You plan to move to the Philippines? Wollen Sie auf den Philippinen leben?

There are REALLY TONS of websites telling us how, why, maybe why not and when you'll be able to move to the Philippines. I only love to tell and explain some things "between the lines". Enjoy reading, be informed, have fun and be entertained too!

Ja, es gibt tonnenweise Webseiten, die Ihnen sagen wie, warum, vielleicht warum nicht und wann Sie am besten auf die Philippinen auswandern könnten. Ich möchte Ihnen in Zukunft "zwischen den Zeilen" einige zusätzlichen Dinge berichten und erzählen. Viel Spass beim Lesen und Gute Unterhaltung!


Visitors of germanexpatinthephilippines/Besucher dieser Webseite.Ich liebe meine Flaggensammlung!

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Wednesday, June 19, 2024

How Marian Rivera keeps kids protected amid change of weather

 

How Marian Rivera keeps kids protected amid change of weather

C. Mendez Legaspi - Philstar.com

MANILA, Philippines — Even as she reigns supreme as the "Kapuso Primetime Queen," Marian Rivera-Dantes still considers being a mother as her greatest blessing.

“Time, please slow down! I’m not ready for my babies to grow up so quickly #TimeFlies #CherishEveryMoments,” the movie box-office queen posted on her socials. 

At the 50th anniversary of Ceelin, “the unparalleled and most trusted immunity partner of moms for their kids,” Marian shared her wonderful and challenging experiences as a doting mom to Zia and Sixto.   

Marian is the ambassadress for the vitamin brand for several years running, and she swears by its health benefits as it caters to the unique needs of Filipino children with its range of drops, syrup, chewable, and gummy formats.

A grand celebration was held for the brand’s golden year at the Unilab Bayanihan Center in Mandaluyong City on May 17. One of the pressing concerns that was discussed about whether to let kids do activities outdoors or indoors. The star of the “My Guardian Angel” shared her thoughts:

“OK ako [to let kids play outdoors]. Pero, to be honest, 50-50 ako. Why? OK ako outdoors kasi alam ko mas marami sila matutunan. Pero sa weather kasi ngayon, depends pa rin if we go outdoors. Siguro tayo mga parents, titignan natin kung OK ba etong oras na ‘to lumabas?

“Baka ‘yung anak ko tirik ang araw, gusto maglaro ng basketball.’Ah, anak, sandali, baka pwede natin gawin na [at a later time]?’ So very mindful kami mag-asawa sa paglabos sa init lalo na ngayon.

“Syempre maganda pa rin outdoor kasi mga anak ko mahilig mag-swimming, mag-basketball, mag footbool, mag-rugby.

“Pero just in case lang na hindi pwede lumabas dahil sa weather, mahilig kasi kami mag crafts ng mga anak ko. So hindi ako nanininwala na hindi matututo ang bata sa loob ng bahay. Ung maabilidad kag magulang, kaya mong maging posible sa loob ng bahay.

“So, ganu'n kami. Nagka-crafts kami tatlo. So may idea sila na, ‘Mama, let’s do like this. Let’s do like that.’ O sige, game tayo. Sa pagka-craft namin, pati ako kasali dun. Mag-e-explain kami bakit ganun ang ginawa namin. So natututo kaming tatlo.”

THE KILLING WORKPLACE




By: Klaus Döring


I have experienced it many times. I have written about it many times. Nothing changed yet. Of course not! Even in times of pandemic, a workplace remains as a workplace. Even as a home office.


It's helpful to learn how to manage stress caused by work. If you often experience feelings of stress, you might be at risk of developing a mental health problem like depression or anxiety.


Stress can also make your existing mental health problems feel worse.


You don't need to cope with stress at work alone. Here are some general ideas you can try to help you manage:


Understand more about stress. Recognising the signs of stress and learning about the causes of stress is a good place to start.


Figure out what you find stressful and helpful. You could make a Wellness Action Plan to map out what causes you stress and what keeps you well. Once you know what's best, talk to your employer. They may be able to make some changes to help you.


Learn different coping techniques. Everyone deals with stress differently, so take time to find methods that work for you. Use them as soon as you start to feel pressure building. Check out the guides from the Stress Management Society for ideas.


Try practising mindfulness. This practice is about focusing on the here and now. It might help you to find calmness and clarity to respond to stressful situations. See our pages on mindfulness to learn more.


