You plan to move to the Philippines? Wollen Sie auf den Philippinen leben?

There are REALLY TONS of websites telling us how, why, maybe why not and when you'll be able to move to the Philippines. I only love to tell and explain some things "between the lines". Enjoy reading, be informed, have fun and be entertained too!

Ja, es gibt tonnenweise Webseiten, die Ihnen sagen wie, warum, vielleicht warum nicht und wann Sie am besten auf die Philippinen auswandern könnten. Ich möchte Ihnen in Zukunft "zwischen den Zeilen" einige zusätzlichen Dinge berichten und erzählen. Viel Spass beim Lesen und Gute Unterhaltung!


Visitors of germanexpatinthephilippines/Besucher dieser Webseite.Ich liebe meine Flaggensammlung!

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Monday, September 20, 2021

God can call us in a surprise

By Fr. Roy Cimagala *


THAT’S true! God can call us in a surprise. But that’s not because of God who wants to surprise us. Rather, it is because of us. To be sure, everyone is called by God because we are supposed to be like him and to be with him, sharing in his life and in his work.


Insofar as God is concerned, our calling or vocation has already been made from all eternity. But insofar as we are concerned, yes, our vocation can come as a surprise, because we have been ignoring this basic aspect of our life and may have been living a rather colorful life until God’s irrepressible intervention jolts us.


We all need to remind ourselves of this basic truth. All of us have a vocation. We have to sharpen that sense and make it the directing and shaping principle of our life.


Vocation is not only for a few, and for some special part of our life. It is for all of us, since as creatures and children of God, our relation with him is never broken. Our life will always be a life with him, whether we are aware of it or not.


God continues to be with us, and while respecting our freedom always, he calls us to him, for it is him, more than us, who directs and shapes our life. This is the essence of vocation—God calling us to share his life and activity with us, since we are his image and likeness.


Let’s always remember that God created us for a purpose. He did not create us just to leave us on our own. He created us to participate in his life and in his love which is the essence of God.


God can manifest this vocation to us in some dramatic way, often involving drastic changes in the recipients. God can enter into our lives and make his will more felt by us in some special way. Though we cannot help it, we should try our best not to be surprised by these possibilities.


Consider St. Paul, St. Augustine, the apostles themselves, and the patriarchs and prophets like Abraham, Moses, Jonas, Jeremiah, etc. Consider St. Edith Stein, and our very own St. Lorenzo Ruiz and St. Pedro Calungsod. 


Their stories are full of drama and suspense. St. Paul received his vocation while on a mad campaign to arrest the early Christians. St. Augustine, though gifted intellectually, had a colourful past. The apostles were mainly simple people, mostly fishermen. 


St. Edith was an intelligent Jewish agnostic before her conversion. And our own Filipino saints were catechists doing some domestic work for some priests. All had their defects, and sins, and yet they became and are great saints.


Nothing is impossible with God, and with our trust and faith in him, we can also do what is impossible with God.


We have to feel at home with the idea, nay, the truth that all of us have a vocation. Let’s not play blind and deaf. God’s call is actually quite loud enough. And when we are given a special vocation, let’s not be afraid, but rather go for it at full throttle.


Ok, we may hesitate at first, we can have doubts, but if we are honest, we will soon see there’s nothing to be afraid about. God takes care of everything. All he needs is that we trust him, that we have faith in him, and that we try our best to cooperate.


* Chaplain Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise (CITE), Talamban, Cebu City

Saturday, September 18, 2021

We are meant to be the world’s light

By Fr. Roy Cimagala *


TO be truly Christian, we should be what Christ wants us to be—light of the world. As such we have to learn how to give good example to others, obviously with the proper motive and purpose. Christ pointed this out when he said, “No one who lights a lamp conceals it with a vessel or sets it under a bed; rather, he places it on a lamp stand so that those who enter may see the light.” (Lk 8,16)

Yes, if we go by our Christian faith, we are meant to be the light of the world. We are supposed to be a light to the others, to guide them to our proper and ultimate end who is God. We are supposed to be eager to give good examples to the others.

All this is based on what Christ said once. “You are the light of the world…Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” (Mt 5,14-16)

It’s a light that we ought to produce even with our mere presence, or with our words and deeds. It’s a light that we are supposed to produce all the time and everywhere, and not just intermittently and in some places. Even in our sleep, it has to radiate. More, even in our absence, it can continue to shine in the memory of others, in their minds and hearts.

