Why did Metro Manila not become one city?

George Bennett

I’m proud to be a Filipino, and an Asian.

#StopAsianHate

But instead it became 16 cities as it is today, even though if we compare the area and population of Metro Manila is equivalent to the average area and population of big cities in the world?

Because it wasn’t meant to be just one city. It was meant to be a province.

Metro Manila is the modern-day restoration of the historic Province of Manila (formerly called Tondo until the 1850s). The province of Manila’s territory encompassed the pre-hispanic states of Namayan, Tondo, and Maynila

The cities we know now in Metro Manila are basically the same municipalities and arrabales that made up the province of Manila until it was dissolved in 1901 to make way for the creation of the Province of Rizal, which took territories from both Manila and Morong provinces.

During the American Period, Manila was treated the same way as Washington D.C., a separate, unincorporated area we call a chartered city.

It stayed that way for most of the20th Century when Ferdinand Marcos re-unified the old territories of the Province of Manila, with the exception of Montalban and San Mateo in 1975.

However, despite the reunification, Marcos didn’t reestablish a province, instead, the territories formed a special region in the country, the National Capital Region, a region composed of towns and self-governing chartered cities like Manila, Quezon City, Pasig, etc. As years passed, due to urban sprawl, other towns within the NCR gradually developed into cityhood, most notable being Makati which became a city in 1995.

In the present day, only one municipality remained in the region, Pateros while the rest of the region’s territory has developed into cities.

---

To conclude, Metro Manila did not become one city because it was never treated like one. Historically it was a province, while in the present day it worked as a collection of independent, self-governing cities with their own rules and laws. It would be very impractical to make it one city when the cities themselves are autonomous.

I think a better way is to re-establish the old Province of Manila so the territory will have better-unified control under a Provincial Governor because as of the present, only MMDA (Metropolitan Manila Development Authority) has power over the NCR, but even their power is limited. By re-establishing the old Province of Manila, the Provincial Governor can have full control of the province without affecting the city status of the cities in Metro Manila.

www.quora.com

Typical Filipino (XXVI) - Typisch Philippinisch (XXVI): The Elder Sister ATE / Die ältere Schwester ATE

 

Schwestern, besonders ältere Schwestern, spielen in philippinischen Familien eine große Rolle. Eine ältere Schwester wird von den jüngeren Schwestern ATE genannt. ATE ist immer für die Jüngeren verantwortlich und kümmert sich um alles. Das ist in großen Familien auch unbedingt notwendig, da die Mutter oftmals nicht für alle Kinder gleichzeitig sorgen kann. Ihre Rolle als stellvertretende Mutter verschafft ATE den Respekt der jüngeren Geschwister, die sie in persönlichen Dingen um Rat fragen und ihr gegenenfalls zu gehorchen haben wie der Mutter.  Nach einem eventuellen Tod der Eltern übernimmt ATE die Verantwortung  für den Zusammenhalt der gesamten Familie.

Sisters, especially older sisters, play an important role in Filipino families. An older sister is called ATE by the younger sisters. ATE is always responsible for the younger ones and taking care of everything. This is absolutely necessary in large families, as the mother can often not care for all the children at the same time. Her role as substitute mother gives her the respect of her younger siblings, who ask her for advice on personal mattes and, if necessary, obey her, like the mother. After the eventual death of the parents, ATE takes on responsibility for the cohesion of the entire family.

11 Things Tourists Should Never Do in the Philippines, Ever

By: Katrina Escalona

Traveling, more than just an exciting, Instagram-worthy experience, is one you will always learn from. But there are simply some things that are more than helpful to learn beforehand. These are the things that will save you from the possibility of outright insulting someone or ending up on the wrong side of town. Here’s what not to do when visiting the Philippines.

Don’t insult the country or its people

First and foremost, it should go without saying that you shouldn’t insult your host country, but the Philippines is a bit of a special case. Filipinos are proud of anything and everything Filipino (this is why “Filipino Pride” is a thing), so to say anything that could offend them or the country could be a huge blunder. They tend to be very protective of their country and people, so the slightest criticism could be taken the wrong way. In fact, the Philippines has a growing list of celebrities from whom they’ve either demanded an apology—or worse, declared persona non grata (an unwelcome person)—actress Claire Danes is living proof that it might be better to tread lightly on the criticism.

