You plan to move to the Philippines? Wollen Sie auf den Philippinen leben?

There are REALLY TONS of websites telling us how, why, maybe why not and when you'll be able to move to the Philippines. I only love to tell and explain some things "between the lines". Enjoy reading, be informed, have fun and be entertained too!

Ja, es gibt tonnenweise Webseiten, die Ihnen sagen wie, warum, vielleicht warum nicht und wann Sie am besten auf die Philippinen auswandern könnten. Ich möchte Ihnen in Zukunft "zwischen den Zeilen" einige zusätzlichen Dinge berichten und erzählen. Viel Spass beim Lesen und Gute Unterhaltung!


Visitors of germanexpatinthephilippines/Besucher dieser Webseite.Ich liebe meine Flaggensammlung!

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Monday, February 25, 2019

To Those Who Doubt!

Career is a rapid motion. A course of action. Sure! A professional conduct in life. Even a progress through life. Here we are! That means, a careerist is one, who rushes widely and makes his own personal advancement as well as his (or her) own aim in life!

What can we do, if "career doubts" won't go away? First allow me to quote my bible, especially Jude (watching out - sounding an alarm!), who writes in a style of a teacher who is watching a freight train bear down on his student's driver. Yes, bells ring out: "Be merciful to those who doubt." (Jude 2:22).

My parents always wanted me to become a banker. So far so good. Why not? Maybe I would have been much more happier in my job during those times. Maybe not? I wanted to be a journalist already at the age of 16... . Believe it or not!

The pressure "to be" (or later NOT TO BE - thank you Mr. Shakespeare!), started early in my life. Not only my parents, also my peers and teachers began to exert their influences on me. Yes, I even didn't know yet where my inclinations lay. I only knew, I wanted to become a journalist... .

Suddenly being a doctor or a lawyer? Yes, I was interested in law and medicine at that time. I really got very lucky becoming an editor of German law magazines during my last 18 years in Germany. But I never became a lawyer - or doctor! Now, I would ask myself - who cares?

"The way that people pick up careers is incredibly  primitive," said Nicholas Lore, founder of the Rockport Institute, a career coaching firm, and author of "The Pathfinder". Strong tobacco, indeed. That's why so many people are indeed dissatisfied with their jobs. I wanted to be a journalist, but mass communications wasn't my major subject yet. During the early 1970's publishing house management, German language, marketing and writing skills training. Once upon a time in Germany... .

Believe me, I always thought about a true calling for myself. Sure, people, whose careers aren't the fight fit often  feel like impostors, as Professor Robert I. Sutton, an organizational psychologist at Stanford University in Palo Alto, said. Very, very well said, Sir.

How about you, my dear reader of this column? Are you also placing too high a value on the external rewards of job, like money, prestige and power? Of course, for many of us (most?) these things are indeed important. Hold on, please! The work you do and the skills  your opportunity  require and the value of your work are really more vital to fulfillment. Paper work, or not... . You think, you find a better a career fit? Go ahead - but don't expect that this your life's career!

I waited for my "better calling" (what a terrible term!) experiencing many even better and wonderful moments in life. I experienced also that several professional things I did in the past had been not very much compatible to me. But I stored many valuable experiences. Yes, I was in doubts many, many times. 

Though I reached already my retirement age, one thing is for sure: today, I am what I am. And, I am proud of it. Human thinks - but our good  Lord leads ... !

Saturday, February 23, 2019

The Truth About "K-Pop Industry" ...