Look after your physical health. Eat well and try a gentle activity like going for a walk or doing a chair-based exercise. Our pages on physical activity and food and mood have more details on how this can help your mental health.


Fact is, nowadays, the modern workplace can inflict dangerous levels of stress on employees even more than decades ago. Jeffrey Pfeffer, author of "Dying for a Paycheck" , argues that these practices don’t help companies – and warns governments are ignoring an emerging public health crisis. Jeffrey Pfeffer is not the only one. Hundreds more followed Pfeffer's footsteps. 


We’ve all fallen victim to a job that seemed to suck the souls out of us. You might know the feeling — undue stress, high expectations, little return for hard work and so on. In a society that values hard work and professionalism, it can be difficult to recognize you’re in one of these toxic work situations.


Perhaps you’re the loyal type who’ll do anything for your employer, no matter the personal cost. Or the income is great, so you suffer through rough workdays to achieve your financial dreams. Others absolutely love their jobs but just can’t bring in the income they deserve. Whatever the reason, it might be time to let go of a toxic job if you find yourself saying "my job is killing me" and seek a better future. Here are five signs your job is killing you, along with how to find a better one.


It can be difficult to decide if you should stick through a rough patch at work or move on to something better. But how do you know if you should leave your job?  Here are some signs that your current job is not adding value to your life.


1. You dread going into work. It can take some time to get adjusted to a new job. But if you’ve been at it for months and still have trouble walking through the door without your chest tightening, it might be a sign that it’s time to move on. Don’t spend your life working at a job that fills you with constant dread.


2. There’s no opportunity for advancement. So, you’ve been with your company for some time, but it seems like you’ve hit a wall. Perhaps you’ve been passed on multiple promotions or you’ve asked for advancement opportunities and hit a dead end. Why stay at a job where you aren’t allowed to grow and achieve your very best?


3. You work with toxic people. Toxic people in the workplace can be a killer. Sometimes it’s just one or two coworkers who you can learn to live with. Other times, a manager or supervisor makes it impossible for you to succeed. You’ll probably never feel comfortable or happy in a workplace filled with negative energy.


4. The work is too easy or too challenging. Work with no challenges is boring. You need to face challenges so you can overcome them and grow in your confidence.  At the same time, a job that is much too challenging can make you feel incompetent and stressed. It’s important to find work that allows you to face and solve obstacles while not killing yourself in the process.


5. Work is impacting your personal life. If your job is causing so much chaos that you can’t sleep at night, it’s probably time to move on. Likewise, a job that cuts into your personal time can take a hit on your family and social life. Everyone needs downtime. Don’t let your job suck everything out of you.


When you’ve finally decided enough is enough, make sure to resign with grace. You don’t want to burn bridges, lose a potential reference or hurt your valuable reputation. Show your employer respect if you want to be respected in return.


Just because you’ve resigned doesn’t mean you should drop everything and skate through your last days. Show some self-respect by continuing to perform your job to your best ability. You are still being paid for your time, so make sure you are earning that pay fairly. Finish your last days with grace.


Of course, a stressful job can definitely affect your health negatively. People can only undergo a certain amount of stress before their bodies begin to suffer. Stress can cause headaches, insomnia and even paralysis when severe enough. It can also trigger symptoms of underlying mental illness. Overloads of stress can go as far as causing conditions like hypertension and stroke.


Of course it’s okay to quit! Not all employers and employees are good matches. Don’t spend your life being miserable because you feel obligated to stick with a dead-end job. Yes, your employer may be disappointed when you go, but that’s their problem, not yours. Just be sure you are quitting for the right reasons, not because of a personal vendetta. Also, make sure you’ve given a new job enough time to make an accurate assessment — it can take two or three months before you feel comfortable at a new job.


But some leaders are taking this idea of stewardship seriously. Companies such as Patagonia, Collective Health, SAS Institute, Google, John Lewis Partnership – which is employee-owned – and Zillow provide a template of what might be different. As I said, SOME leaders. Really only a very few. Not enough. I guess most leaders really don't care about their staff.


People get paid time off and are expected to use it. Managers don’t send emails or texts at all hours – people work, go home and have time to relax and refresh. The organisations offer accommodations so that people can have both a job and a family life. People are treated like adults and have control over what they do and how they do it to meet their job responsibilities, not micromanaged.


