Contemplation and Relaxation

 

By Carlos Cornejo *

The food of the soul is contemplation.  Contemplation means looking and doing things thoughtfully or pondering on the important things in life.  Contemplation is a lost art nowadays because many people prefer the frenzy of feeding the senses especially with apps and social media.   Contemplation on the other hand is feeding the intellect and the will rather than the senses.  

The satisfaction derived from contemplation is always superior to those of feeding the senses because contemplation makes us more human and even more divine because it is helping the intellect and will to grow.  Our intellect and will is what differentiate us from the animals but most importantly it is what makes us beings “created in the image and likeness of God” (Genesis 1:26).   It is our soul with its intellect and will that makes us more like God and it is our bodies that makes us more like animals.  Thus, feeding the senses makes us more like animals but feeding the soul makes us more like God.  Aristotle said that feeding the senses is what animals do (eating, sleeping, playing, etc.) to make their lives happy so to speak.  If we humans do the same thing (making it our ultimate source of satisfaction), we will be frustrated because our nature and calling is higher.  It is through the nurturing of our intellect and will that we achieve our joy because it makes us more like God who has called us to be “partakers of His Divine Nature” (2 Peter 1:4) of which by the way is the ultimate purpose of the Christian life.

The activities of contemplation that feed the soul are reading, praying, contemplating nature, enjoying the company of our friends and relatives, gardening, cooking, playing a musical instrument, watching our kids play, etc.  What is common among these activities that makes it contemplative in nature?  They are not done in a hurry.  They are done deliberately and purposefully enriching the mind and the spirit that no computer games, or internet app can replace.  What kills the contemplative spirit is feeding only the senses as well as the attitude of a hurried life.  Being always in a hurry in our work or leisure would be like watching a movie in fast forward.  You would never enjoy it. “There are those who work and struggle and hurry, but are so much the more in want.” (Sirach 11:11)

We also have to learn the art of alternating work and rest.  Work is a practical activity for a greater end.  The reason why we work is to have the basic necessities in life such as food, clothing, shelter, etc. as well as to express our creative spirit, practice camaraderie with others, serve society, along with the exercise of the other virtues.  But once we have done our days’ work, we have to learn the art of relaxing with our family.  Rest is a seemingly useless activity but is an end in itself.  Rest is an end in itself because it gives us joy.  Work is a means to an end and that end is joy.  We work because it contributes to our happiness and not the other way around.

There are individuals who seem lost and don’t know what to do once their daily occupation is done.  These are usually workaholics who have gotten addicted to the efficiency and results of their labor.  The means have become an end for them.  It’s like falling in love with the brush instead of the product of the brush which is the painting on the canvas. For workaholics’ life is equal to work.  But the real purpose of work is to provide for the necessities as well as the leisure time for our family.  The purpose of our work is our family.  Thus, we should enjoy the company of our family after a days’ work.  When we learn that art of leisure with our family, it becomes an energizer and a rejuvenator to our spirits that makes us enthusiastically go back to work again.  Work and rest would then feed each other.  

* cvcornejo87@gmail.com

Be Yourself

 

By Carlos V. Cornejo

I watched an interview of Shay Mitchell, a famous Canadian actress who is half Filipina. She was asked, “What were your struggles with your identity during your high school years?”  She replied she wanted not to be different and so she dyed her hair blond, and wore colored contact lenses because she wanted to look like her Caucasian classmates at that time. In other words, she did not like the way she looked especially with her brown complexion.  But now she is celebrating her exotic appearance that makes her uniquely pretty.   She said she learned her lesson and that you should not try to be someone else you are not, but to instead celebrate your being you.  

Many young people nowadays struggle with their identity too.  My advice is: try to be yourself the soonest. The reasons are many.  First, because pretending who you are not can be quite exhausting.  I know of a young fellow who wanted to portray himself as a funny person in front of his classmates and hides his serious side because he feels like he would be more famous that way.  He confided to me that when he comes home from school, he feels drained.  

Second, because as Jim Carey the comedian-actor has said, you become invisible if your aim in life is mainly to be accepted.  Meaning your true self will disappear if you focus on getting accepted by others.  The paradox is when we try hard to appear original and unique, we end up losing our originality.  However, if we just be ourselves our unique identity comes out.  

It’s part of human nature to yearn to be accepted.  In psychology it’s called the sense of belongingness.  It’s the reason why some guys or gals join fraternities and sororities.  They want a group that accepts them.  But you don’t have to join a club or a fraternity to get accepted.  The key to getting accepted by others is when we practice our values or virtues.  How can anyone not get attracted to someone who is kind, caring, patient, helpful and charitable to others?  As I’ve always said, virtues bring out the best in us, we become more human. And the opposite is also true, vices make us less human and actually more of an animal.  When someone devours food as if there’s no more food tomorrow, doesn’t he or she behave like a pig?  We give birth to our true identity by being good not by being bad.  Just look at the saints, they all have different personalities.  In contrast the tyrants and the oppressors of this world, who terrorize and kill people by the thousands if not millions, are very boring because they pretty much have the same character.  It’s not hard to distinguish between Lenin and Hitler.  

You are who you are as God wanted you to be.  God is satisfied creating you and you should also be.  God is the champion and expert in bringing out our individuality.  God brings out our fullest identity if we obey Him and heed His calling or His plan for us in this life.  God will renew us and introduce us to our real selves.  “Behold I make all things new.”  (Rev. 21:5)

Being Decisive

By Engr. Carlos V. Cornejo *

Herbert Prochnow said, “There is a time when we must firmly choose the course which we must follow, or the relentless drift of events will make the decision for us.”  I totally agree.  Life is full of decision-making processes.  By the time we wake up options are already made available to us. In fact, the very time we get up from bed is in itself a decision we have to make.  We can choose to get up from bed by the time the alarm clock rings or decide to sleep some more.  

