5 thoughts you need to take out from your head

by Jane Kingsu-Cheng

Say no to these negative vibes

We’ve all heard these phrases at some point of our lives, especially when we were young and gullible then. These lines have been ingrained in our heads, making us believe that we’re not worth it. This leads to self-doubt and questioning our self-worth, but should we let these negative thoughts win?

Photo by Dingzeyu Li on Unsplash

The crucial first step is to always acknowledge what’s wrong, assess our current situation, and move forward. This International Women’s Month, let’s start with the five negative thoughts that we need to take out of our heads.

1. I don’t fit here!
   We are social in nature, and we want to find a group of friends we can call family. And this task isn’t as easy as it sounds. Some would find fault and put the person down for little things such as mannerisms and physical attributes, embarrassing them in front of other peers. This trauma can lead to these bullied ones afraid of meeting new friends and not fitting in.
   This is not you, don’t let the childhood bully make you believe otherwise.

2. I can’t do it!
   We all want to try new things, but our guardians, out of their concern, protect us to a fault. “You’re just a girl, you can’t do it.” That memory has been ingrained in your head, but that shouldn’t stop you from proving them and even yourself that they’re wrong. You can do it! Don’t let your guardian believe their right all along.
   
3. I am not enough!
   The pressure is real. With so many slashes as a mom, a wife, a daughter, an employee or a businesswoman, it’s never enough. You know how much value you put in on the table. Don’t let anyone else make you think otherwise. Prove all your colleagues wrong.
   
4. I am too fat or too thin!
   Family gatherings are always scary as our older relatives would always have something to comment about the way we look. There’s never the right body frame and weight for them. You can be too fat or you can be too thin. And this affects us and makes us feel insecure. You, of all people, know how you should look. Trust your instincts and give yourself a pat on the back. Don’t let your tita win!
   
5. I can’t be happy on my own.
   In a country where most people believe happiness is found in finding your soulmate, it’s hard to believe that happiness can be found within you. But you have to fight the urge to do so. Happiness starts within you. When you know how to be happy on your own, when you know how to take care and appreciate yourself, then that’s time you’re ready to share the love you have.

Remember that these lines were not yours in the first place, don’t let it take control of your life. This International Women’s Day, Avon reminds women all over the world that you have the power to silence them and replace them with encouraging and empowering words. It’s time to love yourself. Grow and flourish!

LOST IN THOUGHTS

Very often - sometimes too often! - the thought is back! If we wake up in the morning (or even many times in the middle of the night), the thought is back. Sometimes, the thought will not let us sleep. The "act of thinking". the "reflection", the "opinion" or the "serious consideration", no matter, how we describe it - our memory and conscience is always with us as a permanent companion. Especially now in times of Coronavirus.

We brood over unsettled problems. Sometimes we also bear unfair treatments, arrogance, ignorance, incompetent know-it-all-betters, and unbearable oddballs, who inexorable love to make our life a hell while living themselves a disorderly life.

We would not like to be distracted, but we're toying with some good ideas how we could throw overboard all that "human garbage". What will come next is a matter of conjecture.

Of course, I've got my ideas, but I'm not a mind reader. Too many trains of thought make us thoughtless and absent-minded especially in difficult and important daily life situations.

Does waiting and/or sleeping solve our problems? Or is it just again in time? Our life's central idea should not be, that while waiting, time solves all our problems. Thoughts should intensify, condense and deepen plans followed by actions.

It's good and helpful to carry thoughts in us all the time. Incomprehensible, or better unfinished and un-matured thoughts, no matter whether positive or negative, should be slept on, before tiredness outstrips us with supersonic speed.

Sometimes we feel that our thoughts and ideas can't be fulfilled with life. Where the heart is willing, it will find a thousand ways; but where the heart is weak, it will find a thousand excuses. If doubts begin to take roots, we should rouse from pink-tinted idealism or wear down and annihilate nightmares and erase and wipe out such thoughts and ideas.

If our thoughts are good and have the chance to be fulfilled in action, especially if "the other side" is prepared and willing to step on to such a bridge of life, we might get support and words of encouragement.

And, if not? No action? Maybe it is God's will to keep and protect us from a careless, rash, disadvantageous and uneasy action. Every new day gives us new inexhaustible possibilities to survive, to bear trials and to start a new beginning. We overlook and fail to notice many chances to lie through our sluggishness and laziness while thinking and dreaming of unequaled and unfulfilled ideas.

And, my dear readers, as always: Stay safe and healthy always!

Being deep in thought

My column in Mindanao Daily, BusinessWeek Mindanao and Cagayan de Oro Times

OPINION

 January 16, 2020

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VERY often - sometimes too often! - the thought is back! If we wake up in the morning (or even many times in the middle of the night), the thought is back. Sometimes, the thought will not let us sleep. The "act of thinking". the "reflection", the "opinion" or the "serious consideration", no matter, how we describe it - our memory and conscience is always with us as a permanent companion.

We brood over unsettled problem. Sometimes we bear unfair treatments, arrogance, ignorance, incompetent know-it-all-betters, and unbearable oddballs, who inexorable love to make our life a hell while living themselves a disorderly life.

We would not like to be distracted, but we're toying with some good ideas how we could throw overboard all that "human garbage". What will come next is a matter of conjecture.

Of course, I've got my ideas, but I'm not a mind reader. Too many trains of thought make us thoughtless and absent-minded especially in difficult and important daily life situations.

Does waiting and/or sleeping solve our problems? Or is it just again in time? Our life's central idea should not be, that while waiting, time solves all our problems. Thoughts should intensify, condense and deepen plans follow by actions.

It's good and helpful to carry thoughts in us all the time. Incomprehensible, or better unfinished and unmatured thoughts, no matter whether positive or negative, should be slept on, before tiredness outstrips us with supersonic speed.

Sometimes, we feel that our thoughts and ideas can't be fulfilled with life. Where the heart is willing, it will find a thousand ways; but where the heart is weak, it will find a thousands excuses. If doubts begin to take roots, we should rouse from pink-tinted idealism or wear down and annihilate nightmares and erase and wipe out such thoughts and ideas.

If our thoughts are good and have the chance to be fulfilled in action, especially if "the other side" is prepared and willing to step on to such a bridge of life, we might get a support and words of encouragement.

And, if not? No action? Maybe it is God's will to keep and protect us from a careless, rash, disadvantageous and uneasy action. Every new day gives us new inexhaustible possibilities to survive, to bear trials and to start a new beginning. We overlook and fail to notice many chances in lie through our sluggishness and laziness while thinking and dreaming of unequaled and unfulfilled ideas.