Coming home to yourself: Love, boundaries, and the power of women

BY GODDES HOPE O. LIBIRAN

Apr 27, 2025 06:20 AM 

GUEST COLUMNIST

 

In the Philippines, love is often seen as an all-consuming, all-sacrificing force—a value woven tightly into our c

While the spirit of generosity behind these traits is beautiful, they can sometimes be distorted. When love requires the erasure of self, patience becomes permission for neglect, and endurance becomes a badge of honor for suffering, it ceases to be love and instead becomes martyrdom.

We must not overlook the latter half of the second great commandment: "as you love yourself."

Self-love is not a betrayal of our Filipino values or Christian faith—it is, in fact, their true fulfillment. We cannot pour from an empty cup. A heart that loves wisely, including itself, is a heart that gives more abundantly, more sustainably.

Studies have shown that mental health challenges among Filipino women are often linked to emotional strain within personal relationships, especially when coupled with psychological and economic burdens. For example, a population-based study published in BMC Public Health found that Filipino women who experience psychological or economic abuse report significantly higher levels of psychological distress and suicidal ideation.

In other words, women are often weighed down by the silent burdens they carry, emotional labor, and the unseen sacrifices and endurance. When love demands women’s suffering instead of supporting their growth, it becomes a chain, not a refuge. Love is not meant to strip you bare.

It is a radical act of courage to say that "I deserve a love that nourishes me, not drains me." Do not mistake surviving from loving. It is self-respect to prioritize yourself, especially in a world that so often romanticizes women's self-sacrifice.

There’s an essential truth often overshadowed by the ideal of undying love: some relationships serve as lessons rather than lifelong commitments, akin to the changing seasons that bring both beauty and decay. They are transformative experiences meant to teach us about ourselves and our limits. It is important to recognize that a heart is not an inexhaustible resource to be mined, nor is patience a metric of one’s value. 

There is a love that waits for you—one that does not ask you to shrink or shatter, but to stand. One where you are seen without translation. One where you bloom without apology.
It's time we normalize a healthier kind of love where setting boundaries is not selfishness, but wisdom; staying is a choice, not an obligation; and women are celebrated not just for how much they can endure, but for how bravely they can protect their joy, dignity, and dreams.

It’s true, love is often pictured as a sanctuary, a place where our souls are nourished, our laughter rings out without fear, and even our sorrows find tender hands to cradle them. We envision it as a boundless field where the sun never sets and wildflowers bloom in endless celebration. And indeed, it can be, when we allow love to flourish in its truest, most nurturing form.

Perhaps, it’s long overdue to choose yourself. The garden you forgot to tend is calling you home.

There is Hope!
 

 

Suspending licenses: A bold strike vs bad drivers on our roads

BY MANILA BULLETIN

Apr 27, 2025 06:21 AM

  

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Early this week, the Land Transportation Office (LTO) suspended the driver’s license of each of the 671 erring motorists and summoned over 1,100 motor vehicle owners who failed to properly maintain their vehicles during the random roadworthiness inspections across the country. 

LTO chief, Assistant Secretary Vigor D. Mendoza II called the move “unprecedented” and said that the agency has “never really reached this level before” but it needs to be done to keep our roads safe. 

This move should be the beginning of a long-overdue and necessary action. This sweeping crackdown should be a bold declaration that the era of tolerating reckless, entitled, and often dangerous motorists will finally come to an end, hopefully, soon.

These numbers were apprehensions done only during Holy Week, a time when roads out of the cities were clogged by the exodus of people going to the provinces. Yet in one week – 574 of the suspended licenses were linked to road accidents, while 97 public utility vehicle (PUV) drivers tested positive for illegal drugs.

These are not minor infractions; they are indicators of a culture of disregard for road safety. The fact that these violations occurred in just one week makes the crackdown all the more urgent and justified.

For too long, motorists who treat traffic rules as mere suggestions have turned our roads into deadly battlegrounds. Road rage incidents have claimed lives, such as the high-profile cases of aggressive drivers attacking fellow motorists, often with tragic consequences. Meanwhile, poorly maintained vehicles frequently lead to breakdowns and accidents that endanger everyone on the road, from pedestrians to passengers. Add to that the presence of many motorcycle riders weaving in and out of traffic simply because the size of their vehicles make it possible to do so.

The government’s decisive action, spearheaded by Department of Transportation (DOTr) Secretary Vince Dizon and LTO Chief Assistant Secretary Mendoza, is a commendable step toward implementing order and imposing accountability. By suspending licenses and issuing show cause orders (SCOs), authorities are not only enforcing the law but also sending a clear message: road safety is a non-negotiable priority.