... every Filipino Parent should Know


Image source: https://www.sbs.com.au/popasia/blog/2017/08/21/say-hi-first-all-filipino-k-pop-girl-group
K-Pop or Korean pop entertainment is very popular in the Philippines these days. In most parts of the country, different K-Pop artists are so easily recognizable either through their voice or the movies that they played a role with because of their popularity. Of course, majority of these music and movies usually talks about romantic love and relationships that are, psychologically speaking, pathological. Typically, the songs and films they make usually tell the same story of “romantically obsessed people, acting childish and desperately needing validation from each other all the time”.
Family members and friends of late SHINee singer Kim Jong-Hyun cry as they carry out his coffin during a funeral at a hospital in Seoul on December 21, 2017.
During the past years, the K-Pop industry has been notorious on their reputation due to many complaints and scandals plaguing within the “over-monetized youth demographic”. According to Crystal Brackett, a writer from Ranker, on one of her articles: 
”If you’ve watched any K-pop videos, you probably thought the bright and shiny Korean pop star lifestyle portrayed a perfect world of bubblegum, rainbows, beauty, and whimsy. Unfortunately, the candy-colored sheen coats a sinister underbelly with ugly truths about K-pop. From a young age, these bright and peppy performers essentially enter an uncaring, exploitative entertainment harem in the K-pop industry.”
She continues, “Any faction of the entertainment world is bound to have its secrets; sometimes these are dark yet open secrets overlooked because of convenience or greed. However, what’s going on in the K-pop industry isn’t hidden: Children who grew up in the industry as manufactured pop products have exposed the mental and physical abuse they suffered through their careers.”
And lastly, she said, “From what K-pop trainees endure at the start of their “boot camps” to the suicide attempts, racism, and sexual and physical assaults, the truth about K-pop stars and their industry is anything but glamorous.”
Hallyu Tsunami: The Unstoppable (and Terrifying) Rise of K-Pop Fandom Image source: http://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/k-pop/
Today, many young Filipino people are still getting hooked on these glittering and glossy images on the photographs, dull life dramas, mechanical song-and-dance routines, fake and surgically produced physical appearance, and most importantly, the superficial and make-believe “reality” that sells a culture of mindless consumption. Behind these obviously manufactured and predictable facade projected by secretly “abusive and perverted agents, money-grabbing production designers, and corrupt talent managers”, is a disheartening and alarming reality of “sexual slavery, economic exploitation, and systematic abuse”.
The industry’s very dark history still happens and affects the present situation today. This is a tragic history of controversy and disputes, sexual molestation, drug addiction, psychological, mental, and physical abuse, and of course, endless financial conflicts. Parents should learn about these issues and must think about the kinds of “idols” their children are “following”. Social media has become so easily available for them and this is the favorite outlet of these industries.
Image source: http://beyondhallyu.com/k-pop/entertainment-industry-must-learn-ladies-codes-tragic-accident/
According to one article by Yonden Lhatoo, the chief news editor at the South China Morning Post, “Physical and mental abuse is commonplace, and there is no shortage of stories of aspiring idols being pimped out by their bosses to lecherous executives and politicians. Two thirds of girls and women in South Korea’s entertainment industry admit to being pressured into having sex to further their careers”.
On the same article, he also added that, “Would-be K-pop stars, while still underage, are regularly locked into unbelievably unfair contracts and incarcerated in grueling boot camps for training, a good decade before they get to even record a song, let alone become famous. The ones who are lucky enough to make it end up paying off debts and earning a pittance for years”.

Friday, February 22, 2019

Weak El Nino is here - Pagasa

By H. MARCOS C. MORDENO


A rice field in Tamontaka, Cotabato cracks up due to the El Nino phenomenon. MindaNews file photo by Ferdinandh Cabrera

DAVAO CITY (MindaNews/21 February) – A weak El Niño is present in the tropical Pacific and will likely continue until the second quarter of this year, the Philippine Atmospheric, Geophysical and Astronomical Services Administration (Pagasa) said in an advisory on Wednesday.

Pagasa said the weather system may cause varying impacts such as warmer than average surface temperatures and a prolonged dry season.

The weather bureau predicted “generally way below to below normal rainfall conditions over most parts of the country except for southern Mindanao and Surigao del Sur where near normal is likely” in March.

In April, there will be “generally below normal rainfall conditions in Luzon and the Visayas while near normal mostly in Mindanao,” it said.

Generally below normal rainfall conditions in most parts of southern Luzon and the Visayas while near normal conditions in most parts of northern Luzon and Mindanao are expected in May.

In June, most parts of the Visayas and Mindanao are expected to have near normal rainfall conditions, but most parts of Luzon (except the eastern sections) will experience below normal rainfall conditions.

The varying rainfall conditions across the country from March to June will determine which provinces in the country will be hit by dry season, dry spell and drought.

In March, a dry season will affect 22 provinces including nine in Mindanao (Bukidnon, Camiguin, Lanao del Norte, Misamis Oriental, Compostela Valley, Agusan del Sur, Basilan and Lanao del Sur). No provinces will be hit by dry season from April to June.

Also in March, a dry spell will hit the provinces of Zamboanga del Norte, Misamis Occidental, Dinagat Islands, Surigao del Norte and Tawi-Tawi, as well as 26 provinces in Luzon (including Metro Manila) and 10 others in the Visayas. The dry spell will continue to affect Misamis Occidental and Surigao del Norte, and spread to the provinces of Bukidnon, Camiguin, Lanao del Norte and Dinagat Islands in April.

