
This might not be the typical expat blog, written by a German expat, living in the Philippines since 1999. It's different. In English and in German. Check it out! Enjoy reading! Dies mag' nun wirklich nicht der typische Auswandererblog eines Deutschen auf den Philippinen sein. Er soll etwas anders sein. In Englisch und in Deutsch! Viel Spass beim Lesen!

1. Gives you less eye contact.
2. Very curious to know your bad news.
3. They include criticism with any compliment.
4. Competes with you always, trying to turn everything into a competition and outdo you in every possible way.
5. He or she will start copying your ideas, style, or behavior, trying to achieve the same success as you.
6. They appear bored or absent when you report to them some joyful news or celebrate achievements.
7. They initiate or spread false stories with your information to harm your reputation.
Thank you for reading..
The phrase "Character is power"—famously attributed to educator and author Booker T. Washington—means that a person's inner moral strength, integrity, and values provide a truer, longer-lasting form of influence than physical force, money, or social status alone.
It’s possible to be by yourself and feel perfectly fine. It’s also possible to be surrounded by people and feel profoundly alone. Those two experiences—being alone and feeling lonely—are often treated as the same thing, but science tells us they’re very different.
Being alone is a physical state: you’re by yourself, perhaps working, resting, or intentionally choosing solitude. Loneliness, on the other hand, is a psychological experience. It’s the feeling that your relationships aren’t meeting your need for connection. You can be alone without being lonely, and lonely without being alone.
This distinction matters more than we might think.
Loneliness isn’t just an emotion; it’s a signal. Social psychologists often describe it as similar to hunger or thirst: an internal cue that something essential is missing. From an evolutionary perspective, humans survived by staying connected to others. Feeling lonely was a prompt to reconnect, to move back toward the group. Loneliness isn’t a personal failure. It’s a deeply human response.
Loneliness is about “the gap between the connection you want and the connection you have”. Not the number of people in your life. Or how busy your calendar is. But whether you feel seen, understood, and valued.
This helps explain why modern loneliness can feel so confusing. Many of us are more “connected” than ever—texting, scrolling, reacting, replying, yet report higher levels of loneliness. A recent poll suggests that one in five U.S. adults reported feeling lonely. Social interaction isn’t the same as social connection. Quantity doesn’t automatically lead to quality.
Loneliness can also subtly change how we interpret the world. Studies suggest that when people feel lonely, they become more sensitive to social threats—reading neutral interactions as rejection, hesitating to reach out, pulling back to protect themselves. Over time, this can make loneliness self-reinforcing, even when opportunities for connection exist.
So, how do we tell the difference between healthy solitude and loneliness?
One question to ask yourself is: Do I feel restored or depleted after time alone? Solitude that restores you—helps you think clearly, regulate your nervous system, or reconnect with yourself—is generally healthy. Loneliness doesn’t fill the cup; it drains it.
Studies show the ability to tolerate alone time has been linked to increased happiness, better life satisfaction, and improved stress management. People who enjoy alone time experience less depression.
Short-term tips to get you started to avoid comparing yourself to others are easy to be said:
Take a step back from social media. …
Take a phone break. …
Carve out time to let your mind wander. …
Take yourself on a date. …
Get physical. …
Spend time with nature. …
Lean into the perks of being alone.
I can be a reluctant socializer. I’m sometimes secretly pleased when social plans are called off. I get restless a few hours into a hangout. Maybe, I’ll not be invited any more. Or not so often… . I even once went on a free 10-day silent meditation retreat – not for the meditation, but for the silence.
So I can relate to author Anneli Rufus, who recounted in Party of One: The Loners’ Manifesto: “When parents on TV shows punished their kids by ordering them to go to their rooms, I was confused. I loved my room. Being there behind a locked door was a treat. To me a punishment was being ordered to play Yahtzee with my cousin Louis.”
Several years ago in one of my write-ups, I wrote about loneliness or in other words splendid isolation.
Asocial tendencies like these are often far from ideal. Abundant research shows the harms of social isolation, considered a serious public health problem in countries that have rapidly ageing populations (though talk of a ‘loneliness epidemic’ may be overblown). In the UK, the Royal College of General Practitioners says that loneliness has the same risk level for premature death as diabetes. Strong social connections are important for cognitive functioning, motor function and a smoothly running immune system.