If your job is causing undue work stress in your life, take a moment to reassess the situation. It’s easy to have an overachiever mentality — until it makes you sick or shatters your personal life. Take some time to assess your life — your work responsibilities, your level of quality personal time and your health. If you want to be happy, it’s important to keep these areas of life well-balanced.


Most importantly, the companies are led by individuals who take their obligations to their people seriously. SAS Institute has a chief health officer whose job is not just to control costs but also to ensure employees are as healthy as possible.  Bob Chapman recognises that everyone who comes to work at Barry-Wehmiller is “someone’s precious child” or family member.


People need to choose their employer not just for salary and promotion opportunities but on the basis of whether the job will be good for their psychological and physical health. Business leaders should measure the health of their workforce, not just profits.


And governments concerned about the health-care cost crisis need to focus on the workplace, because workplace stress is clearly making people sick. None of this is necessary – no one should be dying for a paycheck.

CHED crafting master plan to address healthcare worker shortage in the Philippines



The Commission on Higher Education (CHED) announced on Tuesday, June 18, that they are preparing a "master plan" to present to President Marcos, aimed at addressing the shortage of healthcare workers in the Philippines.

MB file photo nurses.jpg
MB FILE

During the Memorandum of Agreement (MOA) signing between CHED and UNILAB for the Training of Trainers Program on Suicide Prevention and Awareness in Higher Education Institutions, CHED Chairperson Prospero "Popoy" de Vera III shared with the media their three-year action plan.

He said this plan will be presented to President Marcos on June 19 and is based on assessments conducted with industry experts. 

"We're now going into the other programs because from the hospitals, from industry, they're saying that the next batch na kukulangin na tayo includes physical therapy, medtech, radiologic technology, occupational therapy," De Vera said.

(We are now addressing other programs because, according to the hospitals and the industry, the next areas where we will be lacking include physical therapy, medical technology, radiologic technology, and occupational therapy).

"So now we are developing a master plan. According to the assessment of the industry and experts, it’s not as critical as the nursing shortage right now," he added in a mix of English and Filipino.

De Vera noted that this initiative will outline strategies to increase the number of professionals, incentivize the stay-pay bill, and implement other measures for these professions. 

Meanwhile, addressing nursing graduates, De Vera underscored that CHED will provide fully funded review classes for 500 graduates aiming to take the Philippine Nurses Licensure Examination (NLE).

"For nurses, 51 percent of all registered nurses are practicing their professions overseas. So only 49 percent are left here, not all are nurses anymore," he said.

"Out of the 49 percent, about 25 percent are in hospitals. The rest are in call centers. Nursing graduates opt for call center jobs because they can earn higher salaries there due to medical transcription opportunities," he explained. 

Tourism sector contributes 8.6% to Philippine economy in 2023

 



This photo taken on December 11, 2023 shows tour boats sailing back to El Nido, Palawan province.


Gabriell Christel Galang - Philstar.com


MANILA, Philippines — The share of Tourism Direct Gross Value Added (TDGVA) in the Philippine economy reached its highest level last year since 2000, the Philippine Statistics Authority (PSA) reported.

In a statement on Tuesday, the PSA reported that the 2023 TDGVA increased by 8.6%, reaching P2.09 trillion. This represents a nearly 48% rise from the previous year's TDGVA of P1.41 trillion.

The PSA first measured the TDGVA nearly 24 years ago, assessing its contribution to the country's gross domestic product.

According to PSA undersecretary and national statistician Claire Dennis Mapa, the tourism satellite account evaluates the numbers based on accommodation services, food and beverage serving activities, transportation, travel agencies, other reservation services, among others.

Last year's data revealed that inbound tourism expenditure surged by 87.7%, reaching P697.46 billion, marking the highest annual growth rate on record.

Domestic tourism followed closely, increasing by 72.3% to reach P2.67 trillion, up from P1.55 trillion in 2022.

Outbound tourism went from P189 billion to P208 billion year-on-year, noting a 10% jump in expenditure.

Internal tourism, including inbound and domestic expenditure, soared by 75.3% from P1.9 trillion in 2022 to P3.36 trillion in 2023.

Employment or tourism careers, on the other hand, increased by 6.4% from 5.84 million in tourism characteristic industries to 6.21 million.

“The share of employment in tourism industries to the total employment in the country in 2023 was recorded at 12.9%,” Mapa said.