Don’t disrespect your elders

Filipinos highly revere their elders, and this is obvious in the way they are spoken to. The words po and opo, for example, are used to show respect. While foreigners are clearly not required to be familiar with the use of such words, the value of respect is still expected from them. One way this can be shown is through a local greeting practice known as pagmamano (mano is the Spanish word for hand). This constitutes a slight bow, taking the hand of the elder, and touching it to your forehead. This act is most commonly done to grandparents, and they’ll likely be pleasantly surprised should it be done to them by a foreigner.

Don’t use first names to address someone older

Another giveaway that respect is a big deal in the Philippines is the avoidance of being on a first-name basis with someone older. Depending on the age gap, there is a more respectful term to address an older person. There’s ate (older sister) and kuya (older brother), tita (aunt) and tito (uncle), and lola (grandmother) and lolo (grandfather). These titles are used regardless of blood relation, and simply based on how much older the person is than you. The default titles for a complete stranger, say, driving your cab or selling you something at a store, would be ate and kuya.

Avoid confrontation and coming off too strong

Filipinos are very non-confrontational and are a rather timid bunch when it comes to people they’ve just met. So should a problem arise, try not to lose your temper, and remain calm and pleasant. When meeting locals, be friendly (Filipinos are generally very friendly), but avoid being cocky or intrusive. It’s also important to note that Filipinos are quite indirect and will avoid giving an outright “no” at all costs, as they fear it could come off offensive. This might be a bit frustrating to a foreigner, especially when trying to set up a gathering or extending an invitation, but the Filipino way of saying no can come in the form of phrases like “We’ll see,” “I’m not sure,” or “I’ll try to make it but…”.

Don’t arrive on time

…at least to casual gatherings. Filipinos are notorious for adhering to something called “Filipino time”, which refers to anywhere from a 15-minute to an hour-long delay on the clock. So Filipino events will almost always start at least a few minutes late. Many are trying to get rid of this stereotype and formal gatherings are much more likely to begin on schedule, but don’t be surprised when your Filipino friends are only leaving their homes by the time you’ve gotten to your meeting place.

Don’t get offended too easily

I know what you’re thinking—Filipinos get offended and immediately declare persona non grata, but everyone else isn’t allowed to? The thing is that Filipinos are mostly very happy, fun-loving people. However, their sense of humor might not always fit yours. As opposed to dry humor, Filipinos usually enjoy a more slapstick, situational, silly kind of humor. So in a circumstance where a local imitates your accent, for example, and proceeds to laugh, this isn’t a form of mockery, but simply a good-natured joke, expressing amusement over something different. It might become annoying to some, but just remember, it’s hardly, if ever, done out of spite.

Don’t go without prior research

The Philippines is one of those countries many people assume is unsafe due to how it’s portrayed in the media. It’s important to remember that the media tend to magnify the extremes and attention-grabbing events. While there are places in the country best avoided by tourists to be on the safe side, like certain provinces in Mindanao, as long as you travel smartly, taking common precaution, you should be perfectly fine elsewhere in the archipelago. Prior research will help you decide where to go, what to do, and for those whose cultures are extremely different from that of Filipinos’, what to expect. It also won’t hurt to know a few Filipino words to exchange with the locals. They love hearing visitors trying to speak their language (and again, don’t get offended if they respond with laughter—this is an indication of amusement).

Don’t let the bizarre-sounding food scare you

This will almost always apply to food. On the one hand, Filipinos are food aficionados. They love to eat and food is a huge part of their culture. And on the other, they are fantastic cooks who don’t let anything go to waste—so brace yourself for dishes made of animal parts you never considered edible. You’ll be in the land of chopped up pig’s face on a sizzling plate (sisig), hard-boiled duck embryo (balut), and grilled chicken intestines on a stick (isaw). If you’re the type to get squeamish quite easily, you might be better off not asking what something is. Just try it and should it not suit your fancy, simply don’t have it again. But do try to step out of your comfort zone. This is the perfect place to channel your more adventurous side.

