My hiding place at home...

 

My hiding place for praying and relaxing ... 

My special friend - my Rexy ...

The tree - my friend ... I love to hug him ... 

My home ...

LOVE, MARRIAGE AND MORE

My column in Mindanao Daily and BusinessWeek Mindanao 

OPINION

By KLAUS DORING

 September 14, 2021

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I am old-fashioned. For many decades, I have loved collecting old magazine and newspaper clippings. Can you imagine what my two offices look like?

Anyway, in a very old issue of PHILADELPHIA NEWS from 1999,  then columnist Larry Fields confessed: "I lead a life of wine, women and song (by the way, a wonderful waltz of the Austrian Johann Strauss!) - it's cheaper than petrol, food and rent!"

Is LOVE just an expression? Or love and marriage?

Some marriages are made in heaven. You know some? I do. The best of the rest is just simply down-to-earth. Maybe also yours? I am blessed and happy to celebrate my 39th wedding anniversary very soon... .

Maybe, my dear readers, you remember this, "Then the prince swept the lovely young maiden into his arms and carried her home to his castle. And they live happily ever after!" Indeed, they did. Meanwhile, I met several couples, who would say: happily never after!

What I would like to see is an autonomous in home affairs study of all these titles of nobility bearers seven years after their happily-ever-after marriages. Or even earlier, because the so-called darned and tricky seventh marriage year could be even the first one already.

The truth is that life isn't made up of the continual highs found in the initial stages of courtship. Of course, flirting is fun and a wide groove exists. But after a while our system needs a rest. Unanimously, we're in the second stage sooner or later and our marriage life badly needs a new outside coating.

All of a sudden, the partner prefers day and night watching all the sports channels, falls asleep while you're revealing your innermost secrets and even forgets the anniversary for the first or even second time . Just bear in mind: You've won each other's acceptance  and sometimes even feel terribly gloomy. This acceptance shouldn't be undervalued.

Even we see a house that has to be cleaned, many other things have to be organized, and the partner, who looks as fatigued and bored as you feel. Logical question: "That's it? That WAS it?"

And suddenly, we experienced the third stage and learned why it's worth the ups and downs. Maybe we men don't mention any more, how incredible she looks, but we enjoy bleating and grousing at her spending innumerable hours putting her together. But then, suddenly, we men unload the garbage without being asked for it.

Although no marriage is continually blissful - it can be pretty good most of the time. When we last through arguments, money worries, and kid's problems or slowly but surely coming up mid-life crises, we should face reality that our relationship is not always a big day celebration.

It's because the fundamental  reason for a marriage has outlasted the craziness of day-to-day living: we love each other. That's MY idea of "Happily ever after, indeed!"

Valentine's Day is not around the corner. No guys, don't worry! And by the way, this one and only day  should not be a reason or a sad excuse to bring flowers for our partner and invite her to an amazing lunch or hotel overnight stay. As I said, I am very much old fashioned.