Do “meinen” and “bedeuten” have the same meaning in German?

 

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Alice Milne
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Freelance technical translator/interpreter

Born in Scotland, but half French. Bilingual in Standard English and French from infancy. Became trilingual (adding High German) from mid-teens/early twenties, kick-started by full immersion in German family including attendance in different schools. Added Spanish by working in Spain for a while. Can read other Germanic and Romance European languages. Also reasonably knowledgeable about Scottish and German dialects.

Background in science and engineering through school, university, vocational and professional experience.

I only comment when I feel I have anything sensible to say.


Do “meinen” and “bedeuten” have the same meaning in German? What’s their use in everyday conversation?

Q: “Do “meinen” and “bedeuten” have the same meaning in German? What’s their use in everyday conversation?”


To add to Philip Newton’s excellent explanation, I’ll address the second part of the question about their use in everyday conversation.


Meinen can also mean “think” or “have an opinion”.


If you are discussing a problem, you might turn to someone and ask “Was meinst du/meinen Sie?”(What do you think? / What’s your opinion?)


Or when reporting what someone else said, you could say “Das wird schweirig, meinte er zumindest.” This would translate as “that will be difficult, or at least that’s what he said / or at least that’s what he thinks”. As in English, this can be uttered neutrally, but if the “er” is emphasized, it may mean the person reporting is doubtful as to whether the other person is correct.


This ties in with the meaning of the noun Meinung = opinion.


If you think back to C18 and C19 English literature, this use of meinen also ties in with the alternative to he or she “said” in dialogue sequences: “opined”.


Bedeuten can also mean “to have implications” as in “Was bedeutet das für uns?”, which is a question often posed after unexpected events or changes of policy or management. Basically, it can be translated as “How will that affect us?”.


When bedeuten is used with a human subject or indirect object, we move into the realm of emotions or importance of things or people on an emotional level. “Was bedeutet es dir?” is a way of asking someone how they feel about something - a profession, a hobby, an object, for example. “Was bedeutet er/sie dir?” is a way of asking how someone feels about another person or how they view that person in terms of human relationships (friend, lover, mentor, fatherly or motherly figure, etc.)

Tuesday, June 18, 2024

BLACKPINK’s Rosé signs management contract with The Black Label

BY JONATHAN HICAP


BLACKPINK member Rosé signed a management contract for her solo activities with The Black Label founded by former YG Entertainment producer Teddy. 

The Black Label is an affiliate company of YG Entertainment. Its current artists are Park Bogum, Taeyang, Jeon Somi, Zion.T, Vince, Loren, R.Tee, Bryan Chase, Lee Jong-won and Ella Gross. 

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BLACKPINK's Rosé (Instagram)TheBlackLabel1.jpg

The Black Label (Facebook)


All BLACKPINK members are under YG Entertainment for their group activities. They did not sign contracts for their solo activities with the agency. 

Teddy is a producer for BLACKPINK and is the general producer at The Black Label. 

Lisa, Jennie and Jisoo previously announced separate agencies for their solo activities.  

“We have signed a management contract with artist Rosé. Producer Teddy and artist Rosé, who have worked together as producers and artists for a long time, recently signed a management contract with The Black Label based on their deep trust in each other,” The Black Label announced on June 18.  

It added, “Rosé is currently preparing to meet global fans with new music, and plans to carry out music activities around the world with global record labels in the future.”

“Please look forward to the best synergy between Rosé, who has a unique musical color, and The Black Label, which pursues artists' freedom of activity. We promise that we will not spare any support in the future so that Rosé can be active in more diverse fields,” it added. 

Monday, June 17, 2024

ARTS AND CULTURE Celebrating diversity and pride: TikTok’s vibrant LGBTQIA+ community


(From left) TikTok creators and personalities Marina Summers, Eva LeQueen, Roanne and Tina, and Paul Sumayao

Philstar.com

June 14, 2024 | 4:55pm


MANILA, Philippines — TikTok has become a vibrant and inclusive space where Filipinos from all walks of life find empowerment and community. Through its platform, TikTok aims to enable authentic self-expression while ensuring that it remains a safe and positive space.

This Pride Month, TikTok celebrates and uplifts the voices of queer creators who inspire and advocate for a more inclusive world through the hashtags #ForYourPride and #YouBelongHere.

