Years to life
Is there anything else that you would like to know?” I had just finished giving her a brief orientation on what was expected from her fellowship training. Her quick reply was, “Yes, Ma’am, how is the work-life balance?” I looked at my young and fresh-faced colleague, smiled, and gave her this reply: “That is a question only you can answer.”
One Tuesday morning, both consultants and trainees were treated to a session on a topic that served as a welcome break from academic discussions. The speaker was a young doctor who specialized in wellness. She started her talk by asking us to breathe in and out in counts of four. The brief exercise not only instilled a sense of calm but also served as a reminder of the power of taking a pause. We were off to a good start.
“What centers you?” Two colleagues volunteered to provide her with answers. One said, “family,” and the other, “God.” Agreeing to both, I silently added a third, “purpose.” She must have read my mind, for her next question was, “What makes you get up in the morning?”
Sharing some highlights from the workshop, one participant was able to sum up why a majority of us felt that we had little time for anything other than work. Inherent to our profession, which is people-oriented, we are hardwired to think about others before attending to ourselves. This, on top of attending to our other duties, eventually encroaches on the time and space that should be allotted to nurturing oneself.
Using her statement as a takeoff, much like how we gather the history behind a patient’s chief complaint, my mind wandered off to work schedules and the symptoms that may signal a diagnosis of imbalance. Are you manifesting any of the following? Forgetfulness, being always in a rush, lacking patience, being easily irritated, waking up tired even after seven hours of sleep, and worse, losing a bit of your sense of humor? The realization that one may be suffering from self-neglect comes to a head when we are no longer able to function with efficiency. This is a danger sign that we might be running on empty.
Too little time, so much to do, how can we achieve some sort of balance? What follows is not a one-size-fits-all, nor is it a foolproof plan. At best, it can make you rethink, remodel, or repurpose the way you go about achieving your goals. Hopefully, it doesn’t fall into the category of being a New Year’s resolution.
Begin by taking out a pen and paper. For the younger generation, your laptop, iPad, tablet, or phone. List down your goals by priority and rank them accordingly to include what is easiest to achieve. Next, create both short- and long-term plans to include the pros and cons. After you finish, which may take some time, analyze how all of these efforts can contribute to or lessen your well-being.
Having completed your list, create a structure. Calendar activities and map out a time frame to keep track of your goals. For now, focus on the more realistic ones. Nothing beats the feeling of accomplishment from finishing a task, regardless of its enormity, and be sure to celebrate it. Make this a personal mantra: “Try to get enough rest, eat healthy, sneak in time for regular exercise, and explore a new hobby. Find out what makes you happy, sparks interest or excitement, and find a way to have a continuous dose.”
On a regular basis, declutter your workspace. Nothing beats an organized desk. Learn to limit your work hours and do a hard stop when necessary. Set boundaries for yourself and make this known to others so that they do not overstep. Learn to delegate and be flexible if things do not go as planned. From experience, being a micromanager can be exhausting. Compartmentalize tasks so you don’t shift from one to another. This can be tiring and nonproductive as well.
Last but not least, learn to say no. No one is indispensable. Taking in more than you can handle, even if you can, may take away the needed time for self-love. How you see and value yourself spills over to how you communicate and interact with others, and how you live your life.
While it is impossible to always be in control, there is peace to be gained in letting go and accepting things we cannot have a grip on, trusting that there is someone up there who knows best. To attempt to achieve that sense of balance will always be up to us.
Hopefully, this week will be the one where I start practicing what I preach. Wish me luck.
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