In May, only Camiguin will experience dry spell in Mindanao along with Rizal province in Luzon and Negros Oriental, Cebu, Siquijor and Southern Leyte in the Visayas. The weather phenomenon will persist until June in Rizal.

Drought will hit five provinces in Luzon and four others in Mindanao (Zamboanga del Sur, Zamboanga Sibugay, Maguindanao and Sulu) in March. It will no longer be felt in Zamboanga del Sur and Maguindanao in April but will continue in Sulu and Zamboanga Sibugay and affect Tawi-Tawi and Zamboanga del Norte, too.

Drought will hit 17 provinces in Luzon and Aklan in the Visayas in April.

In May, only Misamis Occidental and Dinagat will experience drought. However, it will affect 21 provinces in Luzon and 10 others in the Visayas.

Drought will hit fewer provinces in June – 13 in Luzon, five in the Visayas and one in Mindanao (Dinagat).

Pagasa defined drought as three consecutive months of way below normal rainfall (60 percent reduction from average) or five consecutive months of below normal rainfall condition (21 percent to 60 percent reduction from average).

Dry spell means three consecutive months of below normal rainfall (21 percent to 60 percent reduction from average) or two months of consecutive way below normal rainfall (more than 60 percent reduction from average).

Dry condition is defined as having two consecutive months of below normal rainfall (21-60 percent drop in average rainfall).

Foreign weather agencies gave varying predictions on the length of the El Niño.

The Tokyo Climate Center said the El Niño conditions “are likely (70%) to continue until August 2019.”

The APEC Climate Center in Busan, South Korea said “positive sea surface temperature anomalies are likely to remain across most of the tropical Pacific Ocean for February-April 2019, and become weak or return to near average for May-July 2019. (H. Marcos C. Mordeno/MindaNews)

Saturday, February 16, 2019

It's always a big IF ...



If I see or read this little word "if", my first thought is about the nice song by Bread. Nice lyrics. But, if Ifs and Ans were Pots and Pans ... there would be no need for tinkers! An old proverbs, which hits the nail on its head even much better.

Life doesn't only consists of addition, subtraction, multiplication and division. Life has ups and downs, and everyone tries to survive in his own clock-shell surrounded by a dangerous  ocean. Life is stuffed with plenty of excuses. Sometimes,  we are even unable to apologize and say a meaningful "sorry" at the right moment to the person we just treated wrong.

Excuses don't know the question of age. I still have two significant examples to share:

The church was crowded. Confirmation. A woman came too late. Traffic jam. In need of help, the woman looked to the left and then to the right. It looked like a young man planned to help her. He murmured, "Show up a bit, the LOLA likes to sit down". The situation looked problem-free at that moment. But after taking first a deep breath, the LOLA realized the young man's comment. She was just only 38 years "young"! With uneasiness she looked at the youngster, who started smiling at her. How old could he be? 14 or 15? A very big difference already to her age. Then suddenly, the young man realized his inappropriate remark and stuttered, "Sorry Ma-am, please excuse me!"

Choked with emotions, I also listened the story of my former editor colleague in Germany several decades ago. Her mother had expelled her from life. Only while laying on her deathbed, the mother did offer a plea in extenuation because of her lifelong fault.

Excuses, because one is embarrassed or with a simple alibi can be  found at every corner. Did you, my dear readers, count already, how many times you used the term "IF"?

Just to mention this example: If I could pass my German language exam with distinction, my partner in Germany  would be very proud of me!" Sure, not only he, also me, as your German language professor in USEP - University of Southeastern Philippines, Institute of Languages and Creative Arts. "If my fiancee and I get married, where will I live, one of my students asked me yesterday.

I let you know, IF and when I come to a decision. If only I had known ... .

"If there would be a God, there wouldn't be so much misery, poverty, and war on earth!"

"If there wouldn't be the little world IF, how could we still express our not necessary excuses?

Maybe, you still remember Elton John's song from 1976: "Sorry (in the right moments!) seems to be the hardest word" ... . That depends!