From entertaining makeup transformations to heartfelt discussions on embracing authenticity, these queer creators are leveraging TikTok to champion inclusivity and pride. With each video, they redefine visibility and celebration, fostering a more inclusive digital landscape.

Ready for a rainbow-infused TikTok experience? Check this list of creators who are sure to fill your feed with fabulous and inclusive content.


Marina Summers

Marina Summers’ journey from TV and advertising producer to drag queen extraordinaire is a testament to the power of self-expression and resilience. Having graced the stages of Drag Race Philippines and captivated audiences on RuPaul's Drag Race: UK vs. the World, Marina’s ascent to fame inspires members of the LGBTQIA+ community seeking to unleash their creativity and authenticity.

“TikTok gave me my first million views and viral moments,” Marina shares. “It helped in cementing the idea of Marina Summers, especially the brand online. It democratizes creativity and inspires the whole world to discover their artistic expression.”

Through TikTok, Marina showcases her glamorous performances and infuses them with meme-worthy comedy content. For her, TikTok represents a platform that empowers queer Filipinos and provides them with bigger stages to shine on.

“It proves that not only are we worthy of the spotlight, but we are also admired,” she proudly asserts.



Eva LeQueen

From the stiff corporate life to the dazzling world of drag, Eva Le Queen’s transformation is undoubtedly one for the books. The competitive contestant of the inaugural season of Drag Race Philippines was a former overseas Filipino worker in Singapore before she boldly pursued her passion for drag.

Remarkably, within four months of her drag debut, Eva clinched the first runner-up title at Singapore’s Drag It Out All-Stars competition, showcasing her rapid ascent and innate talent.

“During the pandemic, the world of drag queens closed down,” Eva recalls. “We started #KeepDragAlive and brought drag online through TikTok. It provided access to many talented individuals who wanted to explore drag.”

TikTok offered a platform for Eva to share tutorials and transformation videos and facilitated the growth of the drag community in the Philippines. “TikTok provided access to all queens, all kids who wanted to take part in the art form,” Eva emphasizes. “It's high time to do drag in the Philippines, and TikTok has been instrumental in bridging that gap.”



Paul Sumayao of Barbierro

In the Philippines, traditional gender norms have long determined the acceptable spaces for haircuts: salons for women and barbershops for men. Unfortunately, this binary system has left many in the trans and queer community feeling uncomfortable, unwelcome and uncertain.

Paul Sumayao believes that, “Ang buhok ay walang kasarian” (Hair has no gender). He advocates for self-expression through style, affirming that everyone deserves a hairstyle that makes them feel their best.

Consequently, he co-founded Barbierro, the Philippines’ pioneering queer barbershop, with a mission to create safe spaces for the queer community through superior grooming services. TikTok played a pivotal role in amplifying his message and connecting with a wider audience.

“Through TikTok, we found out that many of our transmen and lesbian brothers and sisters felt ostracized during haircuts,” Paul shares. “TikTok helped us hear their stories and provided a platform to engage with thm.”

For Paul, Barbierro Barbershop represents more than just a business—it’s a legacy of acceptance and empowerment. “Establishing a safe space called Barbierro Barbershop is our way of leaving something behind for young queer kids everywhere,” Paul affirms.

“And with TikTok’s support, we can reach even more people and let them know that #YouBelongHere.”



Roanne and Tina

Roanne and Tina, the dynamic duo behind Queer Safe Spaces Inc., have been vocal advocates for love, acceptance and inclusivity. Their journey on TikTok has been a testament to the platform’s ability to amplify marginalized voices and spark meaningful conversations.

“Thanks to TikTok, we feel heard and seen,” Roanne expresses. “It served as an entry point for our partnership with TikTok Philippines, leading to initiatives like the Queer Prom co-presented by TikTok.”

Having faced their share of struggles as a queer couple, Tina and Roanne empathize with the challenges encountered by fellow LGBTQIA+ individuals. This empathy led them to establish Queer Safe Spaces Inc., which is dedicated to fostering a supportive environment for the Filipino LGBTQIA+ community and their allies.

Their partnership with TikTok Philippines has enabled them to reach a wider audience and advocate for LGBTQIA+ rights more effectively. Through creative campaigns and collaborations, they’ve amplified their message of love and acceptance, paving the way for transformative initiatives like the Queer Prom: You Belong Here, a fundraising effort to establish a physical safe space center for the Filipino LGBTQIA+ community.

