Splendid Isolation

My column in BusinessWeek Mindanao, Mindanao Daily and Cagayan de Oro Times

Social anxiety is the single most common psychological problem according to innumerable survey results worldwide. The magnificent, gorgeous and excellent isolation, resulting out of being nervous when meeting people is really the opposite. The state of being isolated reminds me of being in a hospital with an infectious disease.

Does the project of giving a speech or going to a social gathering give you the willies?

Relax, there are always ways and solutions to help you by teaching you "never to be nervous again". 

During the last weeks, I experienced several situations meeting new people, asking questions, replying to questions delivering speeches. 

I have been always the most silent pupil in elementary and high school. I was ashamed even to talk to or with my teachers. Several terrible school records have been the result. But, I wanted to become a journalist. I am still one. And, I am teaching in Davao in the University of Southeastern Philippines, as some of you might know already. 

During college times and while writing my first articles, I learned from my first boss, a daily news publisher, to avoid being nervous while meeting people. I was always prepared. Preparation for any communicating situation is a must. I have been invited to many parties and gatherings. I always asked for the guest list. I scanned all newspapers and browsed in the net. 

"In your opinion, who..." or "What do you think of....?" kept the momentum going. That was sometime during the 1960s. Since that time I was just very lucky to meet always the right people at the right time and place, which kept on teaching me how to avoid splendid isolation. Whether you're delivering a speech, approaching your boss, or joining an important social occasion, do at first your homework.

The most polished, smoothly delivered and spontaneous soundings talks are the result of many hours of work and years long experiences. The memorable one-liners and moving phrases that went down in history didn't come from the last minute bursts of inspiration.

I also learned from Harvard University historian Richard Marius, "that good writing is a kind of wresting with thought". Or, as New York Times columnist William Safire expressed before: "To communicate, put your thoughts in order, give them a purpose, use them to persuade, to instruct, to discover, to seduce!"

Let's don't forget, that everyone of us has something to be proud of, and that everyone enjoys talking about it. But, you have to make it happen!