The drift of events Herbert Prochnow mentioned can refer to circumstances in life or persons around us that could decide things for us.  Usually, we make certain goals in life such as to finish college, to work abroad, to start our own business, etc. as our guide in making everyday decisions.  We normally ask ourselves before making a decision, “Is this activity going to bring me closer to my goals or not?” If we don’t have a firm resolve to stick to our goals, instead of spending time studying for an exam for example we could easily make excuses such as “going out with my barkada won’t be a big deal, I only do it once in a while anyway”.  But before you know it you’ve already been hooked to the group.  

We ought to follow Kenneth Blanchard’s advice: “There is a difference between interest and commitment.  When you’re interested in doing something, you only do it when it is convenient.  When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.”  The word commitment means you are going to fulfill your promise such as fulfilling your commitment to marriage, or your commitment to your boss in the office.  If we have made a commitment to get good grades for example so as to land a good job later, deciding whether to have a night out with our friends or go study for an exam will be not be a tough decision to make.  

Often times the dilemma in decision making especially for managers is not to make a decision until all data is available.  Waiting for additional information or data before making a final decision is a prudent thing to do especially if an important data is crucial to the decision we have to make.  But if you are racing with time and any delay could make the situation worse, then you’ll have to decide as best as you can.   US President Harry Truman once said, “Some questions cannot be answered, but they can be decided.”  Even when we do not have all the facts available, we usually have all the facts needed to make a decision.  

Of all matters, we have to be decisive with spiritual ones.  If we are neutral in spiritual matters, we’ll eventually find ourselves operating against heaven.  The Bible says to let the peace of God rule in our hearts (Colossians 3:15).  It tells us how to decide on things, especially the important things in life with the peace of Christ as an umpire in our hearts.  His peace can literally say “out” to that relationship and say “safe” to that business idea.  Consulting our decisions with God through prayer is a very wise and prudent thing to do.

* Former Chairman of the Electronics Engineering Department of Mary Our Help Technical Institute, a Don Bosco Engineering School for Women in Minglanilla, Cebu.  Teaches subjects on engineering, business, values and Catholic doctrine.  Has Masters in Business Administration from University of San Carlos and Masters in Telecommunications Engineering from University of Melbourne.  

Being Compassionate

 

By Engr. Carlos V. Cornejo *

* Former Chairman of the Electronics Engineering Department of Mary Our Help Technical Institute, a Don Bosco Engineering School for Women in Minglanilla, Cebu.  Teaches subjects on engineering, business, values and Catholic doctrine.  Has Masters in Business Administration from University of San Carlos and Masters in Telecommunications Engineering from University of Melbourne.  

Compassion means empathizing and caring for the unfortunate situation of others.  When we have compassion, we put ourselves in the shoes of others in their misfortunes and feel what they feel.  Compassion is supposed to not only feel pity but also to try to remedy the sufferings of others.  

When we feel compassion for a friend who has lost a loved one, we try to tell him we feel his sorrow and that we are united with him in his suffering, perhaps with a word or two of condolence.  We could not fully remedy his pain and our condolences are all we could offer. But it would be a big help to alleviate his pain.  

St. Thomas Aquinas discussed the virtue of compassion in his Summa Theologiae by asking a question: “Whether pain and sorrow are alleviated by the compassion of friends?” The question may seem odd to the modern mind because the answer seems obvious.  But St. Thomas' reasoning however is enlightening.  He offers two reasons.  First, as mentioned it is to lessen the weight of the burden of others by telling them we are united with their sufferings.  His second reason however is more positive.  He argues that because the virtue of compassion is rooted in love, when a person who is suffering witnesses the love his friends have for him, he experiences a care that he has not experienced before.  In short, it’s not just compassion but also love.  The friends of the grieving person are therefore telling him, “We love you, that’s why we feel sorry for your misfortune.”

Being compassionate also means being generous with others or being helpful especially to those who are in need materially or spiritually.  The Catholic Church lists down two kinds of compassionate actions that we could render to others that are based on Scripture.  One is corporal or bodily in nature and the other spiritual.  These are the corporal works of mercy and the spiritual works of mercy.  The corporal works of mercy are:  to feed the hungry, to give drink to the thirsty, to clothe the naked, to give shelter to travelers or homeless, to visit the sick, to visit the imprisoned, and to bury the dead.  The spiritual works of mercy are:  to instruct the ignorant (especially with religious knowledge), to counsel the doubtful (especially giving spiritual advice), to admonish the sinners (correcting others with love or practicing tough love), to bear wrongs patiently (patience with the weaknesses of others), to forgive offenses, and to pray for the living and the dead.  

Compassion seems to be the modern world’s favorite virtue.  It is the slogan of those seeking social justice.  We often hear cries of compassion towards the poor and the marginalized, the downtrodden of society, the discriminated people such as those of different skin color other than white, the bias against women in the workplace, etc. These are good causes in themselves but sometimes there is a kind of compassion related to this that is misplaced.  We refer to the kind of compassion that is used to justify abortion and euthanasia.  With abortion some groups feel compassionate towards the distraught mother who perhaps could not afford to raise the child therefore the baby ought to be aborted.  With euthanasia on the other hand, it seems to offer a stronger argument because they are trying to relieve dying people of unnecessary pain when death is inevitable.  Dr. Peter Kreeft, would counter that the life of a person is more important than our feelings of compassion for the dying.  We are not the creators of life therefore we have no authority to take it away.  We can’t act like gods.  Only God is God.  As the Muslims would say in their Shahadah, there is no god but God.  Therefore, only God can decide when to take away a person’s life.