“We hope that through initiatives like the Queer Prom, we can provide a physical institution that addresses the diverse needs of our community,” Tina explains. “Because everyone deserves to feel validated and loved, and TikTok has been instrumental in amplifying that message.”



Editor’s Note: This press release is sponsored by TikTok. It is published by the Advertising Content Team that is independent from our Editorial Newsroom.


Public service… is it for you?

THERE'S HOPE!

BY GODDES HOPE O. LIBIRAN

GUEST COLUMNIST

GODDES HOPE.jpg

Public service is often romanticized as a noble endeavor, a calling for the greater good. The reality of being a public servant, however, is far from simple or ceremonial. 


Government work entails navigating complex bureaucratic processes, balancing diverse stakeholder interests, and enduring intense public scrutiny, all while striving to deliver essential services with limited resources.


In the case of the Department of Budget and Management (DBM), managing the budget while attempting to address the diverse and growing needs of various sectors is a constant challenge. We likewise have to deal with economic challenges, inflation, and other macroeconomic factors that can affect revenue collection and budget planning. So many factors are at play.


It is especially challenging now that it is the budget season, a critical time for the Philippine government, when we set the financial framework for the country's programs and initiatives, influencing economic development and public service delivery.


Two weeks ago, I participated in a series of Executive Review Board (ERB) meetings, where I witnessed the dedication and resilience of the top brass of DBM. For context, the ERB consists of the DBM leadership, headed by Secretary Amenah “Mina” F. Pangandaman. It evaluates all proposals and funding amounts from agencies, for inclusion in the proposed National Expenditure Program (NEP). The finalized NEP is then presented to the President and the Cabinet, and, once approved, to Congress for scrutiny. 


The late nights, the tireless efforts, and the unwavering commitment to ensuring that every budget allocation is meticulously reviewed and justified—all these are part and parcel of the process. I salute the individuals who sacrifice a great deal of time and energy to guarantee that every session is productive and every decision is made with the nation’s best interests in mind.


One of the most demanding aspects of our role at the DBM is the delicate balancing act we must perform. We have to serve the interests of both the public and private sectors, a responsibility that requires not only a keen understanding of economic principles but also a deep empathy for the needs and aspirations of the people.


On one hand, we must ensure that public funds are allocated efficiently and effectively, supporting essential services such as healthcare, education, and infrastructure. These allocations directly impact the quality of life of Filipinos and are crucial for the nation's development.


On the other hand, we must consider the needs of the private sector, which drives economic growth and creates employment opportunities. Striking the right balance between these often-competing interests is no easy feat and requires a nuanced approach that takes into account the broader economic landscape and the long-term implications of our decisions.


Beyond DBM, and I have said this often, public service is not for the weak-kneed and craven. It is a thankless job that tests your strength and deprives you of sleep. There are times when you will experience spending days away from family, and yet, in return, you get to be the public’s object of ridicule, hate, and mockery. But, still, you have to always work hard.


Serving the public involves a level of dedication and resilience that few other professions require. The scrutiny we face, both from the public and from various stakeholders, can be intense. Further, the pressure to deliver results promptly, often with limited resources, can be overbearing.


Reflecting on the DBM once more, the duty of managing the nation’s budget is enormous, with high stakes. Any misstep can have far-reaching consequences, affecting millions of lives and the country’s economic stability. This is why I am incredibly impressed by how Sec. Mina handles these complexities with remarkable skill.


Of course, despite these tribulations, there is a profound sense of fulfillment in public service. The knowledge that our work has the potential to create positive change and improve the lives of our fellow citizens is great motivation. It is this sense of purpose that keeps us going, even when the going gets tough.


Public service may be an unforgiving and often unappreciated work, but it remains an essential and honorable pursuit. For those who choose this path, the merits are not measured in accolades or financial gain but in the lasting impact of their work on the nation and the Filipinos.


There is hope!

Daddy underrated

Or why fathers are underappreciated for the role they play in parenting


AT A GLANCE

  • He promised us that everything would be okay. I was a child, but I knew that everything would not be okay. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my father. — Jonathan Safran Foer


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Dads are different now.

I’d go as far as saying that men are different now. As a result of decades or centuries of struggle for gender rights and equality, where women—and the LGBTQ+ community—have been historically the ones struggling, fighting, the men aren’t exactly the oppressors anymore.