Dizon has vowed that the government will continue the campaign in the coming weeks to make the roads safer for all. His message to the public, that reckless and abusive drivers will lose their licenses, is the kind of no-nonsense stance that road safety advocates and ordinary commuters alike have long waited to hear.

Let’s not forget the viral case in La Union, where a bus driver ignored the pleas of his passengers to slow down. That the government revoked his license shows a zero-tolerance policy toward such arrogance and negligence. These acts of enforcement must be followed through consistently—not just for headlines but for real, lasting change.

The problem of reckless driving is not limited to blatant traffic violations. It is a symptom of a broader societal illness—an indifference to rules, a resistance to discipline, and a disregard for others. Discipline, after all, is not merely about punishment; it is about cultivating responsibility.

There is still a long way to go. Enforcement alone will not solve everything. Driver education, road infrastructure, and proper vehicle inspections must all be part of the equation. But this latest action is a strong, confident first step—and it deserves praise. 

The crackdown on undisciplined  drivers is not just about punishing bad behavior. It’s about saving lives. And in that mission, there is no room for compromise.

The People’s Pope and the Filipino soul

BY MANILA BULLETIN

Apr 26, 2025 00:04 AM 

 

Filipinos are deeply mourning the death of Pope Francis,  More than a spiritual leader, he was a shepherd who embraced the margins, a reformer who challenged convention, and a father figure who taught the world the power of Mercy and Compassion—the very theme of his apostolic visit to the Philippines in January 2015.

His visit to the Philippines evoked reverence and affection; it served as an occasion for national reflection, renewal, and collective grace. Pope Francis comforted a nation still reeling from the devastation of Typhoon Yolanda (Haiyan). In the rain-soaked Mass in Tacloban, he stood in silent solidarity with survivors, his words and tears blending with those of the people.

We were reminded that in March 2020, as the coronavirus pandemic swept the world, he stood alone in a tent on St. Peter’s square and delivered a reassuring message. As cited in St. Matthew’s gospel, Jesus asked his disciples, "Why are you so afraid?"  after they woke him up in the middle of a storm, fearing they were going to drown. He then rebuked the wind and waves, and they became calm.

His Mass at Luneta drew an estimated six million faithful—perhaps the largest papal gathering in history. Amid a sea of humanity, Pope Francis called on us to “learn how to weep” for the suffering of others, to rediscover simplicity, and to protect our children, our poor, and our environment. In Malacañang, he urged our leaders to reject corruption and serve with integrity. At the Mall of Asia Arena and the University of Santo Tomas, he addressed the youth, reminding them to keep their dreams alive, and to find joy in service. And at Manila Cathedral, he called on the clergy and consecrated persons to be humble and poor, faithful stewards of God’s mercy.

After his wake and burial, the world looks to the Sistine Chapel, where the College of Cardinals will soon gather in conclave to elect the 267th successor of Saint Peter. Among the electors are three Filipino cardinals—Jose F. Advincula, Pablo Virgilio David, and  Luis Antonio G. Tagle, currently pro-prefect of the Dicastery for Evangelization and a figure often mentioned as papabile—a potential pope. 

For many Filipinos, the prospect of Cardinal Tagle ascending to the papacy involves  more than national pride. It is a testament to the universal Church’s recognition of Asia’s growing spiritual energy and the enduring faith of the Filipino people, now the third-largest Catholic population in the world.  Cardinal Tagle, known for his humility, pastoral sensibility, and theological depth, shares many traits with Pope Francis. Whether or not he is chosen, his presence among the frontrunners affirms the unique contribution of the Filipino Church to global Catholicism.

As the conclave convenes, the world yearns for continuity in compassion, moral courage, and joyful simplicity. Pope Francis set a tone of inclusivity, emphasizing mercy over judgment, engagement over exclusion. He championed the poor, listened to the youth, welcomed those on the periphery, and challenged the Church to be more Christ-like.

The next pope must walk in this same light—accessible, grounded, and prophetic—a shepherd who smells like the sheep, as Pope Francis once said. The Filipino nation, deeply grateful for the gift of his life and leadership, now joins the rest of the Catholic world in prayerful hope that the next Vicar of Christ will continue to be a bridge-builder, a healer, and a voice for those who suffer.

Psychology says:

1. If someone laughs a lot, even at silly things, they might feel lonely inside.

2. If someone sleeps a lot, they might be sad.

3. If someone talks very little but quickly, they could be hiding secrets.

4. If a person can't cry, they might be feeling weak.

5. If someone eats in an unusual way, they could be feeling stressed.

6. If someone cries over small things, they are likely gentle and kind.

7. If someone gets mad over tiny things, they probably need more love.

It’s good to try to understand how people feel.