Don’t drive in Manila unless absolutely necessary

Instead of sharing the road, driving in Manila feels like Darwin’s survival of the fittest. Not only is it a challenge manoeuvring through the Metro’s complicated routes, the difficulty is upped a level by having to compete with the jeepneys that pull over without warning and the huge buses that swerve carelessly, expecting other motorists to automatically give way. The extreme road congestion and ceaseless rush-hour traffic don’t help much either. So unless you absolutely must, you’ll be best off leaving the driving to your Uber.

Don’t expect everything to be dirt cheap

Sure, the Philippines is a much cheaper country than the US or many of those in Europe, but don’t assume you’re being cheated just because you’re being charged a bit more than what you hoped for. To avoid a heated exchange with a store owner or a pedicab driver, the best way to go about things is by firmly agreeing on a price beforehand. If they insist on an amount you wouldn’t be happy to pay, simply walk away. When bargaining, pleasantly make your offers and if you’re not happy with theirs, politely decline. Remember, while you’re trying to make a good buy on your end, they’re making a living on theirs.

Don’t bring up religion

At least during casual conversation, try to avoid getting into a discussion on religion. The Philippines is a significantly Catholic nation, and many, especially those of the older generations, are very pious. In fact, in the Philippines divorce is illegal, and the use of sexual contraception is still largely frowned upon (some things the younger generations are trying to change). So in the attempt to not upset a tita or lola, it would probably be best to reserve the atheism talks for another trip.

WITH BEETHOVEN UNDER PALMS (XXII): New Start with many Challenges

All four of us (my mother, Rossana and her brother Archie and myself) were standing in front of our two containers. Expectant and happy at the same time. But, our knees kept on shaking. The faces of the customs officers looked very, very serious. Of course, our inventory list for both containers was excessively long. "Why did you bring three washing machines, three bicycles, three television sets, three radios, three stereo units and so on...! Maybe you are hiding three cars too?"  Rossana replied quickly and with presence of mind, " Because we are three migrants to the Philippines and we belong to the same household!" The customs officers were flabbergasted and smiled. After a few hours of waiting and a lot of paperwork, our two containers were released. 

Yes, our first two years were full of surprises. Father Bacarez, our former Philippine Community Berlin chaplain visited us and blessed our whole compound. Meanwhile my mentor returned back to the Philippines and taught at Santo Tomas University Manila - among several subjects European History and also German Language. His books about German-Philippine Relationships and many talks with Monsignore Hermogenes "Gene' Bacareza gave me many inputs and knowledge. On January 25, 2003 in appreciation of his efforts promoting harmonious relations between both countries, Dr. Johannes Rau, then German Federal President conferred on Father Gene the highest honor of Germany, das Grosse Bundesverdienstkreuz  1. Klasse (Insignia of the Order of Merit). 

Father Gene was so happy knowing of my new work in Philippine media. Yes, meanwhile I had become Marketing Director of the Davao Carholic Herald and the radio station DXGN 89.9 "Good News Radio '', both located at the Bishop Thibault Center Davao City in the San Pablo Church Compound. I was allowed to contribute my regular column "The Daily Life" - and, I started my first radio program - entitled "The Passion of Music". Ludwig van Beethoven and all other classical masters could be heard in my Sunday program right after the life coverage of the 9 o'clock mass from San Pablo Church. Yes, it became true: Beethoven resides already under palms... . 

Rossana suffered from her first culture shock. "In Germany everything is so fast - the traffic, people, talking, everything somehow", she let me know. After 16 years she had become a typical German. We looked at photos together - photos from back then. Like this one from 1977: American-Philippine Friendship Day at Talomo Beach in Davao City. I felt that she was longing to dance again. Said and done. 

Maybe we became (again) risk takers. But the Manisan Dance Studio opened ... ! 

When we were strolling through the Victoria Plaza Mall on a beautiful Sunday morning after attending mass, Rossana wondered to herself; "Look over there, there is a TV recording or even life broadcasting. Yes, it was "Singgit Davao", and the host and director were former classmates of Rossana. And it was indeed life. 

Finally a big surprise happened!

(To be continued!)