At least not in my world, at least not within my circle in Manila, where women have always been powerful, such great characters equal to men in terms of intelligence, cunning, potential, and sometimes even physical strength.

I’m no father, but I’ve had the privilege of playing a major role in raising two nieces and a nephew and, as they were growing up, I could see a sort of reversal of roles. The girls, having been brought up in #metoo time, encouraged to be ever braver, more aggressive, less compromising, have turned out to be more independent, less needy whereas the boy, my nephew, is proving to be more affectionate, more expressive, more sensitive, even more clingy, and that’s because the world has been nagging boys like him to be kinder, gentler, more attuned to their “feminine” side, more open to their emotions. Men are being asked to be more like women while women are being asked to be more like men.

I don’t know how this reversal of roles will play out once these kids become parents themselves.

My father became a parent at a time distant parenting was the norm. To be fair, so was my mother, but women in those times were constrained to be the caring, nurturing side of the parental team. It was the mother who woke up to get their children ready for school. It was the mother children looked for if they were running a fever or they bruised up from a fall or if they needed money for school projects. The men, on the other hand, were expected to be the breadwinner, the provider and, if we must go by stereotypes, did not really take an active role in their children’s lives. At any rate, while I was growing up, most of the parenting chores were delegated to the yaya, the nanny, who often became as close to their wards as the parents in addition to becoming confidante. The role of fathers in our lives, unlike mothers, aren’t sentimentalized. If it’s given any thought, it is often underrated. The phrase “Mother knows best” isn’t exactly innocent in establishing the role assigned to each gender. It implies, maybe without meaning to, that it is their mother children should turn to should they find themselves in any sort of conundrum. 

Even the celebration of Mother’s Day goes earlier back in time, all the way to the 1860s, whereas the seed of a Father’s Day celebration was only planted in 1910 when, inspired by a West Virginia church initiative of delivering a sermon in tribute to the 362 men who perished in a mine explosion in 1907, Sonora Smart Dodd, who worked briefly in fashion for Hollywood, pledged to celebrate it in honor of her father, the American Civil War veteran William Jackson Smart. I hope we are different now, although it’s funny how now we applaud the dad who walks his daughter to school and still condemn the mother who arrives half an hour late at the schoolyard to pick up her son. The burden of societal expectations on mothers is still heavier, but I suppose more and more of that weight is being transferred to the father, who is now expected to hold his wife’s hand while she is giving birth, who is now expected to take turns with his co-parent to feed the baby or change his or her diaper, or read a child a story at bedtime.

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MEMORIES OF A FATHER My father was a distant authority, but he was allpresent, a great inspiration — his love of movies, music, good food, and coffee made a lifelong mark on me

I have no qualms about the way my father raised me, although I could say he was technically an absent parent, as far as the chores of parenthood were concerned. I don’t remember him ever taking me to National Book Store to buy my books, notebooks, and school supplies at the opening of a new schoolyear. I don’t remember him ever helping me tie my shoelaces, put on my socks, or button my shirt. Did he ever put a towel on my back when I was all sweaty in the playground? Or made an airplane of a spoonful of carrots and broccoli on its way to my cave of a mouth to get me to eat my veggies? And did he ever read me passages of The Wizard of Oz at bedtime?

Maybe not, but my father was all-present, a looming figure, a giant in my eyes growing up, even if he was mostly out. He did hold my hand walking into a dark theater in what used to be Quad in Makati to watch King Kong or Star Wars. He did carry me on his shoulders so I could have a good look at the animated Christmas display at COD (Christmas on Display) in Cubao, Quezon City. He took me and the rest of the family to occasional dinners that were always special, costing more than my mother would consider reasonable.

My father never told me what I should be, what I should do, what success or failure should mean to me. He let me figure it all out on my own, unaware that I took cues from everything he did, like the newspaper he would tuck in his armpit on his way to the bathroom, or the way he would rhapsodize over Marlon Brando, whistle a tune from The Bridge Over the River Kwai, or talk at length about his opinion on the Cold War, the benefits and repercussions of nuclear energy, and the complexity of time as caught in the very first of The Terminator franchise.

I think the most important thing he had ever done for me as a father, eclipsing what today’s standards might consider his omissions or even negligence, is that at no point in my life, even in those times I was at odds with him with my teen hormones in full attack mode, did I ever have to doubt that he cared for me and, more important, that he loved me.