It’s actually the most real, ultimate and necessary light we have on earth. All the other lights will come and go, in varying ways and lengths of time. This one can last forever. It will never wane nor fade away. It goes beyond time and space.

As such, we need to realize that it is a duty of ours, as Christians, to always give good example to others. Not that we have to flaunt whatever good thing we have or do, for Christ clearly said also that we should not show off our good deed before men, to be seen by them, lest we lose our reward in heaven. (cfr. Mt 6,1)

We have to be aware that we always have to give good example to others for the sole purpose of leading others to God. It is to edify others, to encourage them to be holy and to pursue the path of sanctity in an abiding way.

This duty, therefore, should be carried out deliberately. It should somehow be planned and aimed at. It should not just be something incidental or something optional. Of course, this duty should not be done out of pride or vanity, but out of obedience to the will of God who wants to save all men. (cfr. 1 Tim 2,4)

We can be this light, and thus give good example to others, if we strive to identify ourselves increasingly with the source of the Eternal Light, God himself, through Christ in the Holy Spirit. 

This light can come about if we truly desire to know more about God and to grow in a more intimate relationship with him, praying to him in adoration, thanksgiving, expiation and petition, and receiving the sacraments.

We can have this light if we earnestly study the doctrine of our faith, making it flesh of our flesh, such that we can arrive at the awareness we are living with God and not simply by ourselves. Also, when we always strive to grow in the virtues.


* Chaplain Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise (CITE) Talamban, Cebu City.

Do you think we Filipinos were influenced by the Western colonial mentality?

 


The Spaniards colonized the Philippines for over three centuries and by the Americans for about half a century. Because of this long period of colonization, it is to be expected that there will be some elements in our culture that are left-over from much earlier times. Many Filipinos today still follow Spanish customs like the celebration of fiestas, some of which are religious. Many Filipinos have surnames from the Spaniards, for example, Cojuangco. Still, there are also Filipinos with Chinese names like Co Lee or Ong, so these were derived from the southern traders before Spanish rule.

The Western colonial mentality believes that it's better to be white, that other races are inferior. The colonial mentality is the belief that it's better to be rich than poor. The colonial mentality is also acceptance of authority without question and thinking there's nothing wrong with having an authoritarian leader. This type of mentality was transmitted through the education system, where it was ingrained in students' minds that Westerners were superior.

Filipinos today are exposed to foreign cultures through television, books, magazines and the Internet. But Filipinos need to remember that they should not be influenced by foreign culture because if their own culture is being marginalized, then it's no longer Filipino anymore.

57 NCR areas under granular lockdown – DILG


Romina Cabrera - The Philippine Star 

MANILA, Philippines — A total of 57 areas in Metro Manila are on granular lockdown under the new quarantine alert level system, with 11,808 people breaking health protocols on the first day of its implementation last Thursday, authorities said.

Undersecretary Jonathan Malaya, spokesman for the Department of the Interior and Local Government (DILG), told the Laging Handa media briefing yesterday that the 57 areas under granular lockdown are spread throughout all local government units (LGUs) in the National Capital Region (NCR).

“We had an orderly pilot run on the first day of implementation of the alert level system. LGUs were clear on the guidelines, which were the result of a series of consultations with the MMDA (Metropolitan Manila Development Authority) and mayors,” Malaya said in Filipino.

He said LGUs have deployed marshals and officers to monitor compliance of establishments with the guidelines as more businesses are allowed to reopen under the new system.

He noted that there were unvaccinated individuals caught in barber shops and they were instructed to leave.

Malaya said LGU personnel and police have been ordered to intensify their enforcement of minimum health standards, as enforcing the rules across so many more establishments allowed to operate is a challenge.

“On the issue of warning (residents in lockdown areas), that’s in the hands of the LGUs,” Malaya said. “I must emphasize the granular lockdown is smaller and better (managed). Our goal in intervention must be to the smallest possible affected area. PNP flags 11,808 violators

The first day of the new alert level system with granular lockdowns was “generally peaceful” even if the Philippine National Police (PNP) recorded 11,808 health protocol violators.

PNP chief Gen. Guillermo Eleazar said yesterday about 55 percent of these individuals flagged by the police were warned, 38 percent of them fined and seven percent charged with various violations of mandates against mass gatherings and wearing of masks.

