WORDS

Words can hurt. Words are powerful. They can make or break a person. Whispering words of wisdom can empower, encourage, uplift and help move someone forward. Choose kind words to heal one's spirit.

 Face it again: your words can hurt someone more than you intended too and therefore it is important that you take a moment to think before you speak, no matter your mood. Words are expensive; once they are said they cannot be taken back. Choose your words wisely or else it can become costly to you. Don't wonder. There is a reason, I repeat my words here.

 There comes a point where it all becomes too much. When we get too tired to fight anymore. So we give up. That's when the real work begins....!

 True words may be bitter. But no matter what words say. Actions always reveal the truth.

 Your words must match your actions in this world. What you put out is what you'll receive. Only you know if your words match you, the real you. Not what any version you want the world to see, but the acts you do when no one is watching you. That's living an authentic life.

Words won't always work. So always express your feelings more in action than words. Words fade. Memories linger.

  Our words are very powerful, always make sure that you use the right words, which encourages people instead of discouraging. 

Well, sometimes words are really not enough. You can believe all the right things, yet still be dead wrong. 

Where there is life, there is motion. Some antelopes, as well as the cheetah, can spring faster than speeding cars. Bighorn sheep, charging one another headfirst, collide with such force that the sound echoes like a gunshot through mountain ranges. Migrating birds battle winds for 1,000 Miles, nonstop, before dropping back to earth.

Sometimes, we keep relics of life: a fragile,perfect seashell, an exoctiv butterfly mounted on a pin. But these are mere memories: life has gone from them, and with it motion.

Someone around us has left us and the world.  We are shocked. We can't find the right words.

Some close to us have an incurable disease. We can't find the right words.

Someone with us tells us, he or she is happily married. We can't find the right words.

Someone got an amazing job abroad, we really can't find the right words.

Well, is there something wrong with us?

Authors of the bible often look to nature for analogies to express spiritual truth. The book of James, controversial because of its emphasis on "good work", is perhaps best understood through the analogy of motion, in the spiritual realm also, where there's life there will be a motion. 

Movement does not cause life, but it does invariably follow life. It's a sure sign that life is present. . Similarly, genuine faith in Christ should always result in actions that demonstrate the faith.

Straight to the point: be humble.

The forcefulness of love

By Fr. Roy Cimagala *

          IT’S true! Where there is love, there is also some kind of

forcefulness, an abiding state of being driven despite the variations

of our bodily and other earthly conditions. Where there is love, we

can only echo what Christ himself said: “I have come to set the earth

on fire, and how I wish it were already blazing!” (Lk 12,49)

          Where there is love, we would be clear about what the real

and ultimate purpose of our life is, we would have a good sense of

direction even if we are presented with many alternative options, we

would not mind the many difficulties and challenges we can encounter

as we go along. In fact, we would find great meaning in them.

          This is the ideal condition for all of us. Even if we are

endowed only with the most phlegmatic and melancholic temperaments,

something must be burning inside our heart that cannot help but burst

into a flame, a flame of love, of self-giving, of serving without

expecting any return, without counting the cost. If it is not yet

there, then let’s enkindle it.

          The secret is always that vital identification with Christ.

Of course, this condition, this requirement is quite tough to meet,

but if we would just try and try again as often as necessary,

certainly the ideal effect would just come about. On the part of

Christ, we cannot doubt that he is all there for us, all there for the

taking.

          What can always help is that we avoid getting imprisoned in

our own world and allow ourselves to simply be at the mercy of the

state of our physical, emotional and mental condition. With our

spiritual faculties of intelligence and will, plus of course God’s

grace that will always be made abundantly available, we can transcend

beyond these constraining elements.

          So we just have to use everything within our power to attain

that ideal state of being always on the go, dynamic, eager to serve

and to do things for everyone. We may have our limitations, and we can

commit mistakes, yet we cannot deny that everything is already given

for us to be how we should be in our earthly life. And that is to be

like Christ, whose only desire is to love all of us.

          We actually cannot avoid using some forcefulness. Even with

our own selves, we have to use it, because if not then we would be

totally dominated by our laziness, softness, fears, doubts. Right at

the start of the day, when we have to get up, we have to use force,

and that little daily task can require heroic efforts, both mental and

physical.

          It´s true that as we age, our physical strength can wane,

but not the power of the mind nor of the will. In these latter two

faculties, which are our spiritual powers, there´s no such thing as

aging, unless we entirely submit them to the law of our physical life.

Especially with the grace of God, they can go on gaining strength,

scope and depth.

          So in theory, because of our spiritual nature, we can go on

living and loving. This is the natural basis for our immortality, that

capacity to continue living even after our death. But since we are a

unity of body and soul, of something material and spiritual, we always

experience a certain tension within ourselves which we try to bear by

using some forcefulness.

          But when we have true love, we can handle that predicament

well. Love has its inherent forcefulness.

* Chaplain Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise (CITE), Talamban, Cebu City

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com

ALONE?

Studies show the ability to tolerate alone time has been linked to increased happiness, better life satisfaction, and improved stress management. People who enjoy alone time experience less depression.

