The caring Filipino family is the heart of the nation

 

By Fr. Shay Cullen, Founder since 1974

The Filipino family is revered worldwide for its many values, its unity, and the mutually supportive and harmonious love between parents and children. Such a family has wise Filipino parents who have respectful, positive and caring relationships with their children. They neither dominate nor neglect their children. They are not punishers and scolders, and they never emotionally or verbally abuse their children. They encourage their children to be independent, love freedom and serve their community. Close-knit families are resilient and bound by these values, and they endure and overcome struggles and poverty. Dire poverty is caused by corrupt politicians and their cronies involved in graft, fraud, nepotism and cronyism. The Filipino family, in general, is resilient and is the heart and strength of the nation. Good and dedicated parents strive to protect and teach their children to be upright and have compassion for their neighbors.

The United Nations’ theme for the International Day of Families this year was “Families, Inequalities and Child Wellbeing.” It is a particularly timely reminder for the Filipino family, which must remain strong as it faces the challenges posed by corruption that feeds an unequal society, leaving 17.5 million families in poverty out of 117.5 million people, according to government statistics. But surveys by Social Weather Stations and other research firms indicate that roughly 50 percent of Filipino families rate themselves as poor. There are an estimated 2.19 million overseas Filipino workers (OFWs). The Filipino diaspora roughly number 10.7 million; they left for a better life abroad, unable to endure the corruption, social inequality and lack of opportunities for themselves and their children at home.

These 2.19 million OFWs provide critical financial support for their families through massive money transfers monthly. In 2025, they sent home a record $35.63 billion in cash remittances. Including informal remittances, this figure increases to $39.62 billion. Besides the daily struggles of so many Filipino families to cope with worsening poverty, especially during oil crises, they are also faced with the onslaught of negative content on social media. Traditional family unity is under severe threat.

The historical roots of this unity and togetherness are found in the “balangay,” the wooden boat that traveled across seas for weeks, carrying families bound by their desire to survive. These families arrived on the islands, where they lived and worked in mutual cooperation. Working together came to be known as the “bayanihan,” or community, spirit. This community cooperation and togetherness was a life-saving experience for an intelligent and proud people.

From this precolonial heritage emerged a culture in which teamwork is strongly present in Filipino family traditions today. “Utang na loob,” or debt of gratitude, evolved from a tribal system of mutual help and reciprocity into a deeper moral binding obligation. Teamwork for prosperity beyond survival, known as “pakikisama” or getting along with others, arose from a need to maintain peace and order and cooperation in small communities, so all could thrive. An important family value is respect for parents, which also came from early tribal living in which age denoted wisdom and knowing traditional herbal medicine that helped people survive for thousands of years.

Enduring values

Many other enduring values of Filipino family life are strong and healthy today, such as love of education, a deep commitment to freedom and justice, compassion for the sick and needy, generosity in sharing with others, hospitality, welcoming strangers and sharing food and drink with them, and the sacrifice of poor parents working desperately at home or abroad to provide for their children against poverty and hunger that are rooted in inequality and injustice. The value of “malasakit,” or concern, is strong, and a sense of dignity and self-worth are powerful driving forces for success. This is where we see the vast majority of parents deeply loving their children and providing for their needs.

Filipino family values, traditional lifestyles and familial relationships themselves are under serious threat as families struggle for survival against an onslaught of negative social and economic forces. A profound transition is underway, driven by economic pressures, cost of living, unemployment, teenage pregnancies, and exploitation through social media that are putting great strain on the unity of the family, as teenagers drift further from their parents and siblings by the negative influence of abusive online content.

The departure of children for the city, where gaining employment is more likely than in the countryside, is challenging to their parents. Today, our capitalistic society takes families away from fields and farms, where all once helped each other in an “all for one, one for all” spirit. Now, they’re involved in isolated — and likely isolating — work in a factory or business enterprise in the city, leaving parents and grandparents alone.

While the internet connects family members virtually, it is also driving them apart. Church-going is declining due to the irrelevance of many institutional rites and sermons. The absence, with some exceptions, of strong and outspoken Christian moral leadership by church leaders to challenge ills in government and society leaves a vacuum for evil to erode family values.

The government’s inability or unwillingness to implement laws regulating internet content is among the greatest threats to the Filipino family, young adults and children. Internet service providers continue to ignore a law blocking child sexual abuse materials, and the government is complicit in ignoring this. This is causing horrific moral decadence among families, adults and the youth. The availability of abusive online materials to young boys drives them to sexually assault girls as young as 6 years old.

The UN Children’s Fund says as many as 2 million Filipino children have been sexually abused online and in the community in one year alone. Nearly one in five children (17.1 to 22.4 percent) have experienced sexual violence within their community or home.

This is the great challenge for all Filipino families, and leaders in society and the Church to unite on board the balangay of human rights — especially children’s — and defend moral values and human dignity.