“Compared to MECQ (modified enhanced community quarantine) the past 26 days, we were averaging 12,600 violators per day.

So it’s almost the same number even though we all know that more people are expected outdoors because of additional permitted industries to operate,” Eleazar said.

Police personnel have been ordered to maintain their presence in outdoor leisure areas such as parks amid the enforcement of Alert Level 4 in Metro Manila.

“The presence of our uniformed personnel in these areas will serve as a reminder for our citizens to continuously observe the necessary protection for themselves and their companions,” he said.

Those who are not allowed outside their residences under Alert Level 4 are people aged below 18 and above 65; those with immunodeficiencies, comorbidities or other health risks and pregnant women.

These individuals will only be allowed to go out to access or obtain essential goods and services, or if it is for work in permitted industries and offices.

Like restaurants and other business establishments, tourist spots are also gradually opening.

In Manila, Rizal Park now allows the entry of a maximum of 500 people at a time, the Department of Tourism (DOT) said.

Several areas in Intramuros also reopened but under shortened hours of operation. Alert downgrade eyed. MMDA Chairman Benhur Abalos said they are aiming to have a downgrade of the alert level once the pilot implementation of the new quarantine system lapses at the end of the month.“The challenge here is for us to be successful, because we (Metro Manila LGUs) are the pilot implementation. If we are successful, hopefully, we could go down one level so the economy would be more open,” Abalos told an episode of the “The Chiefs” aired on Cignal TV’s One News.

“The goal is to make sure that the region would be downgraded by one level, into Alert Level 3, so there would be an increased capacity of 30 percent (in business establishments),” he added.

Friday, September 17, 2021

Christ’s cross clarifies our human condition

 

By Fr. Roy Cimagala *






        

  I FIND it amusing if it were not a disturbing and sad story.

While Christ was already predicting his passion, death and

resurrection, all that his apostles did was to discuss who among them

was the greatest. (cfr. 9,30-37) This, to me, is the example par

excellence of what is termed as impertinence.


          That’s when Christ told them to be as humble as a little

child. “Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives

me; and whoever receives me, receives not me but the One who sent me.”


          Of course, receiving a child in Christ’s name means

receiving Christ and everything that he has done for the salvation of

man, and this would include suffering and loving the cross. The cross

is necessary in our life. It plays a big role in clarifying our true

condition in our earthly life which is marked by sinfulness and thus,

in great need of redemption.


          We need to know the purpose of the cross because the cross,

through Christ’s passion, death and resurrection, is where everything

in our life is resolved. Christ’s passion, death and resurrection is

the culmination of Christ’s redemptive mission on earth.


          Yes, Christ preached. He performed miracles. But in the end,

he had to offer his life on the cross because no matter what he did,

our sins are such that they simply cannot be undone and forgiven

through the preaching of the truths of our faith and the tremendous

effects of the miracles. Christ has to offer his life on the cross!


          We might ask, if Christ is God, why did he have to go

through all that suffering and death? Why not just say, “Everything is

now all right, guys.” As God, nothing is impossible with him. With the

movement of his will, with a flick of his hand, everything would be as

it should be.


          I must say, it is a good question to ask. Indeed, nothing is

impossible with God. He does not have to do anything spectacular to

repair what was damaged. A word from him, and everything would be as

he wants it to be.


          Be that as it may, the fact is that Christ chose the way the

Father wanted it. “Not my will, but yours be done,” Christ said. (Lk

22,42) And I imagine the reason behind this is because God respects

our human nature as it is, as it has been created by him, capable of

loving and hating, and also capable of being faithful and unfaithful

and faithful again after some conversion, and some consequences

follow.


          The return to fidelity, given our nature, will unavoidably

involve suffering and death which Christ took to himself, showing us

the way of how to go about these consequences of our sins.


          In other words, the cross and all the suffering it involves

are the consequences of our sins which need to be forgiven and undone.

And that can only happen when with Christ, we go through the

consequences of our sin by suffering them with Christ on the cross.

Thus the cross of our sins has been converted by Christ into the cross

of our salvation. That’s how we have to understand the cross and all

the suffering it involves.


          We should not be afraid of the cross. In fact, we should be

looking forward to have it if only to help in Christ’s continuing work

of our redemption.


* Chaplain Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise (CITE) Talamban, Cebu City.

Email: roycimagala@gmail.com

Thursday, September 16, 2021

Is the Filipino language Tagalog close to the Spanish language?


