How do I find and succeed in marriage with a Filipina?

 

Ronna Lou

 

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Following

Matchmaking Consultant at Philippine-Women.Com

Okay, let’s start with the first step: how to meet and start dating a Filipina.

My advice is always for guys to go to the Philippines. Unless you know the people in your closest Filipino community, your best bet is to actually travel to the country and put yourself in a position to meet the local ladies. Online dating will only take you so far.

Next, you have to look past the stereotypes. Relying on what you know from the internet or from popular media will not help you when you realize that not all Filipinas are the same. Yes, having general knowledge will give you a place to start, but successfully dating a Filipina means getting to know that specific woman based on who she is and not just on her being from a certain country.

So, how do you find a Filipina wife?

• Go to the Philippines.
• If you want to do online dating first, make sure to avoid scammers.
• Go beyond stereotypes.

Marrying a Filipina is just an extension of all that. It also means dealing with the reality of having a Filipina wife (something even my husband took years to truly grasp! haha).

Key things to keep in mind:

• Family is VERY IMPORTANT for Filipinas. If you want to marry a woman from the Philippines, prepare to have a huge (and often busybody) family.
• If she wants to settle down in the Philippines, make sure you’re comfortable with the idea of living in the country.
• If she’s open to moving to your home country, make sure you’re prepared to help her adjust.
• As with any interracial marriage, you need to find a way to deal with the cultural differences (especially in things like lifestyle, food, and long-term goals).
• Even though Filipinos are good at English, the language barrier can still surprise you even years into your relationship.
• If you’re planning to have kids, your wife being a Filipina will also be a HUGE factor. Be prepared for that too.

Sharing here a photo of me (Filipina) and my husband (American) during our second wedding, and another photo of a former client (Danny, from Singapore) with his wife Marilyn (also a Filipina):

What are some pictures of beautiful women?

 

Ronna Lou

 

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Following

Matchmaking Consultant (2016–present)

Allow me to share photos of beautiful Filipino women from our social events in Cebu:

I’m probably a little biased because I am also a Filipina, but I really believe that the Philippines has some of the most beautiful women in the world. It’s why a lot of foreign men visit the country: to meet their life partner in the Philippines.

And it’s not just their physical appearance that makes them beautiful. Filipinas are also kind, loyal, and passionate—qualities that prove their beauty is not only skin-deep.

Which Philippine destinations are most worth visiting for long-term residents?

 

Ronna Lou

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Following

Matchmaking Consultant (2016–present)1y

I guess it depends on your preferences.

For example, if you like the beach vibe, you can visit Siargao, Boracay, or Palawan.

El Nido, Palawan

Photo by Pixabay from Pexels

If you are into fresh mountain air and the smell of pine, Baguio or Banaue are good destinations.

Banaue Rice Terraces

Photo by John Renzo Aledia from Pexels

For a more modern feel, with a skyline that can compete with other beautiful cities around the world, Metro Manila and Cebu City should be on your list.

Downtown Cebu

Photo by Gil Aguirre from Pexels

But if you prefer an open wilderness and experience exotic wildlife with the amenities of a developing city, Bohol or Davao are your best options.

Chocolate Hills, Bohol

Photo by Jondave Libiran from Pexels

The Philippines, an archipelago of more than 7,000 islands, offers a wide variety of destinations that even locals will want to visit soon. Whether you go to the beach, explore a modern city, or hike up a mountain, you’ll get to experience firsthand the rich culture, history, and heritage that the country is founded on.

Do Filipinos express their love differently than other nationalities? If so, how?

 

Filipino Relationship and Dating

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Answered by 

Ronna Lou

 

We have our own culture, so it’s natural for us to have our own ways of expressing love.

For example, Filipinos are VERY family oriented, so our idea of love is tied to our familial roles and relationships. Dating is practically the first step to meeting your spouse and starting your future family. When you’re in a relationship with someone, it’s also kind of expected that you should be on good terms with their parents and siblings.

When we love you, we ask about your family. How is your mother? Is your tatay still working abroad? Are your siblings still in school? In the Philippines, love means working hard for your family and making your parents proud.

We’re also predominantly Catholic, so love can be very religious. When you love someone, you pray for them. You invite them to go to church with you. You give them a rosary as a gift.

Filipino love is also tied to labor and acts of service. In fact, there was a survey

[1]

 last year that showed 67% of people in the Philippines show their love through acts of service.

If a Filipina loves you, she will cook for you.

If a Filipino loves you, he will spend the night with a pamaypay (a hand-held fan) to make sure you’re comfortable while sleeping when there’s a brownout (power outage).

If a Filipino family loves you, you will always be invited to all the fiestas.