This is especially clear from cases of extreme social isolation. Examples of people kept in captivity, children kept isolated in abusive orphanages, and prisoners kept in solitary confinement all show how prolonged solitude can lead to hallucinations and other forms of mental instability.
But these are severe and involuntary cases of loneliness. For those of us who just prefer plenty of alone time, emerging research suggests some good news: there are upsides to being reclusive – for both our work lives and our emotional well-being.
Social anxiety is the single most common psychological problem according to innumerable survey results worldwide. The magnificent, gorgeous and excellent isolation, resulting from being nervous when meeting people is really the opposite. The state of being isolated reminds me of being in a hospital with an infectious disease.
Does the project of giving a speech or going to a social gathering give you the willies? Relax, there are always ways and solutions to help you but teaching you “never to be nervous again”.
I have always been the most silent pupil in elementary and high school. I was ashamed even to talk to or with my teachers. Several terrible school records have been the result. But, I wanted to become a journalist. I am still one.
During college times and while writing my first articles, I learned from my first boss, a daily news publisher, to avoid being nervous while meeting people. I was always prepared. Preparation for any communicating situation is a must. I have been invited to many parties and gatherings. I always asked for the guest list. I scanned all the newspapers and browsed the net.
One key benefit is improved creativity. Gregory Feist, who focuses on the psychology of creativity at California’s San Jose State University, has defined creativity as thinking or activity with two key elements: originality and usefulness. He has found that personality traits commonly associated with creativity are openness (receptiveness to new thoughts and experiences), self-efficacy (confidence), and autonomy (independence) – which may include “a lack of concern for social norms” and “a preference for being alone”. In fact, Feist’s research on both artists and scientists shows that one of the most prominent features of creative folks is their lesser interest in socializing.
A recent vindication of these ideas came from University at Buffalo psychologist Julie Bowker, who researches social withdrawal. Social withdrawal usually is categorized into three types: shyness caused by fear or anxiety; avoidance, from a dislike of socializing; and insociability, from a preference for solitude.
There is gender and cultural variation, of course. For instance, some research suggests that unsociable children in China have more interpersonal and academic problems than unsociable kids in the West. Bowker says that these differences are narrowing as the world becomes more globalized.
Still, it turns out that solitude is important for more than creativity. Since ancient times, meanwhile, people have been aware of a link between isolation and mental focus. After all, cultures with traditions of religious hermits believe that solitude is important for enlightenment.
Recent research has given us a better understanding of why. One benefit of unsociability is the brain’s state of active mental rest, which goes hand-in-hand with the stillness of being alone. When another person is present, your brain can’t help but pay some attention. This can be a positive distraction. But it’s still a distraction.
Daydreaming in the absence of such distractions activates the brain’s default-mode network. Among other functions, this network helps to consolidate memory and understand others’ emotions. Giving free rein to a wandering mind not only helps with focus in the long term but strengthens your sense of both yourself and others. Paradoxically, therefore, periods of solitude actually help when it comes time to socialize once more. And the occasional absence of focus ultimately helps concentration in the long run.
I learned, if your personality tends toward insociability, you shouldn’t feel the need to change. Of course, that comes with caveats. But as long as you have regular social contact, you are choosing solitude rather than being forced into it, you have at least a few good friends and your solitude is good for your well-being or productivity, there’s no point agonizing over how to fit a square personality into a round hole.
So feel free to de-clutter your social calendar. It’s psychologist-approved.