Profile photo for Dayang C Marikit
Dayang C Marikit
I’m a Philippine history professor. I would like to inform people that “nothing is set in stone” because we are constantly gathering information and learning about our history, somethings may change in the future, but for now the things that I publish are the things that we currently perceive to “know about.”

No, Filipino language is a part of the Austronesian language family, specifically the Western Malayo-Polynesian branch. We may have adopted some Spanish loanwords but our languages are related to other Maritime Southeast Asian languages, such as Malay and Javanese.

On a side note, even Malay and Javanese had also adopted Portuguese, Dutch, English, Arabic and Sanskrit loanwords. While Spanish had also adopted many Arabic loanwords as well.

  • It's normal for languages to adopt loanwords. In the Philippines we actually have multiple words for the same thing. We may have a "Spanish based loanword" and a "Local translation" as well. Ex: (Mesa/Hapag = Table), (Kwarto/Silid = Room), (Libro/Aklat = Book), (Bandila/Watawat = Flag), etc.

Would Spanish speakers understand these?


Being respectful of the culture and people of your expat country

by Mikki Beru


Respect, whether for individuals, the society, the laws, is a universal value. While it is usually the norm in your own country, it tends to be secondary when you move to another country. As an expat in a new place, you will try to forge a new status and identity. But while observing the people and the culture, it is quite natural to fall into the trap of systematic comparison. So how can you be respectful of the culture of your expat country without feeling superior to the locals?

Individualism and collectivism

What is culture? At its world conference on cultural policies, Unesco defines it as "a set of distinctive features, spiritual and material, intellectual and emotional, which characterize a society or a social group. In addition to the arts and letters, it encompasses ways of life, fundamental human rights, values, traditions and beliefs [and] gives man the capacity to reflect on himself. This makes us, specifically rational, critical and ethically committed human beings. This process allows us to discern values ​​and make choices. Values allow men to express themselves, become aware of themselves, recognize themselves as an unfinished project, questions their achievements, search for new meanings and create works that transcend them”. (Mexico City Declaration on Cultural Policies, 1982)

"Unfinished project" means that the man is perpetually building himself. Travelling has the power of instilling humility, as long as we admit our real position. Because before even talking about respect for others, we have to examine our relationship with ourselves. Living in a country where individualism is the norm or in a state favouring group culture greatly influences our perceptions. Individualism is a "doctrine which makes the individual the foundation of society and moral standards". Collectivism, or group culture, instead perceives the individual as the link in a chain. Depending on others, the individual participates and guarantees the stability of the whole system. Western countries are renowned for their individualistic culture, while Eastern and African countries have embraced a collectivist culture.

Freedom and respect for others

These concepts imply norms and values, which induce appreciable behaviour in certain conditions, but not in others. Individualism brings autonomy, independence, personal initiative, which are desirable assets, especially in professional circles. But individualism can also relate to selfishness, feelings of superiority, and self-centeredness. Taking initiatives may be welcomed in a country like France but not in Japan, where it can be perceived as arrogance. Cooperation is perceived positively in the professional environment because it implies the capacity for listening, observing, questioning, and empathy. But it can also give rise to fears of passivity, which is a negative trait for an expat. Group pressure can also have an impact on personal growth. This applies as much to the professional circle as it does to social circles.

Expats often find themselves in delicate positions, with the feeling of a lack of freedom. Freedom of expression, which is a fundamental value, is restricted in some countries. Far from embracing all the values ​​of their host country, careful observation can allow expats to best adapt their behaviour to their new culture. For example, to openly criticize the Chinese regime seems cavalier. We are much less likely to criticize the royal family of England, although we will offend the locals with whom we want to have ties. More broadly, arriving in a foreign country claiming your expatriate status as a privilege allowing systematic criticism will rarely be considered a sign of openness and respect. Sometimes overused, the idea of ​​freedom slips towards "my freedom first and foremost", a pretext for adopting questionable behaviour. In this way, “reputations” are forged well anchored in the collective unconscious of the premises. Some expats find no harm in reproducing their typical behaviour abroad, like crossing the street outside pedestrian crossings or at red lights. This can be usual practice in France, for example, but considered extravagant in Japan. In Tokyo, there are police officers in front of specific streets, ready to whistle any pedestrian who dares to cross at a red light.