LTFRB approves Davao City LGU's request for intra-city bus special permits

By
 ANTONIO L. COLINA IV
 -

DAVAO CITY (MindaNews / 15 Feb) – The Land Transportation Franchising and Regulatory Board (LTFRB) has approved the request of the City Government of Davao to open the applications for special permits for 20 units of public utility buses that will service the underserved routes during peak hours in Davao City.
Retired Supt. Dionisio C. Abude, Davao City Transportation and Traffic Management Office (CTTMO) head, speaks during a press briefing on public utility buses Thursday (15 Feb 2019). MindaNews photo by ANTONIO L. COLINA IV
A four-page memorandum circular signed by LTFRB chairman Martin Delgra was released on Friday, following the survey conducted by the Davao City Transportation and Traffic Management Office (CTTMO) identifying Catalunan Grande and Toril routes as underserved.
The regular fare rate starts at P10 for the first five kilometers and additional P2.20 for every succeeding kilometer.
It said a letter dated February 13, 2019 was submitted by Assistant City Administrator Tristan Dwight P. Domingo recommending for the Peak Hours Augmentation Bus Services (PHABS) to address the growing need for public utility buses from 6:30 a.m. to 9 a.m. and from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. to and from Catalunan Grande and Toril.
Retired Supt. Dionisio C. Abude, the CTTMO head, said in an interview that a meeting was held with local bus companies on the plan of the city to pursue PHABS, among them Mindanao Star, Bachelor Express, LCI Buses, and Davao Metro Shuttle, amid the increasing demand for public transport services during peak hours.
He said the Mindanao Star, which offered free bus rides to Dabawenyos during Kadayawan sa Dabaw celebration in August 2018, has already committed at least eight units of the “low floor, low entry, or city type” buses to provide augmentation services. The rest will be provided by other local bus firms, he said.
Based on the LTFRB’s memorandum, the travel from Toril going to Roxas Avenue will have six bus stops: Toril District Hall, Corner Iwha MacArthur Highway, Gulf View (Gas station), Shell Station-Ulas, University of Mindanao (Matina footbridge), and Roxas Avenue. From Roxas Avenue going back to Toril, bus stops are Roxas Avenue, Layby Cor. Rizal-Quezon Boulevard (Merco), Sandawa Pias Café, Coke Warehouse in Ulas, Corner Iwha MacArthur Highway, and Toril.
For Catalunan Grande to Roxas Avenue, it will have nine bus stops: Elenita Heights, Santiago Villas, Sitio Awa, Barangay Hall of Catalunan Grande, Phoenix Gas Station, GSIS in Matina, SM Ecoland, Barangay Hall-Almendras, and Roxas Avenue. The travel from Roxas Avenue back to Catalunan Grande will have another nine bus stops: from Roxas Avenue, Mercury Drug in Bankerohan, Malayan College, Bangkal near Petron/Collado, San Isidro Labarador Church, Barangay Hall in Catalunan Grande, Sitio Awa, Santiago Villas, and Elenita Heights.
The City Government of Davao is also pushing for High Priority Bus System, which would replace the jeepney units in the city, to address the need for mass transit system and traffic congestion in the city. (Antonio L. Colina IV / MindaNews)

Palace frowns at stricter House rules in obtaining SALNs

Panelo Manila Bulletin
The Statements of Assets, Liabilities and Net Worth (SALNs) of government officials must be readily available to the public in line with the country’s laws, Malacañang said Monday as it frowned on the House of Representatives’ stricter rules on access to such document.
Presidential Spokesman Salvador Panelo said while the Palace does not intrude into the internal rules of Congress, it noted that a House resolution requiring plenary approval for access to the SALN of lawmakers might hinder the constitutional right of people to information as well as it might be inconsistent with transparency and accountability of public officials.
“We note the passage of a resolution of the House of Representatives requiring plenary approval before it may release a copy of a member’s Statement of Assets, Liabilities and Net Worth (SALN) to the public. Such a procedure may be perceived as a transgression of Article XI of the Constitution, requiring any public official to submit a SALN, in relation to Article II thereof which guarantees the right of the people to information on matters of public concern. Republic Act No. 6713 makes the said document readily available to the public,” Panelo said.
“Any stringent measure which burdens the people in obtaining public information may not be consistent with transparency and accountability of public officials,” he added.
While the House imposes stringent measure on SALN, Panelo highlighted that the Executive has promoted transparency when President Duterte issued Executive Order No. 2 on the Freedom of Information “making effective the people’s right to information within its branch.” 
The House of Representatives recently adopted Resolution 2467 that requires plenary approval before gaining access to a lawmaker’s SALN.
The resolution also seeks to establish the SALN Review and Compliance Committee that will screen public request for the documents stating the wealth of lawmakers. The requesting party must also shell out P300 for every copy of the SALN. (Manila Bulletin)

Friday, February 8, 2019

Facebook in Germany

I was glad and satisfied learning just an hour ago, that Germany's antitrust watchdog restricts Facebook's data collection via other sites.