Typical Filipino (XXV) - Typisch Philippinisch (XXV): Showing Respects to Elders/Respekt gegenüber Älteren zeigen

 

The term "Kuya" is used in Filipino for older brother and "Ate" is used in Filipino for older sister, and those terms are what one also usually uses to refer to or show respect to other people (including cousins and other strangers) who are in the same generation but a little older, or one could use the older term. The elder sister/die ältere Schwester hat eine ganz besondere Funktion auf den Philippinen. Mehr dazu hier sehr bald! 

Filipino Culture: Showing Respect to Elders

By: PRECY ANZA

Respect for your elders is important in Filipino culture.

Guillaume de Germain

Like in many other Asian countries, people in the Philippines show their respect to the elder population with certain gestures and honorifics they use before the person's name. Calling someone older than you by their first name is considered impolite and rude. If you've ever been to the Philippines, you've probably noticed Filipinos addressing anyone older than them using a word before their first name.

Respectful Ways to Say 'Yes' and 'No'

Some of the most common words for showing respect in a Filipino household are po and opo. Both basically mean "yes" in a respectful way, rather than just saying oo, or yes normally.

For a better understanding of how to use po and opo and to learn the difference between the two, look at the examples below.

Po is used to show respect when speaking or called by someone older or a person with authority. Also use po when saying salamat, or "thank you". If you are called by someone older than you (such as your mom, dad, uncle, auntie, or an elderly neighbor), you should answer po. 

Example: If an elderly person calls"Jasmin! Jasmin!", a Filipino child would answer "Po?" which is a polite way of saying "Yes?" or "Bakit po?" which means "Why?" (politely).

• Po is used when answering basic questions such as why, when, who, which and what, or when answering a yes or no question from someone older. Ex. "Jasmin, have you seen your brother?" Saying "Hindi" means "No." To answer politely, they would say po is "Hindi po." Adding po when answering yes or no portrays respect.

Opo is used to answer questions that has something to do with actions.

1. "Have you eaten? It's already lunch time." Answering with "Oo" means "Yes," but answering "Opo" would be the polite way.

But aside from using po and opo, there are other ways Filipinos show respect when speaking to someone older.

Words Used to Show Respect

Ate

This is used to show respect to an older sister. The younger siblings should address or call their older sister ate. If there is more than one older female sister, the younger ones would call the older siblings "ate____(name).

Example: If the youngest, 12 years old, is relating to her mom about the fun she had with her two older sisters, she would say, "Mom! I went to the town fiesta with ate Jasmine and ate Hope."

Ate is also used to show respect to older cousins.

Itay, Tatay, and Papa

Although some Filipinos call their parents dad and mom, there are still quite a few names for 'dad' that show respect. Itay, tatay, and papa all mean dad and are used by the siblings to call or address their dad.

In the case of stepfather, they are also shown respect by being addressed as itay, tatay, papa, or daddy, sometimes followed by their first names. 

For example, a young boy might address his stepdad as, "Tatay Manny" or "Papa Manny."

Inay, Nanay, or Mama

Just like with dads, substantial families or those who really are wealthy usually addressed as mom or mommy. Another percentage of Filipino children address their moms as inay, nanay or mama.

Similarly to stepfathers, stepmothers, Filipino kids address their stepmoms by calling them mom and then their first name, such as "Mommy Julie" or "Mama Julie."

Auntie, or Tita

Filipino used either of these two to address their aunt. But there are also cases where Filipinos call their stepmothers tita.

Tita is also used to show respect to people outside of the family. I do this myself. I address my mom's coworkers and friends as tita, like "Tita Fhil". Another example would be when my friend comes over to my house and addresses my mom as tita.

Uncle, or Tito

Children or siblings used this to address their parents' brothers. There's a bit of difference between uncle and tito, though they refer to the same respect given to one's dad or mom's brother.

Example: A 14-year-old would mostly use the word uncle to address his dad or mom's brother who's close in age to his parents. But if there's a small age gap, between the kid and his uncle, the 14-year-old would probably prefer to call his mother's younger brother as tito.

Lola and Lolo

Lola means grandma and lolo means grandpa. This is how Filipino children address their grandparents.

'Lolo' is 'grandpa' in the Philipines.

stevebp

What About Other People?

Filipino children also show respect to other people outside of the family. Here are some other names that are used to address elders.

