Edit: Seeing as this answer has gotten a lot of attention recently, I think it deserves another edit after 7 years. I kept the original points but added some additional information as a test to see if this helps people more or disrupts the post.
- You stay at home every chance you get - The world is waiting for you outside your home. None of the best things you experience will happen inside your own home.
- Edit: This point hinges on the word “every” chance you get. People that work from home, order in, and don’t step a foot outside most weeks. If you go outside to work, to meet friends, or to just go for a walk, then this already excludes you. The point is to leave your home some time. What that means depends on you, your social battery, your day-to-day and about a thousand other factors. There is a clear correlation between leaving your home and being happier in life; this is true for the average person.
- Your favorite word is “but” - “But I don’t want to. But I have too much to do. But it will get better on it’s own. But it doesn’t matter that much.” “But” is the best excuse maker you can find, nothing more.
- Edit: Try replacing it with “Yes, and” and see what happens. For many it is easier to say “No” or “but” to themselves not to do something, than it is to say “Yes”. Again, if you are a person too burdened by life, or are saying “Yes” to everything, that may also be overdoing it. Many people listen to the doubts, fears and worries, and then have no energy to say “Yes” to their dreams, their friends or themselves.
- Sleep > anything else - Your favorite place is your bed or your couch, you sleep in any chance you can get and you wish you could spend the entire day under the covers instead of experiencing the amazing things life has to offer.
- Edit: Sleep is important for everything. You need your 7–9 hours (depending on your own biology), but that is it. More won’t catch up on sleep, nor will it make you feel more awake. Instead, it will just waste time to let life pass you by. That does not mean you have to stand up and go for a Marathon, but try to get your day started faster when you wake up and use sleep when you need it.
- Your life is “fine” - “Fine” is the worst way to describe your life. If you ever use that word you know something is not going right.
- Edit: There is nothing wrong with a “good” or “quaint” life. That is an important distinction from a “fine” life, in the way it is meant here. The default “I am fine” is mostly something to say to avoid the truth. Very few people that say their life is “fine” actually believe that. It would be better to be honest and admit that you do not want to do anything about that, than to lie. You don’t have to do anything about it either, it is your life, but lying about how “fine” it all is serves no one.
- You are unhappy more days than not - Generally there is a feeling of unhappiness about your life, not one of excitement, joy and passion.
- Edit: Unhappiness is not the same as depression. Everyone is unhappy some days. We all experience it, and all experience it many times a year. The problem isn’t unhappiness or a lack of happiness, but the consistency in which it shows up in. If you are unhappy every day, or even multiple days a week, then your time is likely spent on avoidance or settling rather than problem solving. BIG CAVEAT: Depending on how busy, stressed or sad your life is, you may not have the energy to solve that problem alone. If that is true, then please find someone to talk to about it because that does not have to be the norm. Regular unhappiness is a warning sign. Take it seriously.
- Most of your day involves wasting time - At your job you try to look productive without being it, and at home you try to feel productive without being it. You are not giving any value to the world and just wasting your time away until you die.
- Edit: The main part that makes life feel fulfilled is conscious choice. If you consciously choose to watch cat videos all day after a stressful week, that is not a waste of time. If you go to the gym for two hours every day just because everyone else is, that actually has more of a chance to be a waste of your time. Be conscious about your choices, and choose every time you can. Caveat: Life is unfair. Some people do not have the option to choose, nor can they make choices every minute of every day, or even about many big things. That is not fair, but it is the reality. The point is that you choose what you can, make choices where you can, and become an active participant in your own life as much as you can. It is all relative.
- You are bored a lot - Boredom is one of your key emotions and you would not know what to do without Internet or your phone, or god-forbid if you were alone.
- Edit: This one follows the same principle as the Unhappiness edit. It is not about never being bored, but about the consistency in which boredom shows up. Feeling bored after an intense book, or after a long night out, or after finishing a really captivating movie, is normal. Not being bored also does not mean your life has to be exciting. This brings up the point about a “good”/”quaint”/”fine” life again. The problem is that boredom often leads to unconscious choices, and that, in large, to a wasted life.
- You wait for things to happen - You don’t call your friends because you didn’t plan anything, and you don’t go to the local events because you are too afraid to try out something new. But if something interesting were to happen I’m sure you would be first one out…
- Edit: If you sit at home, choosing what to do with your day, you are not waiting for something to happen. But if you are missing something in your life, and are avoiding looking at it, if you let time pass by in the hopes it comes to you by chance, then it is a waste of time. Life does not owe you that. It may never happen this way. Just don’t let your discomfort or fear keep you from chasing after the things you truly want.
- No one wants to spend time with you - No one wants to be around a boring person. Sad, but true. When you are wasting your life your friends, family and everyone else will notice it and try their best to avoid you to avoid being dragged down with you.
- Edit: This one is another sign, much like the unhappiness point. If you seek out people, and they avoid spending time with you, it likely is a reflection of the energy you bring. This is one of the bigger amplifying factors in depression. Noticing it before it spirals to that level can change the trajectory. And, again, the opposite of this is not the solution. You don’t need “everyone” to want to spend time with you.
- Nothing changes - Year after year you have the same resolutions because you never get done what you set out to do. And year after year you fail again. Haven’t you had enough of nothing ever changing?
- Edit: The key point here is that you “fail” in the resolutions you set to change life. If you like your life, then I assume you are not reading this post (if you are anyway, then you may not need anything to change). If you do not like your life, however, and nothing changes, then you need to try new things. That often means more uncomfortable things, or more difficult ones, but it can also be something simple or small. Change isn’t always good either. That is not the point of this point. The point is that any change causes a disruption, and any disruption to a life you feel you’re wasting, gives you opportunities to improve it. Without disruptions you will stay stuck in the same loops you’ve always been in.
Final note: Life is complicated. Your situation, personality, experiences, the way life treated you, the hand you were dealt, the place you grew up… everything matters and nothing can encompass it all. If these tips help you: Great. If not, then ignore them.
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