It has been quite some time since I made a detour to my next-door neighbor, who is an expert in the field of adolescent medicine. Our discussions have always turned out to be quite colorful, and this was no exception. While we swung from one topic to another, both personal and work-related, the conversation eventually landed on concerns regarding the vulnerability of our youth and their mental health.

I have always turned to her for needed guidance, particularly on how to improve conversations with my adolescent and young adult patients. Admittedly, even if there is a template with which we can assess their psychosocial well-being and identify risk factors that may influence their behavior—better known to pediatricians as HEADSSS—which stands for H-home, E-education, E-eating, A-activities, D-drugs, S-sexuality, S-suicide, S-safety—I need to work at making those interactions more comfortable and fluid rather than sounding rigid and rehearsed. It is a learned skill and requires constant practice and extreme patience. From experience, I have found that the mention of food never fails to be a good jump-off point aside from touching on the latest trend, or knowing what the current and so-called “happening places” are. The challenge is to get them interested enough to pursue the conversation with you and progress to that level wherein they voluntarily provide the needed information, which, as a physician, enables you to manage their concerns. And while I may be touching on a doctor-patient relationship, the ingredients to having that needed connection may also apply to parenting techniques.