Ninang and Ninong

Ninang, which means godmother, and ninong, which means godfather, are used by Filipino kids to address their godparents. Filipinos don't call their godparents by their first names. Instead, they use ninang and ninong. Examples would be, "I went to see ninang and ninong and they gave me presents."

Mang

Children and young adults use mang before the name as a sign of respect to males older than them in their town or neighborhood.

Aleng

Use before the first name of an older female as a sign of respect—if you know their name. If not, ale is used to address a stranger. Ale is pronounced ah-le, and it is the female counterpart of mang. For example:

1. I saw Aleng Mae and Mang John as I walked home from school. They are new in the neighborhood.
2. Aleng Mae owns a mini grocery store on 24th Street.

LIFE CHANGES DRAMATICALLY

Do you remember, my dear readers, what I wrote already months ago at this corner? Our life will never be the way it used to be - due to Covid-19. Everything in our life changed. Really everything. 

Being in online classes while teaching or in the daily home office, I experienced a total change when it comes to the digital body language:  cues you send – or don't send. Writer David Robson gets to the point in a nutshell: "Online, as in real-life, it's not just what you say – but how you say it".

Think about the last work email that you sent. Did its sentences end with full stops or exclamation marks, or did you forgo punctuation altogether? Was it peppered with emoji – or plain text? And was your response prompt, or did you have to apologize for the time it had taken to reply?

Now, consider your last Zoom call. Did you check your phone or email at least once during the meeting? And did you pause to be sure that the other speaker had finished? Or did you find yourself frequently interrupting their sentences, as you failed to take into account the slight delays in the connection?

According to the leadership expert Erica Dhawan, these are all examples of our “digital body language” – a concept that serves as the title of her new book. Like our in-person physical body language, digital body language concerns the subtle cues that signal things like our mood or engagement, and change the meaning of the words we say – be it in text, on the phone or in a video call.

Following David Robson, it is needless to say, the rise of remote working during the pandemic has only made these issues more urgent, but psychologists have long known that digital communication is ripe for misunderstanding.

So, what can be done? It’s indeed a question of mindfulness, so that we can be sure that our digital body language is intentional and appropriate to the situation at hand.

Do you like emojis?!? Well, first consider written communication, starting with the use of emoji and punctuation marks, like the exclamation point. Stylists may sneer, but many people (and include me in!) argue that they often help to clarify the meanings of the words themselves, much in the same way as a nodding head or a smirk in person. Whether you’re signalling urgency or excitement with ALL CAPS, impatience and irritation with an “?!?” or mutual appreciation with a fist-bump emoji, you are helping your text to convey the feelings you would have embodied in person.

It took me almost a whole year, but right now allow me to tell you: don’t feel shy about adopting these more informal digital cues, where appropriate – and be aware that others may well be expecting them.

Broadly, your use of punctuation and emojis are part of a bigger set of cues that will establish the tone of your exchanges – whether they feel formal or informal, enthusiastic or bored. Other signals will include your greetings (whether you include a friendly “Hello” at the start of the message or simply dive straight in), and your sign off (an emotionally distant “Regards” versus an enthusiastic “Thanks!”).

Honestly, sometimes I'm really getting tired of video calls and zoom meetings. They present their own unique problems. Your body language, manners and level of engagement on video-chat platforms can influence how colleagues see you and interpret your message. Even during my online teaching, I observed some student being absent-minded or even not being dressed well.

Whatever medium you use, you should remain conscious of two factors – trust and power – in all your interactions. These ratings will be subjective, of course, but if you sense there is a clear gap on either of these dimensions, you need to be more cautious.

In the past, the handshake, the smile and the smile gave us many well trusted signals,– but in online communication, our gratitude is often less apparent, or may not be expressed at all. Measures to remedy this could be as simple as sending a follow-up email, after a virtual meeting, to make it clear that you valued someone’s input, or cc’ing a junior colleague on an email to a client, acknowledging the role they played in a project. We can’t just assume that our colleagues will know how much we value them.

Erica Dhawan’s book Digital Body Language, is out now from St Martin’s Press. I learned a lot from her, especially perfecting our digital body language will take practice – but a few moments of thought each day may save hours of anxiety and confusion in the days and weeks ahead.