Individual behaviour puts your own perception and interest ahead of those of others. You tend to think that: “I am an expatriate. I have the right. People will understand me”. But the truth is that expatriates have to understand others to better question themselves. So they are required to unlearn to embrace their new culture better.

Unlearn and relearn

There are many reasons why people relocate abroad. While most of them move for better career prospects and higher wages, there are many things to consider. For example, adapting to a new culture, including the business culture, can be challenging. But expat life is not limited to work. Visualizing the professional sphere only makes one fear being stuck in an expat circle. Often, expats do not even speak their new country's language, which makes it hard for them to integrate. Things tend to get even more complicated for expat couples and families. People not directly involved in the professional project are more likely to see the new challenges, such as the local labour market and difficulty finding a job, integration into the new school, daily activities, etc.

There is no real answer to this situation, but continuous learning is the key.  Respecting the culture and the country requires unlearning some of the standards acquired in your home country to better learn that of your host country. Sometimes, you have to forget where you come from to rediscover yourself in your new country. It's a pseudo-oblivion that does not question your origin but helps you avoid the pitfall of feeling privileged. You will tend to think that: "I am expatriate", "I am of this nationality". But keep in mind that an expatriate is in no case superior to a local, regardless of their social status. An expatriate is an individual like any other.

To unlearn and relearn is to discover new traditions, cultures and practices. It includes speaking another language. As a communication vector, a language conveys many social codes. Some expatriates say they do not suffer from their lack of mastery of the local language. Nevertheless, speaking the same language makes it possible to avoid interpersonal skills, better understand a new culture, and embrace its codes. As a child, an expatriate also learns by imitating others. The frustration felt at the beginning is beneficial because it induces humility and respect. Expatriates will need help, especially during the first months of their installation, and locals will be more inclined to help them as they see the efforts to integrate. Of course, expatriates may prefer to flock together and build an expat network, but this should not prevent them from opening up to others. Otherwise, they will have to question their purpose of moving abroad.

Expatriates may fear being continually observed by others, especially due to their skin colour. And they tend to observe the people around them, and this isn't a bad thing after all. Mutual observation, being respectful and not judgmental, allows everyone to reposition themselves. Locals are more likely to differentiate integrated expatriates from others. Expats who have successfully integrated can be recognized by their approach, gestures, and ability to communicate, which are pretty similar to those of the locals. However, expatriates can still be perceived as foreigners, even after spending many years abroad. While this can be very frustrating, it invites greater humility.

Respect and humility are the keys to successful integration into a new country. This is why well-integrated expatriates prefer to dissociate themselves from other foreigners, fearing confusion from the locals. Cultural diversity is an opportunity, and moving abroad is a good way to understand others and oneself. When these are placed on the right balance, expatriates are able to better appreciate their new life and all the changes brought into themselves.

Article translated from Comment être respectueux de la culture et des gens de son pays d'accueil


Mikki Beru
About Mikki Beru

Mikki is living the expat life in Japan. She's a content writer for Expat.com and a lifestyle and pop culture blogger.

Our duty to spread God’s word

By Fr. Roy Cimagala*





        


  IN the gospel, we can notice that Christ was going from one

place to another, busy preaching and proclaiming the good news of the

Kingdom of God. (cfr. Lk 8,1-3) We need to realize that since we have

to be like Christ, we should also deeply feel the duty to preach and

proclaim this good news, especially these days when we are flooded

with all sorts of bad news.


          We really need to internalize this duty, making it a strong

and driving conviction by doing everything to make it so, studying,

meditating, writing, talking, using all the available means to spread

the living and saving word of God.


          We have to realize that preaching the Word of God is a task

entrusted to Christ’s apostles and shared by all of us in different

ways. The clergy, of course, takes a leading role in this affair. It’s

a serious business that involves our whole being, and not just our

talents and powers.


          First we need to examine our understanding and attitude

toward God’s word, especially the Gospel. On this basic understanding

would depend what we do with the Gospel and how we should handle it.


          Do we really know the true nature of the Gospel? Or do we

take it as just one more book, perhaps with certain importance, but

definitely not as the living word of God, in spite of its human

dimensions?


          The Gospel is actually the proclamation of Christ as the

Emmanuel, that is, God with us. This is an on-going affair that did

not stop with the death of Christ. Christ lives with us up to now, and

continues to do things with us.


          All these affirmations are captured in the last lines of the

Gospel of St. Matthew where our Lord said:


          “Go, therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them…. And

behold I am with you all days, even to the consummation of the world.”