Facebook faces restrictions in Germany on its collection of data from other sites that it owns like WhatsApp. The social media giant intends to appeal, claiming the watchdog underestimated the competition it faced. Sure, I didn't expect another reaction. But, is  the social media giant abusing its market?

Fact is: the company will only be able to use data from various non-Facebook programs and apps that it owns, such as WhatsApp and Instagram, with explicit user consent. Currently, Facebook bundles together much of the information it gleans from users across its various platforms.

Allow me quoting Mr. Andreas Mundt, president of the antitrust watchdog in Germany, who said yesterday (Thursday, February 8, 2019), "In future, Facebook will no longer be allowed to force its users to agree to the practically unrestricted collection and assigning of non-Facebook data to their Facebook accounts".

Of course, the ruling, which came after a one-year investigation, does not yet have legal force and Facebook has a month to appeal the ruling, which it says it intends to do.

"The Federal Cartel Office underestimates the fierce competition we face in Germany, misinterprets our compliance with the GDPR, and threatens the mechanism European law provides for ensuring consistent data protection standards across the EU," Facebook said.

Well, while living in the Philippines,  I am with Facebook since ten years now. Several friends of mine deleted already their Facebook accounts because they worried that the tech giants are getting more and more out of control. But, aren't all of us already sitting in a glass house?

And here the thing: WhatsApp and Instagram can still collect data from their respective users; however, pooling  this information with a user's Facebook data will only be allowed if that user provides their consent. Operating with double standard?

Facebook can only collect data from third-party websites, such as interfaces that have a "like" or "share" button, with the user's permission. If consent is not given, Facebook can only collect the data to a very limited extent.
The cartel office said that the extent to which Facebook collects data without the consent of a user is "abusive."
It said Facebook could face fines of up to 10 percent of its annual global revenue, which grew by 37 percent to $55.8 billion (€49.2 billion) in 2018, if it fails to comply. Wow.

The antitrust watchdog said Facebook dominates the German market for social networks with 23 million daily and 32 million monthly users, a market share of 95 percent. It pointed out that one of its competitors, Google+, plans to discontinue its social network by April 2019. How about the Philippine market?

However, in its calculations, the cartel office did not consider Snapchat, YouTube, Twitter, LinkedIn, or Xing as competitors to Facebook. It said those services "offer only a selection of social networking services." It claimed that even if they were included, Facebook, with Instagram and WhatsApp, would still dominate the market.

Anyway, you can still email at doringklaus@gmail.com or follow me in Facebook, Twitter or Linkedin or visit my www.germanexpatinthephilippines.blogspot.com or www.klausdoringsclassicalmusic.blogspot.com.

Monday, February 4, 2019

COMVAL to host DAVRAA meet in 2020



Compostela Valley Province----“I am happy that soon, Davawenyo athletes will get to see and experience Compostela Valley. Kita ta ninyo sa Comval ug sa dili madugay Davao de Oro na sunod tuig.”  This was part of the message of Comval Governor Jayvee Tyron L. Uy as he officially received the “Davao Regional Athletic Association” (DAVRAA) Key and banner together with Schools Division Superintendent (SDS) Dr. Reynante A. Solitario of the Department of Education (DEpEd) Compostela Valley Division Office and the DepEd officials.

The ceremonial turnover was held during the closing program of the DAVRAA meet 2019 at the University of the Philippines (UP) Mindanao – Davao City Sports Complex, Mintal, Davao City on February 2, 2019.

The turnover ceremony of the key and banner was led by the City Government of Davao under Mayor Inday Sarah Duterte, DepEd XI Regional Director Atty. Alberto Escobarte and Former Congressman Isidro Ungab.

According to Solitario that the optimism of Governor Uy to host the 2020 DAVRAA meet in the province "is a good sign for us in the DepEd to jumpstart with our preparation for this big sports event in the Davao Region next year. Deped Comval profusely commits to support this golden opportunity to showcase the province’s best in terms of tourism, facilities and billeting centers for all the delegations across the region."

