By: Jean-Marie Valheur
I like to write. All answers I have written, you may copy, you may use any lines you enjoy, you may copy, paste, share, translate, publish at your leisure — just credit me by name, is all. It’s the bare minimum a decent person would do.
Who am I? Just, somebody who likes to write. It’s really not that complicated. I exist, you exist, we all exist. Just briefly. And my brief existence, I dedicate to writing enjoyable little things for no one in particular.
It depends entirely on what type of foreigner they see they kababayan with. There are various types of foreigners who date in the Philippines. I’ve seen a story of a Filipino dude, a surfing instructor, who fell in love with a blonde girl he taught surfing. Their story made it to the news, and most responses from people were: “Wow, good for him!” because in the eyes of his countrymen, a Filipino man courting and getting with a foreign woman was seen as quite a successful move. Some even went as far as to say the man was: “elevating his race.”
More commonly, the male is the foreigner, and his partner is a Filipina. A lot of Filipinos, fond of their tsismis (gossips) will look the man and the woman up and down. What type is he, what type is she? If he’s the handsome backpacker type, they may assume he is not a serious guy, maybe he’s a cheater, a playboy? If he’s young, decent-looking and a morally upstanding guy in their eyes — maybe a missionary? — they may also judge him… is he broke? Will he just live off the Lord’s goodness and stay in a nipa hut with her?
Or he’s old, and balding, and she’s pretty… he must be rich, they think! Or he’s young, but otherwise physically unappealing. Couldn’t get a girl back home? How sweet he was able to find one here. Pity for the girl though. Maybe their children would still look good; mestiza and mestizo children typically do. Just the correct blend of genes that works well together, no matter how unappealing the parent(s).
Sometimes they see a foreign man who fell in love with what the Filipinos refer to as “a gay”. This is not really a gay male, but usually a Vice Ganda-esque crossdresser, a ladyboy or perhaps even a post-op transgender, although surgeries are hard to come by in the Philippines. In this case, some Filipinos will think the man was “tricked” by his partner. Others will assume he is simply unaware even now, maybe he’s stupid? Or they will just question his manhood; he must not be a ‘real man’, maybe his “masculinity is only 50% male, and he’s 50% female”, I have heard it being described in such a way.
Sometimes the man seems normal enough. But his Filipina wife already has two or three kids from another man. She does not want more, or maybe she is too old. The foreign man adopts them as his own, pays for their education and loves them as if they were his. If a Filipino man did such a thing, his countrymen would consider him a ‘sucker’. Since this man is a foreigner and therefore has infinitely more options on the dating market, he’s seen as double the sucker.
These are just a few of the many things that cross the minds of Filipinos when they see a Filipina or Filipino with a foreign partner. It all depends on the foreigner and the situation, but judgements are made, if not always spoken aloud.