Earlier in this writeup, I mentioned David Robson. He is the author of The Intelligence Trap: Revolutionise Your Thinking and Make Wiser Decisions (Hodder & Stoughton/WW Norton) – out now in paperback. He is @d_a_robson on Twitter.

Since the pandemic, employees are leaving the workforce or switching jobs in droves. For many, employers have played a big part in why they're walking away. It's another big change in our business world. Read more about my thoughts in my next column here at this corner.

Is it hard to be a Filipino?

by: Rosmary Roque

Nurse since 2011, thinker since birth

Sometimes nomadic, often dramatic, mostly human.

Like in all things, being a Filipino is both hard and easy at the same time.

For one, we are constantly trying to prove ourselves to the world as a whole. I own at least 3 nursing licenses just because the license from my country is not up to par with those of the countries I wished to work for. I had to pass three different English exams just to prove that I can communicate in that language well enough despite having learnt it since I was 2. In the workplace, Filipino workers are constantly having to prove themselves over and over to their bosses just to keep their jobs. To make matters worse, even their own countrymen try to bring them down.

Another reason that it’s difficult is the weather. The Philippines is both in the Pacific ring of fire and in close proximity to the Pacific oceans, which means that a buttload of typhoons and earthquakes hit it each year. In 2013, a supertyphoon hit the southern region just a few weeks after a 7.2 magnitude earthquake did.

Lastly, we live in a society that has a lot going against development. Corrupt officials, lack of punctuality and other bad habits are rampant. This is unfortunate for a country trying to pick itself up.

Amidst this series of unfortunate events (heh), we’ve got one thing going for us. The adversity advantage.

We are resilient. No matter how hard life beats us, we fight back and cope the best way we can. This is why you see smiling faces in the background of newscasters reporting from flooded areas.

We are everywhere and we are close with our family. When you go to any mall in the United Arab Emirates, it is very likely to see many Filipino workers. We also have close family ties which help keep us sane in the face of trials.

Lastly, we are a generally tolerant, laid back people (so laid back sometimes that we are always late). While some could argue that this is just setting too low a standard, I think it is important to be kind to others and above all to be kind to ourselves.

That is the Filipino way.

www.quora.com

Why do many Filipinos speak a mix of English and Tagalog...

 

... instead of speaking either pure Tagalog or pure English?

By: Dayang C Marikit, Philippine History Professor

First of all, there is no such thing as a "pure language".

Secondly, it’s a “class thing”… the higher you are on the social ladder, the more likely you are to “code-switch” between Filipino and English, we call these people “conyo.”

• Most of the people who are interviewed in those “Asian Boss” videos are generally “well-off” college kids who study along the “university belt” in Manila and they don’t represent everyone, I’d say that they are a “significant minority" in that location of the city.
• If they interviewed people like market vendors, street food vendors, Jeepney drivers, etc, they’d most likely get a much different result. There would be far less code-switching and it's highly unlikely for them to have a proper conversation. What I'm saying is that the demographic sample that they used in this social experiment is skewed, which then confirms their bias.

My second point is, code-switching isn’t “new,” especially for the upper classes. “Pure Tagalog” still has a lot of Malay, Javanese, Sanskrit/Indic and Chinese cognates & loan words.

• The oldest written document in the Philippines is the Laguna Copperplate Inscription, dated to be from the 10th century, and it was written with a mixture of “Old Malay, Old Javanese, Old Tagalog and Sanskrit.”
• The first word written on this document is “Swasti” a Hindu greeting that wishes people “good fortune”… this is also the word from which the term “Swastika” is derived from, this is because the swastika is a symbol of “good fortune” until the Nazis corrupted it and made it infamous as a symbol of hate… anyways, back to the point, this artifact proves that “code-switching” isn’t new.
• Lastly, even English and Spanish themselves have also adopted a lot of loanwords, from different languages such as Greek, Latin, Phoenician, Egyptian, etc.

Typical Filipino (XXIV): Typisch Philippinisch (XXIV): Utang ng loob - A dept of inner self

Utang na loob (Visayan: utang kabubut-un) is a Filipino cultural trait which, when translated literally, means "a debt of one's inner self (loob)." It is also often translated as a "debt of gratitude.