![]() |
By Fr. Shay Cullen, Founder since 1974 |
The awarding of the 2026 Nobel Peace Prize to South African jurist and former International Criminal Court (ICC) judge Navi Pillay for her lifelong efforts to promote peace, international law and human rights has been greeted with great praise. She welcomed the honor but said it was a “lonely” award, since promoting human rights and social justice was the collective work of many dedicated human rights workers and activists, as well as others equally committed to them. She did not see it as a personal award, but as a recognition of the international community of rights workers, of which she is a part. Pillay was the first nonwhite woman to open a law practice in Natal, South Africa, in 1967. She spent decades defending anti-apartheid activists, political prisoners, and Robben Island detainees. One of them was Nelson Mandela, who became the country’s president a few years after he was released from prison. He appointed Pillay as the first nonwhite woman to join the South African High Court. She later became a judge on — and president of — the International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda, where she helped establish landmark legal precedents, including recognizing rape and its incitement as instruments of genocide. She was also a judge on the International Court of Justice and served as the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights from 2008 to 2014. She led UN inquiries and commissions looking into human rights violations and conflicts, including leading a UN Human Rights Council commission that investigated the root causes of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Pillay was at a conference inside Courtroom 600 in Nuremberg, Germany, when she learned she won the Nobel Peace Prize. That courtroom was where Nazi war criminals were put on trial for committing genocide against the Jews. Keeping that in mind, it is now shocking that allegations of genocide have been made against Israel decades later. Many of the Jews who survived the Holocaust later migrated to Palestine and established the State of Israel there, displacing Palestinians and committing violence against them, as well as triggering a conflict that continues to this day. In November 2024, the ICC pre-trial chamber issued arrest warrants against Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his former defense chief Yoav Gallant. Both face charges of war crimes and crimes against humanity. They allegedly used starvation as a tool of warfare, murder, persecution and intentionally directing attacks against civilians. The warrants aim to bring them to trial and answer those allegations. The two are not charged with genocide, but the State of Israel is. Netanyahu’s ally, United States President Donald Trump, was angry at the ICC over the warrants and imposed sanctions on several of its judges and prosecutors. He also fears possible investigations of his own illegal actions, like ordering the extrajudicial killings of suspected drug smugglers in Caribbean waters. He was enraged when the ICC opened an investigation into alleged human rights abuses in Afghanistan by US troops. Ongoing atrocities Meanwhile, the killing of Palestinian civilians continues in Gaza and now in the West Bank. South Africa has brought a case against Israel under the 1948 Genocide Convention. Pillay was a leading adviser in that case, and that definitely does not put her in Israel’s graces. The final results of Israel’s parliamentary elections last week showed that no single party or bloc won an outright majority, and a coalition government has to be formed. Many Arab Israelis elected 18 candidates to the legislature, but it’s certain other political parties will not include them in forming a government. Trump was enraged when he learned that a highly regarded and globally recognized woman of color from South Africa won this year’s Nobel Peace Prize, which he has long coveted. He has said he deserves it for stopping so many wars, ignoring the fact that he actually started one with Iran in late February. He was reported as saying that Pillay was of no importance and unheard of. He said her selection was disgraceful and embarrassing and an “indelible stain on Norway.” After the Nobel Peace Prize announcement, Trump announced new sanctions on the ICC through his Secretary of State Marco Rubio. He moved to lock down the court’s assets in the US. Financial dealings with the court were ordered to stop, and US companies providing informational technology services were ordered to cut them, among other measures. These were, no doubt, driven by intense jealousy. Trump also accused the ICC of being a “rogue” institution with double standards. The Preda Foundation, through its founder, was nominated on four separate occasions for the Nobel Peace Prize for its work in rescuing, protecting and healing over a thousand child-abuse and human-trafficking victims, but was never awarded it for the children and their protectors and healers. The children are healed and empowered to testify in court and win as many as 20 convictions of their abusers every year. When the nomination was proposed to the Nobel Peace Prize Committee, Chairman Thorbjørn Jagland turned it down. He was a former prime minister of Norway and is facing charges of aggravated gross corruption in that country regarding his close relationship with the late US financier and sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, who invited powerful people like Jagland to share his pleasures in his private resorts in Miami, New York and elsewhere where children were sexually abused. Underage girls were always available in Epstein’s resorts to provide companionship for his guests. Trump was a close associate of Epstein, and photographs released to the media show them laughing together. Jagland frequented Epstein’s property in New York and Florida, as did the United Kingdom’s former prince Andrew, who was photographed then with a minor who later accused him of abuse. Jagland likely approved and protected Epstein’s dirty business of child sexual abuse and trafficking. It is no wonder, then, that any nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize for an organization like the Preda Foundation that exposes child abusers and brings them to justice would be rejected by the committee on his decision as chairman. Epstein is now dead. Allegedly, he killed himself in jail while awaiting trial in New York, and Jagland himself is on trial for gross corruption related to financial misconduct and misusing his public positions. There are allegations that Trump was compromised by Israel, which may have caught him in a “honey trap” when he and Epstein were still close friends. This was likely set up by Mossad, Israel’s secret intelligence service that is well-known for such tactics. Epstein had traveled several times to Israel. Whatever wrongdoing these powerful people allegedly committed, the truth behind it is being gradually revealed, and the good defenders of human rights are being recognized through the Nobel Peace Prize, which is its intended purpose. |