Short-term tips to get you started to avoid comparing yourself to others are easy to be said: 

Take a step back from social media. …
Take a phone break. …
Carve out time to let your mind wander. …
Take yourself on a date. …
Get physical. …
Spend time with nature. …
Lean into the perks of being alone.

I can be a reluctant socializer. I’m sometimes secretly pleased when social plans are called off. I get restless a few hours into a hangout. Maybe, I’ll not be invited any more. Or not so often… . I even once went on a free 10-day silent meditation retreat – not for the meditation, but for the silence.

So I can relate to author Anneli Rufus, who recounted in Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto: “When parents on TV shows punished their kids by ordering them to go to their rooms, I was confused. I loved my room. Being there behind a locked door was a treat. To me a punishment was being ordered to play Yahtzee with my cousin Louis.”
Several years ago in one of my write-ups, I wrote about loneliness or in other words splendid isolation.

Asocial tendencies like these are often far from ideal. Abundant research shows the harms of social isolation, considered a serious public health problem in countries that have rapidly ageing populations (though talk of a ‘loneliness epidemic’ may be overblown). In the UK, the Royal College of General Practitioners says that loneliness has the same risk level for premature death as diabetes. Strong social connections are important for cognitive functioning, motor function and a smoothly running immune system.

This is especially clear from cases of extreme social isolation. Examples of people kept in captivity, children kept isolated in abusive orphanages, and prisoners kept in solitary confinement all show how prolonged solitude can lead to hallucinations and other forms of mental instability.

But these are severe and involuntary cases of loneliness. For those of us who just prefer plenty of alone time, emerging research suggests some good news: there are upsides to being reclusive – for both our work lives and our emotional well-being.
Social anxiety is the single most common psychological problem according to innumerable survey results worldwide. The magnificent, gorgeous and excellent isolation, resulting from being nervous when meeting people is really the opposite. The state of being isolated reminds me of being in a hospital with an infectious disease.

Does the project of giving a speech or going to a social gathering give you the willies?
Relax, there are always ways and solutions to help you but teaching you “never to be nervous again”. 

I have always been the most silent pupil in elementary and high school. I was ashamed even to talk to or with my teachers. Several terrible school records have been the result. But, I wanted to become a journalist. I am still one.

During college times and while writing my first articles, I learned from my first boss, a daily news publisher, to avoid being nervous while meeting people. I was always prepared. Preparation for any communicating situation is a must. I have been invited to many parties and gatherings. I always asked for the guest list. I scanned all the newspapers and browsed the net. 

One key benefit is improved creativity. Gregory Feist, who focuses on the psychology of creativity at California’s San Jose State University, has defined creativity as thinking or activity with two key elements: originality and usefulness. He has found that personality traits commonly associated with creativity are openness (receptiveness to new thoughts and experiences), self-efficacy (confidence), and autonomy (independence) – which may include “a lack of concern for social norms” and “a preference for being alone”. In fact, Feist’s research on both artists and scientists shows that one of the most prominent features of creative folks is their lesser interest in socializing.

One reason for this is that such people are likely to spend sustained time alone working on their craft. Plus, Feist says, many artists “are trying to make sense of their internal world and a lot of internal personal experiences that they’re trying to give expression to and meaning to through their art.” Solitude allows for the reflection and observation necessary for that creative process.

A recent vindication of these ideas came from University at Buffalo psychologist Julie Bowker, who researches social withdrawal. Social withdrawal usually is categorized into three types: shyness caused by fear or anxiety; avoidance, from a dislike of socializing; and insociability, from a preference for solitude.

There is gender and cultural variation, of course. For instance, some research suggests that unsociable children in China have more interpersonal and academic problems than unsociable kids in the West. Bowker says that these differences are narrowing as the world becomes more globalized.

Still, it turns out that solitude is important for more than creativity. Since ancient times, meanwhile, people have been aware of a link between isolation and mental focus. After all, cultures with traditions of religious hermits believe that solitude is important for enlightenment.

Recent research has given us a better understanding of why. One benefit of unsociability is the brain’s state of active mental rest, which goes hand-in-hand with the stillness of being alone. When another person is present, your brain can’t help but pay some attention. This can be a positive distraction. But it’s still a distraction.
Daydreaming in the absence of such distractions activates the brain’s default-mode network. Among other functions, this network helps to consolidate memory and understand others’ emotions. Giving free rein to a wandering mind not only helps with focus in the long term but strengthens your sense of both yourself and others. Paradoxically, therefore, periods of solitude actually help when it comes time to socialize once more. And the occasional absence of focus ultimately helps concentration in the long run.

I learned, if your personality tends toward insociability, you shouldn’t feel the need to change. Of course, that comes with caveats. But as long as you have regular social contact, you are choosing solitude rather than being forced into it, you have at least a few good friends and your solitude is good for your well-being or productivity, there’s no point agonizing over how to fit a square personality into a round hole.

So feel free to de-clutter your social calendar. It’s psychologist-approved.

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