BREAKING POINT

 

My column in Mindanao Daily and BusinessWeek Mindanao

BREAKING POINT

OPINION

By KLAUS DÖRING

 September 10, 2021

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I got my first breaking point as a German expatriate in the Philippines as a result of culture shocks. This was a long time ago and very much different from today's situation.  Meanwhile I have been living here smooth and sound for several years. 

 

Time changed. We all continue to suffer from the previous pandemic and the restrictions in our daily lives. Many friends, colleagues and neighbors I talked with are reaching the breaking point.

 

They are  experiencing mood changes. Indeed, the emotional effects of stress can have a serious impact on your day-to-day mood and mental health. Firstly, you may find that you’re feeling more irritated or pessimistic than usual. This mood change can then begin to affect your motivation to work, socialize with your loved ones or complete the things on your to-do list. If left unchecked, these feelings can threaten to completely overwhelm you, leaving you feeling apathetic, depressed, frustrated, panicky or trapped.

Many are having trouble sleeping. If you’re going through a stressful period in your life, you may have noticed just how difficult it can be to maintain a regular sleeping pattern. For instance, you may find it hard to fall or stay asleep at night. You may also have trouble getting up in the morning. A lack of proper sleep can leave you exhausted during the day which often leads to increased caffeine consumption which further exacerbates the issue. If left unmanaged, you may start feeling like you never have the energy for anything and soon reach an emotional breaking point.

A lot of people around me can’t seem to focus or concentrate properly. If you’re battling to concentrate, keep focused or remember certain things, this is a good indication that you’re feeling the effects of anxiety. These changes in thinking and memory (also known as “brain fog”) can occur when you’re trying to manage several stressful situations at once, which can make you confused and forgetful. These situations may include demanding jobs or emotionally-taxing tasks. Unregulated emotional exhaustion can really impact your attention, executive functioning (organizing and planning), and memory.
 

A lot of people are expressing  difficulty with personal relationships. You’ll often notice emotional exhaustion from prolonged stress manifesting in your relationship and your capacity to connect with your family on a meaningful emotional level. You may find yourself picking fights over small things, feeling angry at or unsatisfied with your partner or being overly judgemental. Tension in your close relationships can cause you to feel anxious, detached, and withdrawn which can make it difficult to ask for emotional support when you need it or be there for those you love.

A low self-esteem is being reported a lot these days. If lately you’ve found your mind overwhelmed with negative thoughts, you’ve probably also noticed their impact on how you view yourself. Perhaps you’re feeling more cynical and hopeless than usual? Or maybe you’ve lacked confidence in situations where you would normally speak up. At times, you may even have found yourself wondering if what you’re doing even matters anymore. It is important to recognize these changes. If left unchecked, these feelings may progress into symptoms of depression.

 

To stay in balance you need to turn these behaviors around. The smallest changes make a difference, but pay attention to changes that aren't so small, like getting enough sleep (without drugs), dealing with your anger and anxiety before they erupt, moving around during the day, making time to play, eating sensibly and simply being with yourself.

Especially during the pandemic, I learned that prevention is the best medicine. Reaching your breaking point means that you've crossed into the red zone, from which it's hard to return. You won't get to your red zone if you apply the habits of self-care I've just listed. The choice is really yours. Medical research has abundantly validated that being in balance is the healthiest way to live. Spend the next two weeks getting back into balance. You'll be amazed and pleased with the results. I adopted a certain "Bahala-na"-emotion especially when it comes to "bad news". I enjoy playing my piano and listening to wonderful relaxing music. I enjoy staying together with my family. I talked to God... .

Negativity kills

My column in Mindanao Daily Mirror and Mindanao Daily:

NEGATIVITY KILLS

Sometimes, we feel our life is turning miserably. Our negativity doesn't allow us to keep our eyes, ears - and, most important! -  our minds, hearts and souls opened. Were reaching our breaking point.

As I said several months ago here: this breaking point can be the prelude to our strongest moment. It is when we reach our breaking point, that we discover our real strength. Allow me to ask you, my dear readers, "What happens to you or with you when you reach your breaking point?" Do you face it or do you run away?

