Why do Filipinos like to make indirect potshots ("patama") ...

... instead of directly saying their issues to the person they're saying the remarks to?

Holly Benedicto

Bisaya. Has travelled all over the Philippines, some Asian countries and the United States. Scientific background. Has worked extensively with Americans.

Filipinos are non-confrontational.

We prefer passive aggression to actually getting into an altercation with someone.

There is a stigma against people who are too assertive, too “strong”, too vocal, especially when it’s a woman. But because we are non-confrontational, we just avoid these people or keep quiet until we reach a boiling point. Same approach with any problems. Many Filipinos strive for “peace” and love the quote, “be positive! “. To a point, it becomes toxic positivity.

That boiling point differs. For some, it never comes. For others, it might fizzle out. Some might never forget and it gets passed down from one generation to the next. But it never gets addressed.