When people in the Philippines love you, not a day will go by without you laughing over something silly. You will also never go hungry. They will put a roof over your head during a storm, they will carry your house (This is literal. Look up Bayanihan.), and they will walk on their knees from the church doors to the altar to pray for your eternal soul.

Footnotes

[1] https://newsinfo.inquirer.net/2034563/most-pinoys-show-love-thru-acts-of-service

Why do all people find Asian women attractive?

 

Filipino Relationship and Dating

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Following

Answered by 

Ronna Lou

 

Not all people find Asian women attractive. That’s just the truth.

I know that because I’m an Asian woman who grew up with a lot of insecurities. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy now and I know I’m beautiful (mostly because my husband always tells me) but I also can’t deny the reality that most Asian women like me have a complicated relationship with things like attractiveness and beauty.

First of all, attraction is subjective.

What is attractive to one man might not be the same to another. If one guy prefers dating Chinese or Indian or Filipino women, then there are other guys who like perky Americans or tall Europeans more. And that’s okay.

But when it comes global beauty standards, you don’t usually immediately think of Asian women.

Even among us Asians, there are different types of beauty. But what we’re not (at least not usually) is fair, blonde, or blue-eyed. And that’s often the “ideal” woman for a lot of people.

But we are attractive! Common Asian characteristics like long black hair, cute eyes, and brown complexion are also appealing to certain people. I just know it’s not for everybody, and that’s also okay.

(My husband will usually say it’s my charismatic personality that he finds most attractive about me, but that’s not really exclusively Asian, is it? Haha!)

Should I share my money?

 

Posted by 

Ronna Lou

 

My husband and I earn almost the same, he is asking me to share the finances, isn't it the husband's duty to provide? Should I share my money?

No, not if we’re talking about a two wage earner household. I’m 55 (almost 56) and I’ve been married twice.

In my first marriage, my wife did whatever she wanted. She spent money freely and racked up huge amounts of credit card debt. I felt betrayed by her not willing to compromise or live well within our means. It was a one-sided relationship. Because I felt like an unequal partner, I treated her differently. I loved her but there was no spark, romance, or interest really. That led to her also being dissatisfied. She eventually met another man that swept her off her feet. The end result, she divorced me, moved to his home state of New Jersey, and left our two teenagers for me to continue raising (not that I would’ve been okay with them moving away from family and friends in their birth city regardless).

I eventually remarried. My wife and combined everything and we have monthly budget meetings. We have a joint checking account where are salaries are direct deposited, savings, CDs, and even joint brokerage accounts. We share the financial burden of operating our household as well as the joy of preparing for eventual retirement and everything in between.

It hasn’t been easy. In fact, the first 10 years of our marriage had quite a few challenges: blended family and in-laws being the biggest but of course money has been up there (how to spend it, where, and how much is okay or not). I’ll say in the last 1–2 years, our relationship has dramatically improved. We decided to be 100% open, transparent, and willing to accommodate our partner’s requests- listen and do our best to come to a compromise. Even if the other person doesn’t really “feel it”. We’ve both had to temper ourselves, our responses, and learn to be better spouses.

So. To answer your second question - should you share your money? If you look at it as yours and not “ours”, then I’d say that’s the first mental challenge you need to overcome. Some things are meant to be shared equally. I think that includes money and certainly time (chores, household responsibilities, etc).

What should foreign guys know before dating in the Philippines?

Ronna Lou

Matchmaker, Dating Advisor, and Wannabe Writer

Dating in the Philippines can take foreign men by surprise with how “familiar” it can feel. A lot of our dating practices can be very modern and “Westernized.”

For example:

A lot of Filipinas are on dating apps.

Modern Filipinas are no strangers to casual relationships.

Physical intimacy isn’t always tied to emotions.

Some Filipinas will demand to be treated the way they believe Western women are being treated (but this one can be unclear, since not everyone is on the same page about what kind of treatment this refers to).

Despite all these similarities, there are still things that are specific to dating in the Philippines.

If you’re a foreign man dating a Filipina, you need to be prepared for some of these things:

Family members and even distant relatives will usually comment or give unsolicited advice about your relationship.

Some Filipinas will expect that because you’re dating them, it means you will marry them someday (which is why communication really IS key).

Being a man and a foreigner will also give you the reputation of being a generous lover (which can translate to you being expected to pay for everything).

A lot of Filipinas really WILL save physical intimacy for marriage (yes, even kissing).

Going out in public places with your Filipina girlfriend will usually get you stared at.

Dating in the Philippines isn’t always “rustic” or all about going to the beach. We have a lot of modern dating spots and fancy restaurants. In fact, our shopping malls are considered small palaces with a lot of high-end amenities for couples to enjoy.

Yes, there are romance scammers in the Philippines. You need to be careful about who you meet and how you meet them. There is risk in both online dating and in-person connections, so you have to do your research.