(28,19-20)


          Our Catechism tells us that “We must continue to accomplish

in ourselves the stages of Jesus’ life and his mysteries and often to

beg him to perfect and realize them in us and in his whole Church”

(521)


          Obviously, to carry out this mission, we need to know our

Lord and his teachings. We have to go to him and read the Gospel.

Reading and meditating on it should be a regular practice for us, a

habit meant to keep us in touch with him.


          Thus, every time we read the Gospel, we have to understand

by our faith that we are engaging with our Lord in an actual and

living way. We are listening to him, and somehow seeing him. We can

use our imagination to make ourselves as one more character in any

scene depicted in any episode of the Gospel.


          For this, we need to look for the appropriate time and

place. We have to be wary of our tendency to be dominated by a

lifestyle of activism and pragmatism that would blunt our need for

recollection and immersion in the life of Christ.




          The drama of Christ’s life here on earth has to continue in

our own life. Thus, we need to continually conform our mind and heart

to the Gospel, an affair that demands everything from us.


          Preaching should reflect the condition of our heart as it

grapples with the living word of God. It should not just be a matter

of declaiming or orating, reduced to the art of public speaking and

stage performing, a mere play of our talents.

 
*Chaplain Center for Industrial Technology and Enterprise (CITE)
Talamban, Cebu City


Email: roycimagala@gmail.com

Wednesday, September 15, 2021

My hiding place at home...

 



My hiding place for praying and relaxing ... 

My special friend - my Rexy ...

The tree - my friend ... I love to hug him ... 

My home ...


LOVE, MARRIAGE AND MORE

My column in Mindanao Daily and BusinessWeek Mindanao 


OPINION
By KLAUS DORING
 September 14, 2021

I am old-fashioned. For many decades, I have loved collecting old magazine and newspaper clippings. Can you imagine what my two offices look like?

Anyway, in a very old issue of PHILADELPHIA NEWS from 1999,  then columnist Larry Fields confessed: "I lead a life of wine, women and song (by the way, a wonderful waltz of the Austrian Johann Strauss!) - it's cheaper than petrol, food and rent!"

Is LOVE just an expression? Or love and marriage?

Some marriages are made in heaven. You know some? I do. The best of the rest is just simply down-to-earth. Maybe also yours? I am blessed and happy to celebrate my 39th wedding anniversary very soon... .

Maybe, my dear readers, you remember this, "Then the prince swept the lovely young maiden into his arms and carried her home to his castle. And they live happily ever after!" Indeed, they did. Meanwhile, I met several couples, who would say: happily never after!

What I would like to see is an autonomous in home affairs study of all these titles of nobility bearers seven years after their happily-ever-after marriages. Or even earlier, because the so-called darned and tricky seventh marriage year could be even the first one already.

The truth is that life isn't made up of the continual highs found in the initial stages of courtship. Of course, flirting is fun and a wide groove exists. But after a while our system needs a rest. Unanimously, we're in the second stage sooner or later and our marriage life badly needs a new outside coating.

All of a sudden, the partner prefers day and night watching all the sports channels, falls asleep while you're revealing your innermost secrets and even forgets the anniversary for the first or even second time . Just bear in mind: You've won each other's acceptance  and sometimes even feel terribly gloomy. This acceptance shouldn't be undervalued.

Even we see a house that has to be cleaned, many other things have to be organized, and the partner, who looks as fatigued and bored as you feel. Logical question: "That's it? That WAS it?"

And suddenly, we experienced the third stage and learned why it's worth the ups and downs. Maybe we men don't mention any more, how incredible she looks, but we enjoy bleating and grousing at her spending innumerable hours putting her together. But then, suddenly, we men unload the garbage without being asked for it.

Although no marriage is continually blissful - it can be pretty good most of the time. When we last through arguments, money worries, and kid's problems or slowly but surely coming up mid-life crises, we should face reality that our relationship is not always a big day celebration.

It's because the fundamental  reason for a marriage has outlasted the craziness of day-to-day living: we love each other. That's MY idea of "Happily ever after, indeed!"

Valentine's Day is not around the corner. No guys, don't worry! And by the way, this one and only day  should not be a reason or a sad excuse to bring flowers for our partner and invite her to an amazing lunch or hotel overnight stay. As I said, I am very much old fashioned.