Solitario added that the commitment of stakeholders would surely make the big difference for the entire province and the region as well. For now, 3 Local Chief Executives are up to host this event, these are Mayor Eutropio Jayectin of Montevista, Mayor Maricel Colina-Vendiola of Maragusan and Mayor Roberto Yugo of Pantukan.

Solitario explained that the Quality Assurance Division of DepEd Region XI shall conduct ocular inspection and validation to these municipalities as to the requirements.

“Indeed, this is also a good opportunity for young athletes to complete in a whole new different playing field and this time in the home court. It will be an opportune moment to showcase our vibrant culture as well as reveal to the whole region how highly competitive the province of Comval, soon to be Davao de Oro in all aspects not only in sports-tourism,” said Solitario.

On the other hand, DepEd Comval received the following achievements during the recently concluded DAVRAA Meet 2019 in Davao City as the overall 6th Runner Up in Regular Sports with 10 gold, 31 silver and 55 bronze medals with a total of 52 qualified athletes for “Palarong Pambansa” with 9 coaches and chaperons.

Comval also receive a special award as the Champion for the Most Innovative and Attractive Design in the Main Entrance, First Runner-Up for the Most Eco-Friendly Delegation Quarter (Kitchen, mess hall); Overall 2nd Runner Up in Para Games; and 4th Runner-Up Cleanest Billeting Quarter. (Rey Antibo, ID Comval)


Comval Governor Jayvee Tyron L. Uy officially received the “Davao Regional Athletic Association” (DAVRAA) Key and banner together with Schools Division Superintendent (SDS) Dr. Reynante A. Solitario of the Department of Education (DEpEd) Compostela Valley Division Office as the next host for the DAVRAA meet 2020. The ceremonial turnover was held during the closing program of the DAVRAA meet 2019 at the University of the Philippines (UP) Mindanao – Davao City Sports Complex, Mintal, Davao City on February 2, 2019. (Provincial Photo, M. Lasaca)

Love and marriage

My column in Mindanao Daily and Businessweek Mindanao

I am old-fashioned. Since many decades, I love collecting old magazine and news paper clippings. Can you imagine how my two offices look like? 

Anyway, in a very old issue of PHILADELPHIA NEWS, columnist Larry Fields confessed: "I lead a life of wine, women and song (by the way, a wonderful waltz of the Austrian Johann Strauss!) - it's cheaper than petrol, food and rent!"

Is LOVE just an expression? Or love and marriage?

Some marriages are made in heaven. You know some? I do. The best of the rest is just simply down-to-earth. Maybe also yours? I am blessed and happy celebrating soon my 36th wedding anniversary this coming March 2019... .

Maybe, my dear readers, you remember this, "Then the prince swept the lovely young maiden into his arms and carried her home to his castle. And they live happily ever after!" Indeed, they did. Meanwhile, I met several couples, who would say: happily never after!

What I would like to see is an autonomous in home affairs study of all these title of nobility bearers seven years after their happily-ever-after marriages. Or even earlier, because the so-called darned and tricky seventh marriage year could be even the first one already.

The truth is that life isn't made up of the continual highs found in the initial stages of courtship. Of course, flirting is fun and a wide groove existing. But after a while our system needs a rest. Unanimously, we're in the second stage sooner or later and our marriage life needs badly a new outside coating.

All of a sudden, the partner prefers day and night watching all the sports channels, falls asleep while you're revealing your innermost secrets and even forgets the anniversary for the first or even second time . Just bear in mind: You've won each other's acceptance  and sometimes even feelings terrible gloomy. This acceptance shouldn't be undervalued.

Even we see a house that has to be cleaned, many other things have to be organized, and the partner, who looks as fatigued and bored as you feel. Logical question: "That's it? That WAS it?"

And suddenly, we experienced the third stage and learned, why it's worth the ups and downs. Maybe we men don't mention any more, how incredible she looks, but we enjoy bleating and grousing at her spending innumerable hours putting her together. But then, suddenly, we men are to unload the garbage without being asked for.

Although no marriage is continually blissful - it can be pretty good most of the time. When we lasted through arguments, money worries, and kid's problems or slowly but surely coming up mid-life crises, we should face reality that our relationship is not always a big day celebration.

It's because the fundamental  reason for a marriage has outlasted the craziness of day-to-day living: we love each other. That's MY idea of "Happily ever after, indeed!"

Valentine's Day is just around the corner. It should not be a reason or a sad excuse to bring flowers for our partner and invite her to an amazing lunch or hotel overnight stay. As I said, I am very much old fashioned.