socially isolated or clueless about how other countries work. In fact, since we’re always on social media, many of us even have a “Westernized” sense of humor.

What’s traditional about us is more on our values and priorities. We’re still religious and family-centric. We still want to take care of our loved ones.

There’s really no problem connecting with us or getting to know us when you’re a foreigner dating a Filipina. Just please don’t believe every bad thing you hear and keep an open mind always so there are no misunderstandings.

Thank you!

 

Filipino Relationship and Dating

 · 

Following

Answered by 

Ronna Lou

 

Ok so this is very broad, which is why I will just focus on Filipino culture and values surrounding dating and relationships.

• I think Filipinos are an interesting mix of modern and traditional when it comes to relationships. We adapted modern values and ways of meeting and dating people (we follow a lot of Western culture, so many of us use apps and social media to connect), but we still retained a lot of “old school” things, especially about family and religion.
• We have a very strong sense of responsibility and care, and it shows in our relationships. We look after our family and loved ones, and we also try to find someone who will take care of us.
• Even though women in the Philippines usually stay at home to take care of the children, they have a specific kind of authority from being the “light” of the family. The husbands and fathers provide, but the wives and mothers do a lot of coordinating and guiding. It’s a partnership that works for most.
• Our sense of humor, especially when it comes to romance and dating, is unique. We have jokes about being sentimental or hopeless romantics, but Filipinos also have big hearts and I believe we are some of the best lovers in the world.

Feel free to add if you’re also a Filipino or you’ve dated/married a Filipino!

If, in traditional Filipino courtship, a woman is supposed to say no to a man approaching her even if she likes him, then how can you make the difference between that and a real no?

 

Ronna Lou

 

 

Filipina Writer and Matchmaking Consultant at Philippine-Women.Com

Hahaha the pakipot strikes again!

By the way, pakipot means playing hard to get in Filipino. Like how the question describes it, it’s when a Filipina acts like she’s not interested or says no to a man trying to court her even if she really likes him back. And I get it, this can be very frustrating.

I think I already talked about this before here on Quora. Remember, traditional Filipino courtship or panliligaw is focused on making sure the man courting the Filipina is sincere and determined. Playing hard to get is one way of “testing” how patient and committed the guy is.

You can read more about this practice here

[1]

 and here

[2]

.

Just to be clear, a Filipina is not “supposed” to do this. It’s just a common practice because it’s the usual way of checking if a guy is really sincere or not. It can be very frustrating sometimes because when you look at it, there’s some manipulation going on and it’s unfair to the men.

But some men also like the chase, and I think a big part of it is knowing that the woman likes you back even if she’s playing pakipot.

So how do you know that a Filipina actually likes you if she’s playing hard to get?

Well a big sign is how much attention she’s giving you. If a Filipina really doesn’t like you, she probably won’t spend a lot of time entertaining you. She’d rather spend more time with the man she actually likes. But if she’s always being maldita or enjoying all the attention you’re giving her, then it’s probably because she likes being chased by you.

Another sign is if she actively offers you opportunities to prove your feelings. A Filipina who isn’t interested will usually just stop you. But if she’s secretly interested, she will tell you what you can do to prove yourself. Maybe she’ll tell you to get this type of flower instead or challenge you to talk to her scary father. She doesn’t want you to get her sweet yes so easily, but she will tell you how to do it.

You can also just look at her body language. She will probably roll her eyes and pout, but you can see that she’s smiling and sometimes even laughing at your flirty jokes. She might even flirt back but pretend she’s just being strict.

Again, this is an old tradition that some Filipinas don’t really practice, but it can also be a fun way of getting to know each other. Just make sure you know your limits, and that she’s not actually taking advantage of you. If you do this song–and-dance properly, it can be very fulfilling when she finally admits her feelings for you.

Footnotes

[1] https://islandladies.medium.com/why-are-filipina-women-playing-hard-to-get-2a373caec37c

[2] https://www.discoverphilippines.org/p/from-torpe-to-pamamanhikan-the-unique

Why is Filipino music always love songs?

 

Ronna Lou

 

 · 

Following

Filipina Writer and Matchmaking Consultant at Philippine-Women.ComAug 10

Actually you know what? It kind of is! When you look at OPM or Original Pilipino Music, there are many love songs, and you can’t have a karaoke without someone singing an Aegis song about heartbreak and a Regine Velasquez or an OPM band song about yearning.

It’s probably because we Filipinos are big romantics. Even in our movies and TV shows, we love watching love teams and hoping the actor and actress are also dating in real life hahah!

To be fair, we also have music that isn’t about love, at least not romantic love.

We have Freddie Aguilar’s music that’s usually about family and Philippine pride.

We have rock and rap songs by icons like Bamboo, Gloc-9, and the late Francis M. that are about politics and social issues.

We also have a lot of folk songs about simple Filipino life, nature, and local traditions.

Filipinos joke all the time about being “senti” (sentimental) or “maoy” (Bisaya word that means extra emotional or heartbroken) so it’s not surprising that our music reflects that.

But if you think about it, anything can be about love. So any song can be a love song if you try, and it looks like we Filipinos try all the time!