In the study of Filipino psychology, utang na loob is considered an important "accommodative surface value", along with hiya (propriety/dignity) and pakikisama (companionship/esteem). It is one of the values by which Filipinos accommodate the demands of the world around them as opposed to its counterpart grouping, referred to as the "confrontative surface values", which include values such as lakas ng loob and pakikibaka.^[1]

The essence of utang na loob is an obligation to appropriately repay a person who has done one a favor. The favors which elicit the Filipino's sense of utang na loob are typically those whose value is impossible to quantify, or, if there is a quantifiable value involved, involves a deeply personal internal dimension.^[3] This internal dimension, loob, differentiates utang na loob from an ordinary utang (debt); being an internal phenomenon, utang na loob thus goes much deeper than ordinary debt or even the western concept of owing a favor. Filipino psychology explains that this is a reflection of the kapwa orientation of shared personhood or shared self, which is at the core of the Filipino values system.^[1]

What Filipino culture should be stopped?

By: Jean-Marie Valheur

Young, handsome and exceptionally well-endowed

I like to write. All answers I have written, you may copy, you may use any lines you enjoy, you may copy, paste, share, translate, publish at your leisure — just credit me by name, is all. It’s the bare minimum a decent person would do.

Who am I? Just, somebody who likes to write. It’s really not that complicated. I exist, you exist, we all exist. Just briefly. And my brief existence, I dedicate to writing enjoyable little things for no one in particular.

Utang na loob is a pretty toxic belief. The whole ‘owing your relatives something’. Or just owing them the ‘debt of gratitude’. Which seems fine on the surface, but it’s often abused. Say you are your average Filipino family, fairly poor as Filipino families tend to be. You have one auntie in Canada or Dubai. She’s hot shit. She’s super important. She sends boxes home and give gifts to her nephews, nieces, siblings back home. Nice of her, isn’t it?

But no, auntie isn’t really very nice at all. Because some relatives get considerably better gifts then others, some barely get anything at all. Even among cousins the same age, some kids are ‘favorites’ and get brand new roller skates, whereas a ‘less loved’ kid gets only a Toblerone or a large Snickers bar. But auntie is so good, she’s so helpful… you have to worship her like a God.

Oh and auntie is so selfless too! She never married, so she could support her relatives. Never mind that she kind of hates kids and kind of hates men and kind of hates everybody. Never mind that she is hardly marriage material to begin with. No, no, it’s all a ‘noble sacrifice’ from her end. She will side in family conflicts. She will determine the outcome of these conflicts. Which of the nieces or nephews will be supported financially to go through college, the kindest, the smartest, or the one whose parents kissed aunties ass the most?

At times it feels like Filipino families are a bit like Game of Thrones with various ‘factions’ duking it out. People will simultaneously look up to and praise their ‘rich’ foreign relatives, and hate them at the same time for their arrogance. There’s a lot of in-fighting, hidden and not-so-hidden rivalries. And it’s all hidden underneath this cultural veneer of ‘showing how grateful you are’.

As an example… a great-aunt in our family has once helped some of our relatives. Now my wife’s family is expected to be super nice to this great-aunt. People forget, however, that this great-aunt only became successful in the first place because her older sister, wife’s grandmother, paid for her studies in the first place, allowing her to go abroad. Now each year on great-aunties birthday, slavishly devoted relatives make videos of themselves wishing her a ‘long and happy life’, puke-worthy sweet music underneath, holding up posters with her face like she’s a Filipino provincial version of Kim Il-Sung… you know, because of gratitude. Doesn’t work both ways, though, and a lot of it is determined by how popular you end up being inside the family. Older sister later got broke, so her kindness and help in getting younger sister rich and abroad is conveniently forgotten as the rest of the Clan kisses her little sisters ass into perpetuity.

Utang na loob is the single most toxic Filipino cultural aspect I’ve ever seen, and I have stories for days on how it gets abused by some people. There’s so much bitterness, so much awfulness. So much gossip, so much drama. And sometimes this spans two, three, even four generations. The concept of ‘owing one’ to the sister of your grandmother for something she did forty years ago and it allowing her to act like a bitch in the year 2020 is ridiculous.