I'll be giving you a very simple answer: If you face it - you break it. If you run away (and/or close your ears, eyes and mouth) - it surely breaks you!

Everyday - a dull reality! Many of us will answer this question with a big YES! Actually we do like to cover a newborn day already with grey veil? Each day has a new face, but sometimes we don't have the strength to watch its countenance. Of course, not every day has adventures and highlights.

But we enjoy quarreling and arguing. With other people and even with ourselves.

Contrary to what might be expected, I look back on experiences that, at the same time, seemed especially desolating and painful with a particular satisfaction. Indeed, everything I have learned, everything that has truly enhanced and enlightened my existence, has been through affliction and not through happiness. 

If it ever were to be possible to eliminate affliction from your earthly existence, the result would not be make life delectable, but to make it too banal and trivial to be endurable. 

By observation, we can feel that many of us need help to manage the everyday life. We need something that would keep us going as we journey through life. Many times we can also learn from other people and their experiences.

Blue eyed or very philosophical but so very true: If the world is to be brought to order, a nation must be first changed.  If  nation isn' t be changed, my home town is to be reordered and must be first set be right, my dear brothers and sisters. And, one step further: If my family is to be regenerated, I MYSELF MUST FIRST BE!

And here is one more thing: Affection is the humblest love - it gives itself no airs. It lives with humble and private things: soft slippers, old clothes, old jokes, and the thump of a sleepy dog's tail on the kitchen floor. The glory of affection, the disposition of mind, the good will and tender attachment, is that it can unite those who are not "made for one and another", people. Who, if not out down by fate in the same household or community, would have nothing to do with one and another.

For me life has been a thing of ups and downs in approximately equal measure. I don't have something sensational to report every day about my progress. Often, I wonder if fulfillment in life is necessarily tied to change for the better.

Breaking point

TUE, JANUARY 31, 2017 BY THE MINDANAO DAILY MIRROR LEAVE A COMMENT

IN MY OPINIONKlaus Doring

Sometimes, we feel our life is turning miserably. Our negativism doesn’t allow us to keep our eyes, ears – and, most important! –  our minds, hearts and souls opened. We are reaching our breaking point!

But, this breaking point can be the prelude to our strongest moment. It is when we reach our breaking point, that we discover our real strength. Allow me to ask you, my dear readers; “What happen to you or with you when you reach your breaking point?” Do you face it or do you run away?  I’ll be giving you a very simple answer: If you face it – you break it. If you run away (and/or close your ears, eyes and mouth) – it breaks you!

Everyday – a dull reality! Many of us will answer this question with a big YES! Actually we like to cover a newborn day already with grey veil? Each day has a new face, but sometimes we don’t have the strength to watch its countenance. Of course, not every day has adventures and highlights.

Contrary to what might be expected, I look back on experiences that, at the same time, seemed especially desolating and painful with a particular satisfaction. Indeed, everything I have learned, everything that has truly enhanced and enlightened my existence, has been through affliction and not through happiness.

If it ever were to be possible to eliminate affliction from your earthly existence, the result would not  make life delectable, but to make it too banal and trivial to be endurable.

By observation, we can feel that many of us need help to manage the everyday life. We need something that would keep us going as we journey through life. Many times we can also learn from other people and their experiences.

Blue eyed or very philosophical but so very true: If the world is to be brought to order, my nation must be first changed. If my nation is to be changed, my home town is to be reordered and must be first set be right, my dear brothers and sisters. And, one step further: If my family is to be regenerated, I MYSELF MUST FIRST BE!

And here is one more thing: Affection is the humblest love – it gives itself no airs. It lives with humble and private things: soft slippers, old clothes, old jokes, and the thump of a sleepy dog’s tail on the kitchen floor. The glory of affection, the disposition of mind, the good will and tender attachment, is that it can unite those who are not “made for one and another’, people. Who, if not out down by fate in the same household or community, would have nothing to do with one and another.

For me life has been a thing of ups and downs in approximately equal measure. I don’t have something sensational to report every day about my progress. Often, I wonder if fulfillment in life is necessarily tied to change for the better.