This is a re-post of my column IN MY OPINION from September 7, 2012 in MINDANAO DAILY MIRROR with friendly permission of my publisher Miss Marietta Siongco.
Since I was a little boy, my whole family and our neighbors liked to hammer into my mind and heart the slogan:"Boys (men) don't cry!" Many incidents happened in my life as a young boy. Later too. Up to now - after reaching the second half of my life. Incidents with oppressed and held back tears and emotions... .
I made a complete fool, when, when I tried to satisfy my inquotable thirst and insatiable hunger as a young boy by penetrating the closed kitchen of our neighbour. A terrible good hiding followed together with the comment: "Don't cry or you'll never become a real man!" Bursting into tears (BAHALA NA - SO WHAT!), I didn't understand, why a boy should bear the pain of trashing but knowing during the same time that he might never become a real man! What an untenbale mug's game!
I never became a whipping boy or fan of brawl and fight because I always tried to search for ways, not to cry. "You'll never become a real man, because a real man knows how to fight without bursting into tears." Longing I did watch the girls in our neighborhood, who always had been allowed to cry because of any non-important thing or trifling matter.
My thirst of knowledge let me start travelling around the world (and, also to the Philippines!), when I became 18. I learned that this silly custom seemed to exist more or less world-wide. In different Asian countries I learned the nonsense (sorry!) parents explaining their sons, "If you'll not stop crying, you might become a gay!"
Step by step I experienced myself many examples, incidents or reasons when I didn't care any more fortunately about my tears and emotions. A special place with a good or bad remembrance can make me cry. Salt dissolves in water like emotions in tears: an unjustified treatment, arrogance and ignorance from people around me, a heartfelt condolence, a rejected or non-returned love or friendship, a very special song, a very touching situation or speech, being choked with emotions - but ALSO crying because of happiness or never expected gratitude... .
Are all these privileges only allowed for females? Are males only robots with hearts of stone? Objection my dear fellow creatures!
When I stayed in Israel long time ago: An Israelian solder lost his his right arm during a (nonsensical!) battle at the Golan Heights - and, this wounded soldier started crying! Of course, why not? After my stay in Japan (YMCA family exchange), the other of one of my families in Kyoto couldn't hold his tears, when time came to say "Sayonara". Sure, why not? In South Africa I became a sudden witness of a burial, because an original inhabitant family lost a child because of starving to death. The mother cried much.
Allow me to cry what ever the reason might be. Even, if it is because I help cutting onions and garlic for lunch... .
I made a complete fool, when, when I tried to satisfy my inquotable thirst and insatiable hunger as a young boy by penetrating the closed kitchen of our neighbour. A terrible good hiding followed together with the comment: "Don't cry or you'll never become a real man!" Bursting into tears (BAHALA NA - SO WHAT!), I didn't understand, why a boy should bear the pain of trashing but knowing during the same time that he might never become a real man! What an untenbale mug's game!
I never became a whipping boy or fan of brawl and fight because I always tried to search for ways, not to cry. "You'll never become a real man, because a real man knows how to fight without bursting into tears." Longing I did watch the girls in our neighborhood, who always had been allowed to cry because of any non-important thing or trifling matter.
My thirst of knowledge let me start travelling around the world (and, also to the Philippines!), when I became 18. I learned that this silly custom seemed to exist more or less world-wide. In different Asian countries I learned the nonsense (sorry!) parents explaining their sons, "If you'll not stop crying, you might become a gay!"
Step by step I experienced myself many examples, incidents or reasons when I didn't care any more fortunately about my tears and emotions. A special place with a good or bad remembrance can make me cry. Salt dissolves in water like emotions in tears: an unjustified treatment, arrogance and ignorance from people around me, a heartfelt condolence, a rejected or non-returned love or friendship, a very special song, a very touching situation or speech, being choked with emotions - but ALSO crying because of happiness or never expected gratitude... .
Are all these privileges only allowed for females? Are males only robots with hearts of stone? Objection my dear fellow creatures!
When I stayed in Israel long time ago: An Israelian solder lost his his right arm during a (nonsensical!) battle at the Golan Heights - and, this wounded soldier started crying! Of course, why not? After my stay in Japan (YMCA family exchange), the other of one of my families in Kyoto couldn't hold his tears, when time came to say "Sayonara". Sure, why not? In South Africa I became a sudden witness of a burial, because an original inhabitant family lost a child because of starving to death. The mother cried much.
Allow me to cry what ever the reason might be. Even, if it is because I help cutting onions and garlic for lunch... .
